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Spiritual Interpretations of Everyday LifeElsabe Smit (405)    Elsabe Smit   http://www.mypurpleblog.com How to have a New Year free of stressPosted Tuesday, November 17, 2009 (3 days 20 hours ago.) Viewed 1 times. At the time of writing this article, the year 2010 is just over 6 weeks away. That will be the beginning of a new decade. It feels like yesterday when we were celebrating the new millennium and the birth of a new world. What happened to your New Year's resolutions for 2001? And for the subsequent years? Has your life improved significantly over the past decade as a result of your New Year's resolutions and all the changes you have made in your life? Has your life become completely stress-free, happy and abundant? I think I know the answer to my question, even if I don't know you. The same answer applied to me for many years while I was just plodding along and living my life. Or at least I thought I was living my life. At the time I thought that life was what came my way, and what I made of whatever came my way. I was passive, and at times I really felt like a victim. I had various life experiences that shook my belief in myself. I wondered about the reason for my being here. I often felt astonished at how cruel people and life could be. For one, my own mother could not bear the sight of me. That was one of my first lessons in this life - stay away from your mother, and if you have to deal with her, make sure you try and please her or bear the consequences. If she had treated all her children the same way, all the fingers would have been pointed at her. But she treated my sister and brothers in a different way, which clearly meant that I must have done something very nasty to her. It took me years to realise that the way my mother behaved towards me was one of the most significant lessons I had to learn in this life. I do not mean that in the sense of having made a mistake and having had to bear the consequences of my actions. My lesson was in that my mother played a significant role in me acknowledging my own true value. Her behaviour towards me resulted in much introspection. From this I learnt that the value I attach to myself does not come from other people. My own value comes from me appreciating who and what I am. That insight was the first and most significant in my life. The moment I understood exactly what role my mother played in my life, I saw other key players in my life in a different light. Slowly I came to understand that there is a hidden pattern in my life - and in the lives of other people. The more I delved into this, the more I discovered a different reality that made complete sense to me. My own research has uncovered a massive body of knowledge that I started to apply in my own life. I came to see more patterns, more processes, more relationships between people and nature. I became aware of a different reality. I learnt that some things happen to us because they are inevitable, while other things happen to us because they are part of a much bigger plan. I learnt how to distinguish between the things I had to change and the things I had to accept. Another big consequence for me was to see how my fear of the future first got diluted and then disappeared. I am now in a space where I can have New Year's resolutions based on a certainty and a sense of knowing. This gives me a focus for my future, and it places me in charge of what will happen to me. I am 95% sure where I will be this time next year. I can work towards what is inevitable for me, and be excited about it. The 5% uncertainty is, in a way, also in my hands. That is a margin I can comfortably live with. I do not need to wait for the New Year to make any New Year's resolutions. I simply allow my resolutions to bubble up, and then see how they materialise. Of course this reduces my stress level significantly, and as a result I am blessed with a healthy body. Where any part of my life is not perfect, I can look for the imperfection and find the beauty in it, without fear or guilt. My New Year's Resolutions always happen, because I am in charge. -------- Elsabe Smit is a professional transition coach, helping individuals and businesses to achieve their personal and commercial objectives. What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment? Visit her website for details on the SMIT-method for stress relief. 
