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Oy, Vey! -
 - Jackie Papandrew (338)     Jackie Papandrew   I was in a public restroom the other day, doing what one does in such places, when I realized that civilization - even the fairly savage form of civilization that has existed since Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at the Super Bowl - has officially ended. I didn't even see it... ( added 22 hours 26 minutes ago.) |
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Presidential Ideas if I run for the Oval Office. -
Mike Fak (3,164)    Mike Fak I talked last month about running for President of the United States. As gas keeps climbing along with everything else, the government comes out with a report stating inflation is only .2 percent for last month so I have to start giving serious thought to throwing my stocking cap into the ring. I... ( added 1 day 18 hours ago.) |
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Outta My Way Martha Stewart, Here I Come -
- Teresa Ortiz (2,799)  Teresa Ortiz  So my friend forwards me The question of the day; she had to or else her belly button would have unscrewed and her butt would have fallen off. It's hard to believe, but it's true--it said so right at the bottom of the e-mail! The question? "Are you a Martha or a Maxine?" Gee, I don't... ( added 2 days 7 hours ago.) |
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I Should Have Gone To Bed -
- Alan Rogers (28) It was 9:30 in the evening when my stomach began to growl and complain of emptiness. There's a Subway Sandwich Shop on the corner of our street, and the cool nights here in Arizona make it an enjoyable ten minute stroll. I never walk fast, but my stride is smooth as yogurt without the fruit. I... ( added 7 days 20 hours ago.) |
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International Starwars Day - May the Fourth be with you! -
Ben Morrish (696)   Ben Morrish Yes, it's May the Fourth, the most appropriately dated International Day of all time - International Starwars Day: May the Fourth be with you ! Starwars has been one of the biggest, if not the biggest, cultural phenomena of the last 31 years. Since its release in 1977 people have... ( added 13 days 14 hours ago.) |
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Frustrations of a Beginning Comedian -
Jerry Corley (8) Yesterday, I received a call from a beginning comedian who I saw perform at a comedy class graduation show. She was stressed, “I did my first show at an open mic and it didn’t go that well. I’m supposed to do one this week and I’m thinking of canceling. I don’t feel good. What happened?" She... ( added 14 days 12 hours ago.) |
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All True Top 10 Inventions of All Time - Because Sliced Bread Ain't All That -
Ben Morrish (696) Ben Morrish When people are particularly impressed with a particular invention, they often say "wow, that's the best thing since sliced bread". I've never understood this, as sliced bread really isn't that amazing when you think about it. We've had bread for millennia , and knives too. We can easily slice... ( added 19 days 17 hours ago.) |
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Sammon Semen -
John Sammon (2,224)  I have a new plan to repopulate the universe in my own image. Aren't you tired of everybody looking different and having different opinions than you, always complaining and squabbling? Look at this election. Aren't you sick of it? I think I can remake a new universe in my own image and achieve... ( added 12 days 16 hours ago.) |
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When Your Ears Get Hairy -
John Sammon (2,224) God has little ways of hinting at you that your time on earth is running out. Little subtle ways. Tiny nuisances that say, you’ve been pretty arrogant up till now, but let me show you this. It’s just a little thing. But it will cause you to think, why? What’s happening? I know you won’t like it.... ( added 19 days 15 hours ago.) |
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How to be Happy -
George E Lockett (114)  George E Lockett The secret of how to be happy is based in the words to be. It is all about being true to your own nature and honouring your dreams and aspirations. Happiness comes from within and you have the freedom to choose to be happy in any moment of your life. Happiness is not dependent on what is... ( added 12 days 16 hours ago.) |
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Management Jokes -
- flashG (63) On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?" The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $... ( added 17 days 2 hours ago.) |
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Relationship Jokes - by flashG -
- flashG (63) Dear Tech Support Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable... ( added 17 days 2 hours ago.) |
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Very Funny Toilet Jokes !! -
- flashG (63) I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?" I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!" And the other guy says: "So what are you up... ( added 17 days 2 hours ago.) |
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Blundering Through the News -
