Leo-Ponder blogLeo Ponder (243)    Leo Ponder   How To Win An Argument With Your WifePosted Thursday, April 03, 2008 (91 days 7 hours ago.) Viewed 363 times. "I have to write an article." I argued. "O.K. a and an, that's two," she replied, now a little peeved, "Takes about two seconds, what else?" God , I hate it when women try to pull their education on me in an argument. O.K. , but she has descended into a writer's territory now. Us authors know about that kind of stuff. "But I don't know if I want to write about "an apple" or "a car," I prodded her. "Well, it depends if you are writing about any "apple" you have to use an indefinite article like "an" since "apple" starts with a vowel. But if you are writing about a specific "apple" you have to use "the" like in "The Apple in the Garden Of Eden." "Now can we mow?" Holy crap! Can you wait just a minute while I write that down. I might need that sometimes. Well, evidently she had been punished enough, which was evident in her next statement. "Besides I'm baking something you like very much," she teased. "A chocolate cake!," I almost shouted, losing my cool. "No" she grinned. My heart fell. " The chocolate cake," she corrected again. "Mind your articles" " The triple layer, double frosted, double fudge chocolate cake that I like" Now I was catching on. She lost that argument big time. Thinking about "The" Chocolate cake that was baking, I thought what ever happened to the sweet agreeable little girl that I used to sit with in the back seat of my 57 chevy, at the drive in movie (And for you read between the liners doing your little computing, I could have bought the 57 chevy much later and yes drive in movies were still around until about the seventies.) And what the hell did the Garden of Eden have to do with anything. That's just like women, they try to confuse you, but I have learned not to be confused. I can see past all that. I'm also sure of one thing, when Mother's teach their daughters to bake chocolate cake, it's for lots of reasons other than housekeeping. They know what they are doing. Men are going to have to learn some things other than driving tanks. Just then I ran out of gas in the middle of the lot. I was half through the lot mowing when my son drove up with more junk to store in my store room. "Why don't you build your own storage," I asked. as we struggled with an old torn sofa that would look better in the junkyard. "Gosh, Dad we don't have the extra cash until we build our home. "And when's that," I asked hopefully. "Oh, in about 2 years or so," he said nonchalantly, "Dad, could you help me with this car engine, it's pretty heavy" "How did she run out of gas," I moaned, to my wife, who had just received a call from our daughter. "I don't know," she said, "I would guess that a better way of saying it would be she used it all up" "But she's got a new car," I sputtered. "They don't run out of gas , do they" Standing in the middle of the freeway, holding an empty gas can, I'm thinking. Is this all fathers are for, to peddle gas on the freeway for my daughter, build storage buildings for my son and mow my wife's grass. My daughter had spun off after the fill up with a quick "Thank You Dad, you're the greatest" Shouldn't I get paid or something? It seems to be much cheaper to have your father bring you gas than to buy it at the station. I felt a little lonely on the side of this busy thoroughfare holding my empty gas can. "Why does he have to fill my storage up when they have storage all over town," I said to my wife. " Well we don't have too much in there." "I have lots in there ," I countered. "It's mostly junk, for example that old car seat you have in there takes up a lot of room." "That's not junk."I said. "It's the back seat from my 57 Chevy. Don't you remember the nights at the drive in in that back seat" "That wasn't me!," she turned around sharply. I never did sit in the back seat of a 57 Chevy with you" "You had a 65 Dart when we were dating." "'65 Dart!," I exclaimed. "Who did you sit with in the back seat of a 57 Chevy ?" "You," I screamed. "Wasn't me," she screamed back," Now who was it?" "I have to get back to mowing," I passed The chocolate cake on my way out. In my 57 Chevy seat in the now crowded storage, I was now completely confused. 65 Dart. Garden of Eden. '57 Chevy. The chocolate cake. What has happened to my memory? Am I getting senile? Any how now I'm sitting amongst my son's junk, My daughter's car is probably getting close to empty again, the mowing isn't finished yet, my wife is asking questions I can't answer and worst of all I don't know if I will get any of The cake. So I decided to write this article and here it is: "a" Well, I told you I was confused. " " 
