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With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NIV)

Angie Lewis ^(13,733) Gold Level Author

Angie Lewis

Heaven Ministries

Meeting Each Others Emotional Needs

Posted Tuesday, October 27, 2009 (11 days 16 hours ago.) Viewed 32 times.

How can couples meet each other's emotional needs better? How can couples prevent emotional infidelities from happening in their marriage? When two people become bonded through marriage they depend on one another for their emotional needs getting met. But what happens later on down the road? Let's take a look.

* Lack of Intimacy Intimacy becomes lost because couples have stopped having intimate conversations and alone time with one another. Understand that intimacy and sex is not the same thing. Sex can be intimate, but you can also be intimate without having sex. Intimacy is the closeness a person feels with another. Watching a movie and eating popcorn together on the couch can be an intimate moment between couples.

* Rejected Feedings - When a spouse exerts their opinion, thoughts and ideas and the other spouse invalidates those feelings, a spouse can feel rejected and unneeded. You can keep the fires burning in your marriage by agreeing and supporting one another. Marriage should not be "her way" or "his way" but "both your way", teamwork. How good and pleasant when fellow believers live together in unity. (Psalm 133:1)

* Lack of Intimate Conversation Do you know the person you married? One reason we lose touch with our spouse is because we stop having intimate conversations. We want to feel comfortable talking with and being with the person we married, but did you know that many couples feel uncomfortable being with each other. What causes that? Lack of bonding (intimate attachment) with one another and fear of feelings being rejected.

* Lack of Same Goals, Aspirations Most marriages have the husband doing his own thing, and he has his own friends and hobbies, and the wife does her own things, friends and hobbies. They are pulling away from each other rather than working to be together and applying teamwork in the marriage. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

* Confusion of Roles In marriage the husband has his roles and responsibilities that should be attended to and the wife has hers. Together they make a team because they compliment each other's position in the marriage. But when the wife tries to overthrow her husband's manly protection and position in the marriage, the balance of the marriage becomes upset. It works the other way too. Couples should be working with and encouraging each other so as to compliment each other's position in the marriage.

* Lack of Spiritual Oneness It's ironic how God brings couples together in marriage, and how couples usually drift apart from each other. They are not basing their marriage on God's truths and principles. Couples need to pray together every day. Reading of the bible and prayer together is a must for a healthy and balanced marriage.

What Happens When The Above Emotional Needs Do Not Get Met

* Lose Love For One Another - Couples lose interest with each other and think they are not in love anymore. Couples desperately need to be encouraging and supportive with the person they married. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

* Building and Harboring of Resentments -- When our emotional needs don't get met we tend carry around a negative attitude about the person we married. Faults and weaknesses of our spouse become magnified. We may clam up and think bad of the person we married or we may become angered and say mean things to our spouse, or worse become violent.

Resentments will kill your marriage. Do not let the sun go down in your anger and resentment. Talk about your issues right away. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. (Colossians 3:13)

* Emotional and Physical Infidelities -- When a spouse feels unloved, rejected, or dismissed because of the lack of intimacy and spiritual oneness in the marriage, couples go outside the bounds of the marriage to get those needs fulfilled. But this does not work. Let me tell you why.

For you to receive what you need from your spouse, you have to also compromise or sacrifice a part of yourself to "give" back to your spouse. It works both ways-couples need to work together and apply the principles that were designed for marriage. It does not matter whom you are interacting with on an intimate level, you will also need to do the same with them for it to be a happy union.

God teaches us to love on principle not on how we are feeling, but sometimes that is difficult to do. Feelings tell us to go to the other side of the fence for the emotional needs that are lacking in our marriage-this is why there is so much infidelity in marriage. God tells us to go to Him and pray about our circumstances and ask Him for the guidance and answers we need. Which way are you going?

Love must be sincere. Feelings should never be the based on how you love another. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:8)

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Check out Angie and Frank's Marriage Ministry

http://www.heavenministries.com

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Marriage: I Don't Love You Anymore

Posted Tuesday, October 06, 2009 (32 days 19 hours ago.) Viewed 186 times.

Think about the title of this article for just a moment and how corny it sounds. I don't love you anymore. Actually when a spouse says, "I don't love you anymore" it means they don't want to love you anymore. Selfishness has taken precedent in this person's life and they are simply tired of doing things that show love, such as sacrifice, respect and responsibility. Because all three of these are what love is!

There is so much of the "I don't love you anymore" between couples in marriage that marriage gurus have to come up with more and more articles and books on "how to win your ex back" and "how to make your ex fall back in love with you". What kind of love are these articles referring to? You can't just "fall out of love" with your spouse or significant other if you weren't really loving them in the first place.

You shouldn't have to try and win your ex spouse back if he or she belongs to you. Didn't God bless you with the person you are married to? Of course He did. Couples should be reading articles on how to bring God into their marriage so they may learn how to love one another with real love. What is real love? When you sacrifice a part of your self for your spouse that is love. When you try to understand your spouse that is love. When you do things that show love, even when you don't feel like it that is love.

