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The Ben Jones Express: Where Ben Jones Expresses his Very Ben Jones Opinions!Ben Jones (6,751) ![]() ![]() Ben Jones ![]() Too-Write! Michael Jackson has died: The King is Dead!Posted Thursday, June 25, 2009 (8 days 3 hours ago.) Viewed 5,059 times. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop and arguably one of the greatest entertainers and performers of all time has died at the age of 50, after suffering cardiac arrest.
Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman Devin Gales would not confirm Jackson's identity but said that paramedics had attended an address corresponding to the star's home at 12:21pm and the person was consequently taken to UCLA Medical Center. Attempts were made to resuscitate Michael enroute, however he arrived unresponsive at the Medical Center and was pronounced dead at 2:26pm on Thursday 25th June 2009. Michael's father Joe Jackson told E! Online he had been contacted about the emergency but would not confirm specific details at this stage. "I am in Las Vegas, but yes, people in Los Angeles called me and are with Michael and tell me he was taken to the hospital," he said. "I am not sure what's wrong. I am waiting to hear back from them." A large crowd is gathering outside the Medical Center to pay their respects to the deceased pop star. Michael Jackson was on born on August 29 1958, the seventh of nine children. He started performing when he was only 11 years old as part of the very successful family group "The Jackson 5". Michael went on to even greater fame and fortune when his solo career took off in the late seventies and throughout the eighties with phenomenal successes like Off The Wall, Bad and of course Thriller, the best selling album of all time. Michael was due to start a keenly awaited concert tour in London, his first in nearly a decade, comprising of more than 50 shows world wide. Organises of the concert had stressed that a previous postponement of a month had not been related to rumours of Michaels poor health. In recent times Michael's incredible string of pop hits, music videos and astounding live performances had been overshaded by his escentricities including multiple plastic surgeries, dangling his children out of windows and off balconies, purchasing the bones of the Elephant Man and of repeated accusations of child molestation which culminated in charges being laid in 2005 for which Michael was eventually aquitted. No matter what you thought of Michael Jackson himself, there is no doubting the impact he had on people all around the world, from all walks of life. Jackson is destined to be remembered for his incredible contributions to music and the entertainment industry. Michael had an innate ability to combine music styles and genres and consistantly provide uniquely Michael Jackson creations that transcended generational barriers. He will be remembered as one of the truly greats of all time, and likened to The Beatles and Elvis Presley; forever immortalised for their creative genius. In memory of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. Will you miss Michael? Have your say below... Permalink Comments (95) Where Ignorance Is Bliss, 'Tis Folly To Be WisePosted Tuesday, June 16, 2009 (16 days 23 hours ago.) Viewed 1,068 times. I don't believe in climate change
Or in the dangers of passive smoke I don't believe that guns can kill Or the economy is going broke I don't believe in mental illness Or people who don't believe in God I don't believe in evolution Or that horses should be shod I don't think we should immunise Or rape victims be allowed to choose I don't believe the world is round Or that it's safe to eat genetic food But I do believe in burning witches And sending them straight to hell And I do believe in using torture If it stops a tyrants spell I do believe in taxing taxes And running cars on gas And I do believe in beating seals And watching their last gasp I do believe in terrorists And giving up my rights I do believe in paying more To let others live in fright Now you may say that there is hunger And that we have a part to play But I assure you, my girth is growing For I eat well, every single day You may say that child labour Is a cruel and moral wrong But check out my new nike's They were going for a song You may say the water's rising That it's impossible to miss But I truly do not see it For my ignorance is bliss... Permalink Comments (39) The Punishment: A Childrens PoemPosted Tuesday, October 14, 2008 (262 days 1 hour ago.) Viewed 2,260 times. The little stick got up and looked around
Still dizzy from its fall The world now looked so very strange Out of the tree, the stick felt small From way up in the branches The grass had looked so green Now upon the ground he stood To realize; it was muddy and unclean The stick took stock and stood stock still Then turned round and round and round And wondered why he'd ever wanted To leave his cozy twig like town What to do and where to go The stick cried out in fright All alone in the big bad world With not a friend in sight In the tree things had been simple And the stick now wished for home But it could not climb back up the bark So like a match; it struck out upon its own With a final sob and a big deep breath It put the matter from its mind And headed down the nearest path While making record time. Now Record didn't mind this much Since he owned the only watch Besides it gave him lots of time To sit upon a rock in his Scottish frock Soon the stick came upon a bend To find a fork sticking from the path And wondered why they'd used this thing When spoons are better by half With a shrug of his wooden shoulders The stick stopped pondering the whys And took the high road on the right That headed for the skies But before too long the stick got dizzy And it's wooden ears began to pop So rightly it decided to retrace its steps And back to the fork it hopped This time down the left most path The little stick did run And now that it was exercising It was starting to have some fun As he jogged and ran along He noticed a strange new smell And turning round another bend He saw the surf, the sea and swell In awe he stopped, rooted to the spot And then he saw high tide Who sat among the crashing waves And smoked a funny pipe Said High tide to our little stick "Yo dude, how are things today?" Said little stick in return "Much better, I really like those waves" Said High tide again to the stick "Then why the long, long face?" Said little stick in return "For a skinny twig it's common place" They chatted awhile then said goodbye And the stick went on his way And as he trotted through the sand He saw D and E shells along the bay As the afternoon began to darken And night time to approach The moon rose above the horizon And the starfish to encroach Our poor little stick was frightened For he'd never seen creatures like this And he bent his stubby legs and huddled And crouched and prayed and wished But the starfish didn't hurt him They'd just come to have a look At the amazing little walking stick Who now kneeled and cried and shook "There, there, little stick", they said "We are all your friends, No need to start the water works Now make the tears all end." So the stick got up, for he'd realized That these guys were not so bad In fact after just two small bites He knew - they were the best he'd ever had With new found joy and a big fat tummy And not a starfish left in sight The little stick set off again, To find a place to spend the night A short ways further down the beach He found a group of other sticks All lying comfy close together In the sand between some bricks With youthful glee he let out a cry And charged up to the ledge And waved to all his new found friends From that dangerous, narrow edge And in his happy, joyous mood He failed to see the rope That tied together all the sticks And bound them without hope Right then a hand on high swooped down And grabbed him round the middle And shoved him with the other sticks So tight he could not wiggle Now this is where we end our tale Before the sticks all burn But hopefully from the things he did A lesson you will learn Don't run away from home at all And don't go eating all your friends Or you will surely meet your match And end up burning at the end... Permalink Comments (31) The Day Dream Coach: Daydreaming Makes Me Money!Posted Wednesday, September 24, 2008 (281 days 23 hours ago.) Viewed 503 times. I was busy at work the other day; you know, daydreaming, when the fire alarm went off. A very annoying and disruptive sound I might add. However my cat-like reflexes and lightning fast thought processes kicked in to ensure that I was the first to run screaming hysterically down the stairs and out onto the street.
