5 Reasons Why I Refuse To Turn 30 I'm supposed to turn 30 years old this month. But I think I'm going to refuse and stay 29 another year or so. 'Why', you ask? Well I'll tell you why... 1. By the time my Father turned 30 he had a great job, a beautiful wife, a nice home, 2 1/2... ( added 45 days 9 hours ago.)

5 Surefire Ways To Nab The Girl of Your Dreams I constantly overhear guys asking for advice on how to land that special girl that they have been eyeing for months but have so far had no success in dating or even starting a conversation with in most cases. I overhear these conversations... ( added 49 days 9 hours ago.)

Top 5 Reasons Why I Blog I blog, and I'm not ashamed of it. Sure it's addictive and I could probably put the time I spend on it to better uses like showering, eating, or going to work. However I feel that being smelly, malnourished, and unemployed is a small price to pay... ( added 52 days 11 hours ago.)

If I Lose My Job Blame Ashley Tisdale & Twitter There was a time when I swore that I would never get on Twitter. I just didn't see the point. Why would anyone want to sit around all day reading about what other people were doing in 140 characters or less. I was far too busy with work... ( added 60 days 12 hours ago.)

5 Things I Learned From Twitter (In Under A Week) I recently decided to give Twitter a try. Facebook had become too involved for me and I figured that 140 characters or less was right around the ideal amount of interaction I was looking for from strangers online. So I signed up. And like most... ( added 72 days 10 hours ago.)

3 Ways to Keep From Killing Your Co-Workers Have you ever had one of those days when you understood why postal employess show up at work with Uzis and spray the whole mailroom? Have you ever prayed for the freedom to commit just ONE murder so you could show your boss just what you thought... ( added 74 days 10 hours ago.)

It's All Your Vault:My Take On Buying A Bank With so much talk about banks being bought and sold in the news lately I decided that maybe I should get involved in this whole bank business. After all I have about $17.43 saved up and I've been wanting to invest it. Up until now my investment... ( added 1 year 30 days ago.)

You Can Lead A Horse To Church, But You Can't Make Him Pray... For years I have been warning my fellow Americans about the ever-growing epidemic of devil worshiping horses that is sweeping our country. Of course, everyone just laughed at me. "Imagine," they said, "Mr. Ed in leagues with Lucifer. It's... ( added 1 year 38 days ago.)

I Think That Pirate Just Swiped My IPod I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that when you woke up this morning being kidnapped by pirates probably wasn't on your list of Things to Worry About. Don't beat yourself up over this. Many Americans are blind to threat that pirates have... ( added 1 year 53 days ago.)

I Think I'll Send the Economy a Get Well Card From bits of news I pick up while flipping between Law & Order, Project Runway, and Hannah Montana I gather that the economy isn't doing so well. I don't really know what's wrong with it, maybe it's got that new flu bug that's going... ( added 1 year 57 days ago.)

Ask Timothy Ward: Racist, Recessions, and the Crisis of Midlife Hi I'm Timothy Ward, licensed advice columnist and avid liar. Daily I receive countless emails and letters from real people with real problems just like you. I throw away or delete most of these letters and emails because, quite honestly, real... ( added 1 year 105 days ago.)

Great Coloring Book Rebirth I bought a coloring book yesterday from Wal-Mart. I hadn't colored in years and I got the strangest urge to do so out of the blue. I also bought a 24-pack of Crayola crayons. The box says they are non-toxic which is a relief. I just wonder who... ( added 2 years 115 days ago.)

5 Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Day Job Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly dream about it, but that's about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inevitable. I, Timothy Ward, however am a master at defying the inevitable. I stare 'The Inevitable' in... ( added 4 years 31 days ago.)

The Bare Truth About My Butt Quiz Forget about the SAT, never mind the FCAT, and remove forever from you mind any thoughts about the ACT. All these test pale in comparision to the examination that I just failed. Failing those test may have minor repurcussions like never making it... ( added 4 years 141 days ago.)

5 Surefire Ways to Ruin Any Website Owning a website gives you certain rights. For example, you have the right to plaster your URL all over the doors and windows of your SUV in hopes that someone in one of the 7 cars you pass on the way to work will get the urge to visit your... ( added 4 years 216 days ago.)

3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Nonetheless... ( added 4 years 216 days ago.)