Mike Fak (3,164) Mike Fak With my official career as a newspaper pundit now over, I can turn to more interesting activities such as telling the news the way I see it. Although a freelance columnist and not a newspaperman per se, I was still constricted by such tangibles as truth, accuracy and reliability that always... ( added 263 days 14 hours ago.) |
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In Pursuit of a Killer Kitchen -
Deirdre Reilly (408)  Deirdre Reilly (Or, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, with granite countertops) We are now in the process of re-doing our kitchen, and frankly, it is driving me crazy. Someone said to me recently, “I realized I only had two kitchens in me," and I now know what they mean. It is an experience to... ( added 1 year 234 days ago.) |
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The Television Wasteland. Dumb Commercials and Stupid Shows. -
Mike Fak (3,164) Mike Fak Whether you use a dish or a cable, the price we pay for the garbage we are currently having sent into our homes just makes me want to fire everyone in the whole television industry. I currently have cable and my 60 channel compendium of potential entertainment is a joke. Half the channels are... ( added 1 year 246 days ago.) |
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All True Horoscope - Accurate 365 days a year! -
Ben Morrish (696) Ben Morrish The All True horoscope includes several advances over the old-fashioned conventional type you can see in many magazines and papers. Using amazing techniques developed through centuries of patient study by men and women all over the globe, we have been able to not only increase the accuracy to... ( added 27 days 15 hours ago.) |
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Holiday of the Heart -
Jackie Papandrew (338) Jackie Papandrew Now that football season is finally over (YEAH! Oops, did I say that out loud?), it is time for American men to focus on something far more important. It's almost Valentine's Day, fellas surprisingly, it is falling on February 14th this year, just kind of snuck up on you, didn't it? If you have... ( added 95 days 21 hours ago.) |
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The Power of Pigskin -
Jackie Papandrew (338) Jackie Papandrew In celebration of the end of football season (yeah!), here's something I wrote back in August, at the beginning of another season of insanity... I suppose it's far too late to point out that I am definitely not ready for some football. I doubt even Hank Jr. and all his rowdy friends could come... ( added 102 days 19 hours ago.) |
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Crime and Punishment -
Jackie Papandrew (338) Jackie Papandrew I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out -- Rodney Dangerfield Every once in a while, in a blinding moment of clarity that fortunately doesn't last long, I realize my family thinks I'm utterly insane. Such a moment occurred just the other day when we gathered to watch a... ( added 114 days 22 hours ago.) |
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Cruise Control -
Jackie Papandrew (338) Jackie Papandrew If the Good Lord had wanted us to eat sensibly this time of year, he wouldn't have invented the cruise ship. It must have been divine compulsion that drove my family and a couple thousand of our closest friends to set sail recently on an after-Christmas cruise in the Caribbean. It's not that we... ( added 126 days 18 hours ago.) |
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Rompin' Rover Resolutions -
- Jackie Papandrew (338) Jackie Papandrew I hear tell the road to hell is paved with good intentions And Mama my intentions were the best Randy Travis in "Good Intentions" Mark Twain once suggested that the second week of January is a good time to begin paving hell with all those "humbug" resolutions we make on New Year's Day. This year... ( added 130 days 20 hours ago.) |
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The Night I Didn't Learn How to Belly Dance -
- Teresa Ortiz (2,799) Teresa Ortiz It happened in a flash - no hope of salvation. There I was, on the dance floor for the entire world to see. (Okay, so not the entire world, but maybe the first 250.) It all started when my husband (he was my boyfriend at the time), and I went to our dear friends' engagement party. This... ( added 145 days 9 hours ago.) |
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Since When Did I Become A Grumpy Old Man? -
Kevin Dwyer (150)  Kevin Dwyer Something insidious seems to have happened as I have got older. The world as seen through the prism of popular culture continues to be dumbed down. Stupid seems to have become mainstream. This appears to have occurred both in general and business society. Now, it may well be that I am just... ( added 314 days 2 hours ago.) |
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Old Age; Pondering Toothless Business Opportunities -
Mike Fak (3,164) Mike Fak Although from time to time I have received more response to one of my columns, I have never received more feedback asking when I was going to update everyone on what happened to me at the dreaded extractor and how I was doing. Rest assured I am absolutely miserable. Oral surgery is one of... ( added 330 days 12 hours ago.) |
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224 Articles Total in this category |
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