The Inner VoiceKen McCreless (484)    Ken McCreless   http://www.kenmccreless.com Oh Really?Posted Wednesday, May 14, 2008 (4 days 6 hours ago.) Viewed 2,467 times. I was trying to make a point with a co-worker the other day when I asked him this question. If you had been alive during the years prior to the American Revolution what would you be doing? He responded by first laughing, then saying, "I have no idea." I told him I think I would be running my horse hard, pulling a wagon loaded with my printing press and enough supplies to publish a couple of more issues of a rebellious press. I would like to think that my family and I would be heavily involved with the transporting of slaves to freedom. I can imagine myself at the drafting of the Declaration of Independence and vehemently demanding that all slaves be freed before the words "all men are created equal" could be considered for inclusion. The reality would likely be closer to that of Nathaniel Hawthorne's "Young Goodman Brown." He was drawn to a gathering in the woods during Puritan times, thinking his Faith would sustain him through the harrowing ordeal. It didn't, or, should I say, she didn't. Everything he knew as solid and beyond reproach was destroyed by the revelation of its true nature. I could really relate to his plight. After his return to his reality he found it to be permanently and horribly altered. Evil was everywhere and in everyone. I first read this story in college, so, it was not what destroyed my innocence. My ability to look on the bright side was stripped away from me at an early age and my need for an on-demand alternate reality took over. Not such a bad thing, really, but it sure can earn me a prize for sarcastic skepticism. God bless those who can so clearly see the good in every situation- you know who you are. Needless to say I tend to look at something in it's most natural state, that is, with no embellishment of the real condition. I actually remove some of the outer wrapping, mentally, to get a look at what is, in my opinion, the real story. At times I find myself having to look away from someone because of the way they make me feel. More often than not, it is the opposite. My father used to chide me to "stop making people feel uncomfortable." That was never my goal. I look at people through lenses designed to remove any facade. But what can I do with this? How can I benefit humanity? I could be a super hero! I could be "Reality Man!" My super power that I used the most would be similar to the one used by "Ghost Rider-" the "Penance Stare." Except my power would be called, "Oh Really?" "Help! Help! My baby is trapped in that car that's being swept away by flood water!" "Oh Really? Is that really your baby, or are you just suffering from Munchausen by Proxy? Why are you so needful of attention that you would sacrifice your child so?" "I'm not... but... I... It's true! Oh, Thank you, Reality Man! You've saved me! Now I can live my life to the fullest and never cheat on my taxes!" I would then assume a Superman pose as the fire department rescued the child. "Reality Man! Reality Man! Help! That man is trying to rob that lady!" "Oh Really? Is he really robbing her or is he only trying to extract more super delegate votes so he can effect positive change?" "Oh, I see! Thank you, Reality Man!" "You're Welcome, Senator." "I, umm... uh... I'm the next President; actually." "Oh Really?" 
Permalink Comments (10) Who Needs Drugs?Posted Tuesday, May 06, 2008 (11 days 11 hours ago.) Viewed 86 times. Greetings Fellow Travelers... I like to go walking at a nature trail close to the house. I have written about it before. It is a beautiful trail that winds in and around a forest type environment. There are all kinds of flora and fauna. The flora actually comes right up to the asphalt trail and consists of many kinds of vegetation mixed with all kinds of wildflowers and flowering plants. The bird life there is phenomenal. The number of cardinals that live there might be in the hundreds. There have been times during my walks that I have seen trees ablaze with the red feathered creatures. Today I saw one that must have been a young male. He still had some of his brownish/grayish feathers on his wings and underbelly. He had skittered from a tree that I was passing and flew to another tree a few feet away, landing on a branch about three feet off the ground. He was only about four feet in from the trail, and he watched me watching him as I passed by. What an amazing experience. The trees at this location are various in type and size. There are trees that are in excess of 50 feet high. At one point I was approaching the part of the trail where some of the trees were especially high. I wish I knew more about trees so I could tell you what kind they were. All I can do for now is tell you that it was a tree, and that it was very tall. I began to notice a sound, like a large waterfall. Now, there is a creek next to the trail that runs for a few hundred feet and I thought, at first, that the overflow that fed the creek was being assaulted by a rush of floodwater- there were a few storms in the area. This got my attention. I saw the top of the tallest tree moving and I stopped and watched it for a moment. I must have looked like Tom Cruise's character in "The War of the Worlds," staring up like I was- I certainly felt that way. It was swirling around like hundreds of gorillas were jumping from branch to branch. The scary part was there were no other trees moving. Then all the trees were. All at once there came a wall of cold air. The sun drenched asphalt I was standing on was hot from the sun, a stark contrast to the chilled wave splashing over me. I studied the movements of the trees to make sure I wasn't witnessing the birth of a tornado. It turned out to be just some turbulent winds, or maybe it was a storm trying to grow. Nothing came of it and I finished my walk. A moment or two after I resumed my walk I had a thought- I'm glad that air is invisible. My mind began an experiment of imagining what I had just witnessed as if it were streams and channels and eddies of visible, substantive, ectoplasmic material striking and bending the branches. In a flash I was the central character in a dramatization of the famed Edvard Munch painting "The Scream." Of course, I was surrounded by lush vegetation and trees, and shared the trail with half a dozen striped lizards and several birds of various kinds all flitting about as if nothing were wrong. But, just like coming around the last turn on a roller coaster, the one just before the queue line full of eager soon-to-be riders, it was over. A blackbird flew by and landed on a tree much like the young cardinal mentioned previously. I was kind of hoping he would look over at me and say "Nevermore," but he didn't. There was no "bust of Pallas," no "chamber door,"and it really wasn't a raven, anyway. My thanks to Edgar Allen Poe, just the same, for his poem "The Raven," from which these words were quoted. I fired up my Nissan Sentra and rolled home. At least it's a six speed, standard shift. Mario Andretti couldn't believe the luck he was having, not losing a race since back in...
