Calamitous Government Report Leaked by Accident Although I keep this slot on Searchwarp for a poor attempt at humor, from time to time a news story is so important that I have to yield to information superceding a laugh. Especially when the news is no laughing matter. It is being reported by... ( added 1 year 221 days ago.)

U. S. Government Funds Another Fishy Program. We read in the news everyday that our government doesn't have enough money; actually they have none, to fund Social Security or Medicare or education, or any one of a hundred important programs in our country. Thank the good Lord they have the... ( added 1 year 225 days ago.)

A Flaky Holiday for the Fak Family. For Easter the Fak family made the yearly treks up from the south and down from the north to gather again at our home for our annual feast. It is one of those times where we all try to get together although someone always misses as life... ( added 1 year 228 days ago.)

2008 Olympics; Toilet Blunders a New Sport. Well the Olympics are just a few months away and Beijing China is all ready for the 500,000 foreigners expected to come to their city and country to watch the games. The stadiums are ready. The venues are prepared. And there aren't any regular... ( added 1 year 232 days ago.)

IRS Rebate Check has Blunderous Possibilities Well, thanks to my utter failure at being a success, I find myself eligible for $600 big ones from the government sometime this summer. If I actually was living large, I wouldn't get a dime but since I have found my niche firmly entrenched in the... ( added 1 year 240 days ago.)

Being Unlucky Enough to be Lucky. It's been a crazy winter in the Midwest. We had thunderstorms and heavy snows, cold days, warm days and days where the wind would knock the Statue of Liberty over. Throughout it all I kept hearing that although it was a terrible winter, we... ( added 1 year 243 days ago.)

The English Language is a Massive Blunder. I often receive inquiries from individuals seeking help with reports and presentations. I don't do that type of work as I consider such jobs in the same category as having all ones teeth pulled and I am an expert on the latter. Almost always the... ( added 1 year 250 days ago.)

Why Are We In Such a Hurry? I can't tell you exactly when this happened to the world. I know it happened during my lifetime but to give you an exact date is impossible. Perhaps it happened gradually over many years and that's why it wasn't there then and is here now. You... ( added 1 year 254 days ago.)

Blundering Through Modern Music I see on E-Bay where a man has his record store collection of vinyl albums, singles and CD's offered up for $3 million dollars. Since the collection consists of almost five million pieces I assume that's good deal. A good deal if the buyer still... ( added 1 year 257 days ago.)

“Alli” Weight Loss Pill has Blundersome Side Effects There is a new weight loss pill on the market and it appears to take the cake with its explanation of possible side effects. We have all been scared to death by the required, quickly spoken potential risks from pills on television commercials.... ( added 1 year 264 days ago.)

“People Parts” Blunder into the News. The Federal Communications Commission is proving how inept they are at being our last bastion against rude and crude on our television stations. The FCC has proposed, which isn't the same as demanding, a $1.4 million dollar fine be levied against... ( added 1 year 271 days ago.)

Professional Writing has its Strange Moments. I want it explained I love my job as a writer. I find a great deal of satisfaction in not only what I write but in what I help others to write as well. Many of you fellow searchwarp writers understand what I mean. The concept of taking words and... ( added 1 year 278 days ago.)

The Search for Intelligent Life should include Earth. I saw an interesting show the other day about SETI, the organization that transmits to the far reaches of the universe looking for a galactic pen pal. To date no one has answered back. That doesn't prove anything but one has to ponder if maybe... ( added 1 year 282 days ago.)

False Teeth, the Final Chapter Over the years I have received feedback on many things I have written. From gripes about politicians, or corruption or a utility company going amuck with consumer rates, I have written them all and I have received comments back regarding those... ( added 1 year 285 days ago.)

I Owe Nothing and I Refuse to Pay it We all have read how the sub prime mortgage fiasco has helped tank our economy. Couple a person losing their home and their job plus having a 50% increase in gasoline and energy to heat ones home that they soon won't own and it is no wonder things... ( added 1 year 292 days ago.)

Cloned Animals and maybe People hits the News I once wrote that the problem I had with eating cloned animals is that it might give me cloned fat which would be harder to get rid of since it isn't real. Well, it appears our progeny will someday find out if that little tidbit by me will be just... ( added 1 year 296 days ago.)

Movie Titles and Song Lyrics work their way into News Blunders In Mason City, Iowa a story that's nothing but a bunch of chicken manure hits the news. Oh, the story isn't bad. It's just that it really is a tale of chicken manure and why it isn't a good thing to spread such product around our nation's roads.... ( added 1 year 299 days ago.)

Television Weather Reports Drove me to the Brink From time to time I just muse and mull over life. Like this morning. As I sit here typing, the bedroom ceiling is drying out from a leak from the deluge of rain we had last evening. I can look out the window and see the end of the sump pump hose... ( added 1 year 303 days ago.)

Fak’s “Funny Quotes” 2007 Final Edition. At the end of every year, I find it essential I clean up my documents files. They have become too cumbersome again so I have to save and clean but mostly delete the past year's rantings. As I sit here I'm having a masseuse massage my pointer... ( added 1 year 306 days ago.)

Your 2008 Horoscopes, Swami Fak’s Predictions. From time to time I receive an inquiry into whether I would be interested in writing horoscopes. Twice in the last three months I was asked if I would do humorous ones. It looks like funny astrologers must be at a premium these days. The offers... ( added 1 year 310 days ago.)

Christmas 1958, A Sears Blunder Creates a Holiday Extravaganza. Ten years old is a pretty good age to be. At least it was for me back in 1958. I had finally mastered my multiplication tables and could spell most normal words, so school was starting to be less trying, especially when I showed up for it I was... ( added 1 year 324 days ago.)

Warning Label Blunders in the News The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse organization has just released their list of the dumbest warning labels of 2007. The group whose goal is to bring emphasis to the incredible deluge of frivolous lawsuits, offers cash prizes for people submitting the... ( added 1 year 327 days ago.)

Blundering Through a Motorcycle Accident; In the Living Room This personal blunder started mildly enough. An aunt had died who had just received from Medicare a mini-scooter so she could putt around her neighborhood without having to extend herself physically. The scooter was a small knockdown version of... ( added 1 year 334 days ago.)

Burgled Beer and Frog Smooching Top the News This is a painful story to report but someone has to do it so it might as well be me. In what must be considered one of the most heinous crimes in the history of civilization, Irish police have reported that some dastardly villains have stolen all... ( added 1 year 338 days ago.)

Thanksgiving Week Extravaganza of Blunders. Every Thanksgiving I take a few days off to travel back to Chicago to visit family and friends. These trips are important as they reinforce the fact I can’t handle a busy congested area of the country as I did when I was a younger man. They also... ( added 1 year 354 days ago.)