I probably don't need to tell you that everyone in the building was very impressed with my reaction time, the intensity with which I could scream and my ability to take stairs five or six at a time.
The truth is I never take chances when it comes to fires, spiders or sales people. Which brings me to what happened while we were all milling about the street; talking about that crazy guy that went running through the offices during what turned out to be a fire drill. I was hopping patiently from one foot to another, waiting for someone to reset the alarm so I could casually and confidently rush back up the stairs to the toilet, when a woman approached me.
Now I've got all the time in the world for people, except the kind that want to talk to me about something. Sure enough this opportunistic lady was a sales person. More to the point, she was a life coach wanting to sell me on her particular brand of coaching techniques and services.
Being the good sport that I am, I tried to surreptitiously shuffle away from her while refusing to look her in the eye; to no avail. She was a pretty good shuffler herself. Well it occurred to me, there are a lot of people out there teaching sales techniques, life coaching, positive personal improvements and other equally useless skills, but there's no one doing what I do. And like a light bulb falling from a burning building, it hit me. I can be a new kind of personal coach. I'm uniquely skilled, the first and only of my kind, in fact you could probably say I am the future hope of all humanity. An annoying noise interrupted this revelation and I realized that the woman who had approached me was still talking about personal grooming and hygiene. Talk about a one-track mind.
With a slightly forced smile I let her know that I was already pretty well perfect. This really should have been obvious to someone claiming to be a "life coach". Then I returned my vast and powerful mind to the important task of visualising how my new career would pan out. Yes that's right, I started daydreaming again.
Despite what you may be thinking, my daydreaming was actually very apt to the situation. I've decided that my new career is going to be in the one area I've always excelled; thus I was daydreaming about being a Day Dream Coach.
Now I've got hundreds, maybe even thousands of hours logged as an experienced and practiced daydreamer. So it seems to me that I'm perfectly suited to coaching others in the ways of personal visualisation; in teaching them the very techniques that I've spent so long mastering myself. I don't like to brag, but I'm going to anyway.
When it comes to daydreaming, I'm a level ten Zen master who's gone double diamond with a twist of lemon. Through positive waking visualisations I've saved the world from countless invading aliens, created the most fantastic gastronomical delights, I've been a secret agent, made more money than even I care to image, and generally lived a pretty well rounded life.
The very least I could do, which is what I'm all about anyway, is help others realize their potential through the power of daydreaming.
Sure, it won't come cheap, but then anything worth doing is worth paying me a lot of money to do. So if you are like so many other pathetic individuals in this world; without a purposeful life, down-trodden, a complete loser; I urge you to contact me about my powerful and completely safe daydreaming techniques.
These incredible techniques are guaranteed to help you visualise improvements in your life: you'll imagine you are more popular, stronger, taller, maybe even good looking and all for a low introductory price of a lot of money.
I hear the questions echoing and bouncing around your empty mind. Questions like "What if I don't have an imagination?", "Am I such a loser that even you the great Zen master of Day Dreaming himself can't help me?".
Fear not worthless mortal, your powerful and mighty Day Dream Coach has the answers or at least can dream up the answer for you.
However instead of doing something positive for you like teach you to do it yourself, I've decided through the power of waking visualisations that the best way to help you is to sell you a three pack of my own tired, dried and used up visualisations.
Select from such titles as:
So in summary; send me money if your life lacks meaning or for that matter if it has meaning.
While I can't guarantee that I'll immediately do anything to help you, I do give you my word, as the first ever Day Dream Coach, that I will immediately start day dreaming about what to do with the money you just sent me, thus furthering my already impressive portfolio of day dreams and increasing my potential earnings exponentially. It's a win/win scenario, both of them for me.
Now let's get to your first daydreaming lesson...
Now you see how worthwhile, important and valuable it was to send me that tiny pittance of an investment which was barely equivalent to the mortgage on your house. Right? I'll just imagine you said "YES!". Another happy customer!
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