Just My OpinionsJean Horst (1,109)    Jean Horst    How I Honor My Dad This Father's DayPosted Sunday, June 08, 2008 (27 days 2 hours ago.) Viewed 459 times. I'm taking care of my dad now. He would hate to hear me say that. The aging process has been hell for him and he's fought it with all his strength. He's become more accepting now that he can't win, his sharp, inquiring mind increasingly trapped in a failing body. Arthritis is in control of his choices now. The once active, endlessly exploring person becoming content to explore in his mind through television's depictions of far-off places and people. I don't mean to be maudlin or make you feel sad for him. He would hate that too. Plus, I wouldn't want you to think of him that way either. He is one of those people I wish every child could have for a Father. Those who had a great dad, would still be blessed to make his acquaintance. I love him dearly, you can tell. He was one of those rare parents who saw and understood the value of empowering his children to leave him and grow beyond him. He wanted us all to be set free when we left his house. He never fed us guilt trips or tried to make us feel beholden to him. He is so proud of our accomplishments. Proud that a man from the farm with an 8th grade education raised educated children who went out and became successful in their work and with their families. He was never one to lecture or pontificate. But he was one for conversation and discussion. I was astonished to find as an adolescent that other kid's parents did not ask them what they thought about world events or spiritual things. It was a regular occurance at my house. I have strong memories of discussing Watergate and astronauts on the moon with my dad, as well as talking about the latest thing he'd read in his Bible. I was astonished too that they were not included in family discussions, not trusted to learn to handle money or jobs. I began to see at that early age that I had been incredibly gifted. I was launched into life by my dad's example. He fiercely followed his gut instincts. He has not allowed conventional wisdom or stilted tradition to dictate his decisions. He was unafraid to pray and strike out in the direction he felt was revealed. He'd swim upstream if he had to. Time has proven his decisions correct to his many doubters, though it may have had unintended consequences. I'm his youngest and when in my first year of marriage, I moved halfway across the country, I saw it turn his face gray with worry. But he never said anything negative. Just, "If that's what you think you're supposed to do..." He visited my growing family often and was an enthusiastic supporter of our putting roots in a new place. He winters with me now in the warmth and all he ever says is, "I knew you'd do fine." Lately, I've talked him into trying electric scooters and letting me take him places in a wheelchair. I think he's been surprised that he feels empowered by them instead of diminished. Surprised that using the assistance is allowing him to continue exploring life and learning instead of making him feel dependant. I hope so. It's hard on me to see him controlled by aging joints and muscles while his mind is still strong. Hard on him too. I thought he'd live forever. In some ways, the gradual slowdown has been a blessing. It's opened my eyes that the end will come sooner rather than later, so I'm thinking of things I want to be sure to say to him while he's still here. He's been awkward in expressing his emotions, so for the last several years, I've been making a point of always saying "I love you" at the end of every phone call, hugging and kissing him at every parting. At first, this caused consternation on his part. Patting me on the shoulder, saying "Me too" and "Same here" on the phone. Gradually it has grown on him. Last week he volunteered, "I love you" first! I dread our final parting. So I'm determined to have no regrets, he's not one for much sentiment but he's given me so many gifts. The life example, the faith in me, the faith in God, the adult friendship. I will honor him the very best way I can: by passing his example to my children, modeling for them as he did for me. Believing in them and launching them off to fulfill their life's purpose. That's what he would want. 
Permalink Comments (21) The Christmas StoryPosted Sunday, December 16, 2007 (202 days ago.) Viewed 664 times. "Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14 "For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end." Isaiah 9:6 & 7 "But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of this father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, his kingdom will never end." Luke 1:30-33 "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you; You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests." When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. On the eighth day..he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived." Luke 2:1-21 "After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh." Matthew. 2:9-11 All Scriptures NIV
Permalink Comments (11) What Makes A Mother?Posted Tuesday, May 01, 2007 (1 year 66 days ago.) Viewed 930 times. I'm a lucky girl. You see, I have two Mothers and every year on Mother's Day, I remember them both and send cards and notes to both of them in gratitude for all they have helped me become. I was born in a rural area in a farming community. My mother taught me the difference between an iris and a daffodil. She showed me how to plant a garden and a tree. She taught me how to keep the whites from turning pink in the wash and how to cook a pot roast. She modeled calm in the midst of the chaos that is a family of eight. She showed me how a quiet spirit brings respect from the most bombastic person. I grew up in awe of her. I was so different in personality and gifting than she that I thought I could never be like her. I talked too much, I talked too loudly. I could never just sit and "take" injustice. I became defensive and sometimes offensive in my quest to be taken seriously. I got older and married a truly wonderful and patient man. But I still struggled with the feminine ideal of my mother and my childhood and the aggressive, outgoing personality I had. I was frustrated and felt stifled. After a year of marriage, my husband and I packed up and moved halfway across the United States. Not only was it different geographically - it was a cultural world away! From the farm to the city; from the Northeast to the Southwest; from the cold to the heat; from the taciturn to the gregarious. I was in heaven! I felt like I had come home - people who were like me! People who smiled at each other on the street! People who liked strangers! People from all over the world in one place enjoying the differences instead of picking at the unusual. And then I met my second Mother. She taught me how to put more than 3 pieces of flatware on a table setting. She taught me how to decorate a room for a party and how to put people at ease. She taught me how to accept myself and be at peace. She taught me the difference between being a doormat and being gracious from strength. How to tell trendy from classic. How to spot a great bargain at a resale shop in the midst of junk. She modeled how to constructively "disagree" with ones husband. She showed me that giving creates a healthy flow through life, hoarding brings stagnation. She taught me how women of great faith change their marriages, their children, and their world. She showed me how to accept that God loved me as a special and unique creature and I could love that person too. In doing so, I could serve without being diminished. My first mother has 6 children, 12 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren. We all adore her. My second mother has one natural birth child that she had to give up for adoption and has never found. But I have lost track of the number of girls like me that she has mothered, and she is equally adored by us all. I know from experience that motherhood takes many forms. I would not be who I am without both of these women. Each of them gave me unique and vital parts of themselves. I call, write and send each of them "grandchildren" photos. And each year on Mother's Day, I send notes and flowers and special things to both of them. Now at the mid point of my life, I see that I am a product of two Mothers. I am blessed beyond words. Two Godly and loving women with different personalities and lifestyles have given me irreplaceble parts of themselves. Mothering is more than giving birth and raising a child by blood or adoption. For some women, mothering is their spiritual gift and a way of life. How blessed I am to have had more than one Mother.
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