Permalink Comments (12) Run Your Car With Water-- Yes, You Read It Right!Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 (93 days 9 hours ago.) Viewed 166 times. It's an amazing new (but maybe not so new) technology and there are already hundreds of cars running plain tap water in their cars! But it may not be so new as I mentioned, so I should start with a story my stepfather used to tell. Being a veteran of World War 2, when I was small, I used to beg him to tell me war stories of that great conflict. Amid all the tanks, artillery, and fighting I remember one story that stood out. He had filled the aircraft gas tanks with water! As a small boy I didn't see much action in that only that I was mildly amused and didn't see the importance, except it seemed a little odd. As I grew older I began to see the astounding implications of such a statement, and I began to question him more as the years grew. He never backed off from that statement and he was a very honest person. As the years went by I started investigating the possibilities. I found that this technology existed , at least since about the time of the hydrogen bomb discovery, but was never utilized, to its fullest until now, during the gas crunch. I suspect the oil and gas interests had something to do with that. (I have to honestly admit that I am more than a little concerned and a bit shaky while reporting this) Because after all my research, I can say that it is very feasible and is being used today by many, many people. Albeit quietly until now! Although the technology has been in the public domain for a long time I have found inventors that have researched this and are running water in their cars right this very moment! Although, some have patented their methods, the basic information is still in the public domain for any one to use. And here's the kicker, the parts can be purchased at any auto and home depot for under $150.00. Not being a scientist, I believe that this is an offshoot of the Hydrogen bomb and was used much in the war, as my stepfather said. Here are my reasons: It is called a Hydrogen Generator and it uses Electricity from the car battery to separate water into a gas called HHO gas (2 Hydrogen + 1 Oxygen) and the amazing part is that the end product after it is burned is H2O! (Is this the end of global warming and rich Arabs) One quart of water makes 1800 Gallons of HHO gas which can literally last for months. It improves emissions quality and saves money! It can be taken off your car for any reason and you can use plain gas It has even been rumored that the new car manufacturers will start producing this on all cars by 2012. That's a rumor that I would bet $100.00 on right now. When you see an ad from the car companies on tv about their new cars start looking for the words Hybrid and one carmaker has advertised a new "Hydrogen powered Car" coming in the future. It's strange that they don't say "water Powered car". I suspect that the car Mfg. are a little nervous about such a claim at this time, just like me! Remember Bill Gates started Microsoft in a garage. My idea is to not let the Arabs kill this because its not being touted as much as it should. Maybe we should write our gov't officials to show our support for this technology This could have enormous consequences for our society and our dependence on foreign oil. AS for me My cars will be powered by water in the near future as I won't wait for the enormous cost of a "factory hybrid" Another kicker, An astounding fact is that we could start making BIG,Yes I said BIG luxury cars again. Now that's my style! How about you! Thanks Leo Ponder
Permalink Comments (0) An Event Projection Calculator + Bonus Interview With Future World Renown AuthorPosted Tuesday, March 25, 2008 (100 days 12 hours ago.) Viewed 91 times. Recently, I have been inventing and studying a new procedure called "Event Projection." A really cleaner translation is "predicting the future". It's amazingly simple, and chillingly accurate. This method takes any "event" of today, or yesterday, adds a few ingredients such as: time, human traits, history, nature, etc., etc. and projects a probable end result for that event in the future. In other words, to put it simply, if you throw a ball in the air, you can safely (and accurately) predict the future of that event. The ball comes thudding back to the ground. Viola! Also, if you go into my neighbor's yard, you can accurately predict that Bonzo (that's my neighbor's psychopathic dog.) will be trying to dislodge a big portion of your rear from his teeth