A Flying Cow, Venison Revenge and a Little Wine Served up for Readers. I know everyone is waiting for milk prices to start falling but this is ridiculous. In Manson Washington, a young, married couple had their minivan crushed when a 600-pound cow landed on the hood as they drove through the scenic area. The couple... ( added 2 years 1 day ago.)

Bigfoot, Restroom Antics and a Real Hunting Dog Make the News In the great wilds of Ridgway Pennsylvania, a hunter has taken a picture of what he believes is a Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as they are known by well wishers. The photo which shows something looking akin to a semi-hairless bear was immediately... ( added 2 years 8 days ago.)

Mona Lisa, Crunched Cosmonauts and Fleas are Top Blunders. From Paris comes an explanation of why Leonardo DaVinci's famous painting of Mona Lisa appears to have no eyelashes or eyebrows. A Parisian engineer spent 3000 hours using special spectrum analysis to uncover what he believes to be the true reason... ( added 2 years 11 days ago.)

A Personal Blunder, a Python and Tobacco Spitters in the News I have to be fair in all of this. If I make fun of other people in the news then I have to make fun of myself when I deserve it. Since I brought this up on my radio program, one can determine this was a news piece so you all might as well get a... ( added 2 years 15 days ago.)

Bad Meat and Phony Meat Steers the Week's News I Love my meat. I truly do. I don't care if its steak, or pork chops or bacon or a rump roast. Meat is one of those things I thank God for every night when I say my prayers. In fact, over the years, I have kept a picture record of some of the best... ( added 2 years 36 days ago.)

Illinois Tollway Authority Worse than the Mafia The Chicago Sun Times, in my opinion the finest newspaper in the country, filed an interesting story about Illinois Tollway scofflaws. The report details how drivers who fail to pay tolls are finally getting pressured to pay their fees, fines... ( added 2 years 39 days ago.)

Google Moon Shot Contest Could Launch Lunatics Internet giant Google has created a new space race for all of us to get enthused about. That is if you get enthused about going to the moon when everyone knows the little green people are on Mars. The company which is built on trying to get... ( added 2 years 50 days ago.)

Dumb and Dumber Criminals Make the News It must be a full moon all over the country because my internet news travels have found enough dumb criminals stories to cover the top of my desk. Lets clean them up. In Englewood Colorado, a bank robber must really have been out of cash. Having... ( added 2 years 53 days ago.)

Atomic Bombs and Animals Lead the News This Week From nuclear bombs going for a joy ride, to a kidnapped cat, a millionaire dog and a moose on the loose, the news this past week has shown that the world we live in is a very strange one indeed. Let's take a look at some of these stories that one... ( added 2 years 59 days ago.)

Mike Fak's, Blundering Through the News. Sept. 5th Welcome to another edition of the news according to the knucklehead. Now I will follow some basic rules in these columns as I make light of the events in this world. Anyone in the public domain by their choice is fair game. If a person gains... ( added 2 years 65 days ago.)

59 Years Old and Still Laughing... Sort of. Well another birthday has hit me square in the eye. I’m not sure what it means to be 59 years old since I don’t have enough active brain cells still working to fathom what reaching this age signifies. I do know, like everything else I am not happy... ( added 2 years 94 days ago.)

The Great Catfish and Shrimp Mystery Well Illinois Senator Dick Durbin is having a time getting the Federal Government to crack down on food items coming from China. Durbin says there are too many agencies all with different rules regarding importation of food stuffs and so it is... ( added 2 years 122 days ago.)

Father's Day; Remembering the Tough Guy This Father’s Day I would like to tell you a story of a man and his family whom I have known for many years. The man, born in 1920, was one of five children in a broken home. Growing up during the depression, he was forced to quit school after... ( added 2 years 155 days ago.)

The Morning the Phone Rang When a writer faces personal tragedy, the only thing we know how to do to cope is to write. This little story was written the morning I received the phone call that my mother had unexpectedly passed away during the night. You know the call is... ( added 2 years 193 days ago.)

Valentines Day Should Last a Lifetime I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Let’s look at this honestly. Valentine’s Day is just another of those materialistic holidays invented by retailers to try and create a need to spend money to prove one’s affection to a spouse. The truth be... ( added 2 years 270 days ago.)

What if the Government Took Over Baseball (Satire) Former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell warned baseball owners at their quarterly meeting that if players and owners don't cooperate with his investigation into steroid use in baseball that the U.S. government might step in. I'm not certain... ( added 2 years 291 days ago.)

A Cardboard Box for a Home The December winds blew hard and cold at the farm on top of the hill. The two kittens huddled against each other by the back door of the farmhouse. They were trying to catch a little of the heat escaping from the bottom of the door before it was... ( added 2 years 330 days ago.)

The Christmas of 1960 In October of 1960, my dad took the plunge into becoming a homeowner. We had been Near North residents in Chicago since I was born, but the neighborhood surrounding Wrigley Field had slowly grown too dangerous to raise a family. When it got to the... ( added 2 years 345 days ago.)

CNN's "Combat Hospital" a Remarkable Program that Elicits Deep Feelings If you have ever read any of my work you know I am a harsh critic of television in general. From time to time there is a program that gives me hope that television hasn’t turned into a vast wasteland of inane garbage that we mindlessly use to kill... ( added 2 years 360 days ago.)

The Television Wasteland Part lll. Shopping Networks and Infomercials This is the last in my series on television. Oh, there could be a great deal more grousing about all the inane shows we get to pay top money to see but I think it’s time to put the typewriter away on this issue and focus on something more... ( added 3 years 38 days ago.)

California Cell Phone Ban gets Poor Reception from this Writer When I first heard about California contemplating a cell phone ban while driving, I was surprised. I don’t place much stock in the people of that state having as much common sense as we Midwesterners do. I mean, how can you consider people who... ( added 3 years 51 days ago.)

Should Anyone Care What Celebrities Think? I find the searchwarp site a most fortunate medium for a person like myself. As a columnist I have just so many inches on so many days to tell everyone about everything that moves me to words. This requires I “cull" the field when choosing topics... ( added 3 years 52 days ago.)

The Television Wasteland. Dumb Commercials and Stupid Shows. Whether you use a dish or a cable, the price we pay for the garbage we are currently having sent into our homes just makes me want to fire everyone in the whole television industry. I currently have cable and my 60 channel compendium of potential... ( added 3 years 57 days ago.)

The Dogs in my Life My first dog was a mutt. Actually all my dogs were mutts, but since I am Croatian and Irish with a smidgeon of Polish ancestry in me, I suppose I also am a mutt. I don’t find any necessity in having purebred dogs as pets. I’m not against that... ( added 3 years 63 days ago.)

Murphy the Cat: Remembering a Best Friend When readers drop me notes or call me about something, I make a little note on the old floppy disk. Eventually enough information or common remarks from many of you cause me to try to render your thoughts into a coherent article. One of these days... ( added 3 years 64 days ago.)