Permalink Comments (0) The Truth About Stress ReliefPosted Tuesday, November 10, 2009 (10 days 14 hours ago.) Viewed 2 times. Is life stressful? Yes, of course. Are there ways to relieve stress? Yes, of course. For most people the way to relieve stress is to take a tranquilliser, a sleeping pill, a cigarette or a drink of alcohol. Do any of these crutches relieve stress? No, they don't. They simply dull the symptoms of stress. And the more people rely on these chemical crutches for stress relief, the more they get stressed, because now their bodies have to fight the stress as well as the chemical imbalances. How is stress defined? If you do a search on the internet, you will either find many causes of stress, or an acknowledgement that it is not possible to relieve stress. I do not agree with either view. There are not many causes of stress. It is possible to define stress. Is for example moving house stressful? Yes, and no. For some people moving house is quite exciting, for example two people in a relationship who move in together, or a family moving to a larger house. For other people moving house is quite stressful, for example moving into a care home or losing your house and moving into rented accommodation. Or is getting a divorce stressful? For a man who has to pay a large amount of maintenance it could be stressful. However, if the same man was abused by his spouse, the divorce could actually be a relief. You will find long lists of so-called causes of stress everywhere. None of those life events are really causes of stress. They are all symptoms of stress. Then what causes stress? Stress is nothing other than an inner division or inner tension. The level of tension depends on how the person perceives the situation. Where a person has one view of themselves and they get opposite information from the world around them, this causes division and tension. The inner division is like stretching a rubber band to its limit. While the rubber band is being stretched, you experience emotional and often physical pain. This pain can be dulled by chemical substances, but it does not go away. The rubber band keeps stretching. If you ignore that inner rubber band, the rest of your body tries to come to the rescue. What is the result? Physical dis-ease elsewhere in your body. Because your body is a fully balanced mechanism, until you ignore that balance and suppress the signs of imbalance. What happens when that rubber band snaps? You have a nervous breakdown, or a mid-life crisis, or some serious physical illness. Does that resolve the stress? Of course not. Now you are stressed out as well as physically or mentally unwell. How can you avoid the consequences of ignored stress? The first step is to acknowledge the stress. Where you experience the consequences of stress, you need to recognise that something is off balance. The next step is to do some inner exploration to determine what is causing your internal division. This tension is invariably something that you have a perception about. The only way to relieve your stress is to change your perception. Does this mean you are always wrong and therefore you always have to change? Of course not. This is not about being right or wrong. This is about outgrowing a belief system and adopting a different belief system at a higher level. The stress happens when you deny the need to change, and use your entire body and all your emotions to resist the required change. Life has a way of forcing us to change if we refuse to do what comes natural. And how do we react? We grab chemicals and search for someone to blame. Neither of these solutions work. The only solution that works is to take ownership of your situation and understand what needs to change. Then change yourself and see how the situation resolves itself. This takes courage, but that is what we are here for. It is possible. -------- Elsabe Smit is a professional transition coach, helping individuals and companies to achieve their personal and commercial objectives. What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment? Visit www.elsabesmit.com for a new modular course that will equip you to deal with any stressful situation.
Permalink Comments (0) How to Love Your RelativesPosted Friday, October 23, 2009 (28 days 21 hours ago.) Viewed 7 times. I come from a family of special souls. We are as different as chalk and cheese. The chalks have beautiful colours. The cheeses have a wide range of textures tastes. Together, we make an interesting, tasty and useful combination. There is nothing that brings out the best in people like a family crisis. This is when we stand together and support each other. We form a wall between us and the rest of the world, and we protect one another's interests. We provide emotional support and at times financial support. We have meals together when we can. We stay in contact, unlike other families where siblings disappear for years without a trace. There is also nothing that brings out the worst in people like a family crisis. This is where we each show our true colours and tastes. Yes, we all have true colours, because we all have some chalk in us. We all have the gritty bits that taste like sand. We all become the piece of dust in another's eye. We also have our own tastes, preferences and ways of doing things. We know who will choose heads and who will choose tails in bets. We know who will complain about the outcome and who will shrug it off and get on with life. Have you noticed how you will tolerate much more from relatives than from strangers? This is because we all intuitively know that at some level our relatives have a special bond with us. As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. We have very special relationships with our relatives, whether we choose to label these relationships good or bad. The purpose of these relationships is always to teach us something about ourselves that can only be learned and resolved with Love. Our families are masters in the art of teaching us about Love. They either show us love when we need it most, or they highlight the part of ourselves that we know and appreciate least when we do not love ourselves. Some people place a high value on family. They may be seen as busy-bodies by those who place a lower value on family. Where family does not take such an important place on a person's list of values, they may be seen as cold and uncaring. The only way to have a perfect family is to have both the chalk and the cheese, because they both have a purpose. Without that, there will be no balance. No matter what happens, my family are perfect for me. -------- Elsabe Smit is a professional transition coach, helping individuals and companies to achieve their personal and commercial objectives. What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment? Visit www.elsabesmit.com for a FREE new start audit and a FREE Food for Thought subscription.
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