So you see, when all is said and done, it won't matter what worldly tactics you use to try and "be loved" or "win back love" or "love others" unless you are committed to the relationship. Marriage commitment is a lifestyle and marriage non-commitment is a lifestyle.

For instance, if you are used to living by your feelings and doing whatever you want then that is the lifestyle you have made for yourself. If you are used to showing love by sharing yourself and working at being a loving person in your marriage then you have made that your lifestyle. Your commitment level shows in your lifestyle; it shows in what you do for your marriage.

The "I don't love you anymore" attitude is based upon feelings only, and that's all. The person who says they "don't love anymore" may actually believe it because they have been taught that love is a feeling. When you first think you are "in love" with someone, that is only a mixture of desire and lust. That's all it is. This is why two or three years later when these feelings are gone, you believe you aren't "in love" anymore.

If you want to save your marriage you have to "be committed"! You have to "show your love" through your commitment. It doesn't matter how you feel about each other as much as what you are going to do to stay married. You can live an uncommitted lifestyle for your marriage or you can take responsibility for "your part in the marriage" and be happy with what God has blessed you with. It's all up to you. You make your own happiness!

Remember, love is not how your feel, but what you do. Have you shown your love to your spouse today? Love is a choice. You choose to love or not to love. You choose to take responsibility for your marriage, or not. You choose to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your spouse, or not. You choose to love because it is what Jesus Christ has taught us to do.

Check out Angie and Frank's Marriage Healing Ministry, Heaven Ministries: http://www.heavenministries.com

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Confusion of Spiritual Headship and Submission

Posted Tuesday, September 22, 2009 (46 days 16 hours ago.) Viewed 80 times.

So what's the problem with Christian marriage today? The problem is men and women have not been taught in their church to partake in their God-given roles and duties in the ways of the Lord and consequently complete chaos and confusion has ensued. Society has turned marriage and love upside down!

Christian roles for marriage have become perverted. True or false?

Immoral Christian culture has taken hold of Christian society. True or false?

Feminism has turned a wife's responsibility in marriage upside down. True or false?

True, True, and True!

God's Word has not changed just because it is the twenty first century! Husbands still have the God-given responsibility to protect and provide for their wives in the ways of the Lord. Unfortunately most Christian married couples do not understand the Godly principles that are attached to the husband being the spiritual head and confusion has ensued.

What Are The Responsibilities of the Christian Husband?

* To seek God's will for his life and marriage

* To provide for his wife financially

* To love and care for his wife the way Christ does His people-The Church

* To protect his wife from outside influences and abuses

* To put his marriage first, above everything else including his work and children

* To discipline and love his children in the ways of the Lord

Do you think that if a husband were living out his purpose for marriage his wife would have a problem submitting to that purpose? I think not. But what is happening now in Christian marriage is the wife works all day, and she is tired too, and the result, both husband and wife begrudgingly do merely what is needed to sustain some sort of balance in the home. But they are both emotionally drained.

In some instances, because of needs notgetting met, husband and wife become disrespectful with each other. This unappreciative attitude keeps the household system in an unorganized and chaotic uproar. Pretty soon they begin to blame each other for the disarray of the marriage. The wife starts getting bossy with her husband and the husband gets bossy back and they both seek solace from outside influences.

Where is walking with the Lord, as the Christian is instructed to do?

What Are The Responsibilities of the Christian Wife?

* To seek God's will for her life and marriage

* To submit to her husbands spiritual management

* To respect and honor her husbands position

* To be a help-meet to her husband by helping to make their marriage and family life productive in and for the Lord

* To put her marriage first, above everything else including work, and even children

What can married Christian couples do today to save their marriage from becoming just another worldly marriage? They can bring God into the marriage and follow the God-given responsibilities that Christ has taught for couples to follow in marriage.

Do you see how when couples unknowingly keep God out of their marriage they begin walking as individuals instead of one flesh? The wife does her thing and the husband does his thing . But when you care for your marriage in the ways of the Lord, God's influence encourages you to be givers for each other-its part of the blessings of marriage.

On the flip side of the coin, when God is far from our own hearts, we become self-seeking, self-centered, and unappreciative and behave in ways that go against the will of God in marriage. Is it any wonder most marriages end in divorce or are unhappy?

Ask yourself, "Am I doing the will of God when I do this?" If the answer is no then pray about it. Ask Christ to guide you in the proper ways and lead you to being the man or woman that He would like for you to be for your marriage.

Are you seeking God's will for yourself and marriage? True or false?

See Angie and Frank's Marriage Healing Ministry: http://www.heavenministries.com

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With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NIV)

Meeting Each Others Emotional Needs

Marriage: I Don't Love You Anymore

Confusion of Spiritual Headship and Submission

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