Permalink Comments (10) Dash and the Inordinate OrdinancePosted Sunday, May 04, 2008 (14 days 7 hours ago.) Viewed 754 times. Greetings Fellow Travelers... Well, my pre-trial hearing is on June 16 th . My ordeal with the city continues. First it was the pickup truck with expired tags. Though it ran well and was moved around to mow the grass, it needed some exhaust work. I wanted to get an upgrade , but the city was too impatient. It seems there was an ordinance passed, which I didn't know about, that says you cannot have a vehicle on your property that does not have current registration and inspection. Period. This Gestapo-esque rule was enacted to do away with someone who would park a car on their property and just leave it. Some folks would even attempt to repair their vehicles and leave the thing in pieces. This was not the case with my truck. Through emails I was told the vehicle COULD NOT REMAIN ON MY PROPERTY. I used all caps because that was how the email came. The email mentioned the city's website, which I went to. The site claimed the vehicle could not be seen from the street, so I moved my truck, which I call "the Beast," to the back yard. I emailed the guy who tagged my truck and told him so and that I got the idea from the city's very own widdle web site. His response- using upper and lower case this time- said that the truck had to become current on tags and inspection, or it had to be removed. Remember that previously he had said it COULD NOT REMAIN ON MY PROPERTY. So I took it, under it's own well-running power, and had a muffler and some brake work done. I wanted to do it myself but I would not be able to do it in time for Generalissimo City Guy. On the very day I took my truck to the shop we received a visit from the dog catcher. Someone had called in a complaint that my dog, a Golden Retriever named Dash, was loose and aggressive. He has been on a 60 foot cable run in my fenced back yard for quite some time, not loose, and he is never aggressive unless you are a bird drinking from his personal kiddie pool. I asked how he could be loose and on a cable run at the same time. He said that was true, but asked to see his rabies and city tag. Dash gets the best food available. Dash, in fact, is spoiled rotten. Dash, also in fact, had missed his appointment with the vet and his city tags had expired. So I was ticketed. It was quite a jump from righteous indignation to "oops, my bad." I waited the appropriate number of days to make my appearance before the judge. I made my way to the Municipal Court and waited in line, humbled and contrite. It wasn't exactly a short line but it did move along nicely. The twenty-something girl behind the glass took my two citations and walked away. After a couple of minutes she came back and I expected her to tell me to take a seat in the court room and wait for my case to be called. It had been more than twenty years since the last time I had to go to Municipal court. I have never been arrested or even accused of a crime in my life. She came back and said, "Sir, you're in the wrong court. You have to go to Environmental Court. Do you know where that is?" " I have never even heard of it," I said. She told me where it was. I knew the building. It was another place I had not been to in over twenty years. The last time I was there you had no worries of encountering any kind of court. And who ever heard of an Environmental Court, and what does that have to do with a dog? After plunking more money into another parking meter I finally found the place. It wasn't listed on the buildings directory but had an outside entrance. I walked into the room. To the left was a walled-off office area with another glass partition, like a doctors office. Off to the right was a walk through metal detector. Behind that was a hallway leading off to the right and next to it was a well armed, uniformed gorilla. I told the middle-aged, obviously under-worked with too-much-time-on-her-hands lady I wanted to see the judge. I had seen an "all right, something to do" look on the two workers faces when I walked into the room so I was stunned when she took my two tickets and, after a minute, came back. " I'm going to set you up for June 16 th ." After a moment she gave me my copies and I left. My two Pre-Trial Hearing invitations. Sigh...
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