for the next hour or so depending on how good you are at jumping a six foot chain fence. That's figured thusly: Bonzo plus you plus time plus speed plus jumping ability equals how long Bonzo will be picking his teeth. Very simple. It's incredibly easy to see the end result of any event, if you train your mind to use the correct ingredients pertaining to that event. Coincidentally, I have been putting together a few event projections of my own. I'm just a little curious as to the state of the world and humankind evolution into the future so, without the boring ingredients, here is a very accurate projection of today's (and yesterday's) "events", in the form of newspaper headlines, for about the year 2050. Don't scoff at the accuracy. Remember Bonzo? Do you want to take that chance? HEADLINES-2050 (or possibly later) OSAMA SEEN IN MANCHURIAN OLD FOLKS HOME (LP-NEWS) Today a reliable source revealed the whereabouts of long sought after world fugitive. Osama Bin Laden. "He had been forgotten by the nurses and was found, bedridden, in a mummified condition", the source said. His son, Osama bin Laden Jr., speaking on a video from a cave in the Manchurian Mts., vowed revenge on the nursing home industry. Texas Congressman Ben Bush , long a champion against nursing home neglect and abuse said, "I'm with him on that one!" SPOTTED OWLS DESTROY CROPS (L-P NEWS) Thousands of spotted owls descended on crops from Iowa to Louisiana yesterday, creating havoc in the farm belts before retreating to the vast forests that now comprise their home. Stock futures dropped like a rock, from such a loss, as the President announced a deal with China for any extra rice they could send. An extraordinary side effect of the invasion known as the "Poope Kai Kai effect was also being carefully evaluated. Poope Kai Kai clouds had been noted as far as Washington, carried aloft by the prevailing winds. One angry motorist described the clouds as "S_ _ T from Hell" at a busy carwash. Non- plussed, Spotted Owl Advocates defended the owls, claiming they were returning fertilizer to the land for better crops. MAN FOUND WITH GUN EXECUTED TODAY (US News) After losing his appeal last week, Bill Brady Jr. was executed by gunshots to the head at 12:01 today. Gun control advocates wanted that style of execution to show the horrible effects of a bullet to the brain. It had been proven that Brady had the gun for over six months in his home. In a related newsbreak US NEWS learned that five more people had been arrested by the Fat Police for allegedly exceeding 200 lb. body weight, a capital punishment under the U.S. constitutional amendment b-406. Tobacco was also allegedly found on two of the pitifully overweight, which carries its own capital punishment. The police found old antiquated pictures of outlawed McDonalds and Burger King fries and hamburgers FLORIDA RE-ADMITTED TO UNION (L-P NEWS) After a long battle, Florida is finally a state of the U.S. Again. " It would have happened sooner," said Govenor Moses Bush, " But we just couldn't solve the question about counting the ballots for the annexation, until the "persona grata" method was introduced." We just had every interested voter line up in person on the interstate, "for" on the left side and "against" on the right. Very ingeniously designed by Bill Gates Jr. and a Gator neck from the everglades. A picture taken by satellite and tabulated by a Microsoft tabulation program solved it nicely (except for a few glitches, i e. people crossing the road, etc.) "These glitches are taken care of by our $39.95 update programs," said Gates U.S. CALLS FOR ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN CEASEFIRE (U.S. NEWS) Amid calls for a cease fire, the two Palestinians left surrounding Israel vowed to eradicate their enemy. Israel continued bulldozing the land since there has been no buildings there in the last two decades. The week in review HERDS OF MOOSE DIE IN PIPELINE MAZE IRAQ AGREES TO 50 MEGATON BOMB CAP DIVERS BRING UP CALIFORNIA ARTIFACTS FROM OCEAN BOTTOM ARABS CONSIDER U.S. OIL PLEA KENNEDYS ALLOWED BACK INTO U.S. TEMPORARILY ROSIE O'DONNELL SUES U.S. GOV'T FOR CHILDLESS LIFE GAY MILITARY ACCEPTS TWO BISEXUALS U.S. TROOPS SEARCH 6000 th CAVE ILLEGAL ALIEN BECOMES 12 TH GOVERNOR SENATOR SAYS WE MUST GET SERIOUS ABOUT CLOSING THE BORDER WITH MEXICO IN OTHER EVENTS OF 2050 (TX-NEWS) World renown author Leo Ponder was interviewed today on his 100 th birthday in a private nursing facility that he owns.He was asked what he attributed his longevity and success to, his reply was: "What does longevity mean? They won't let me have my Microsoft dictionary lookup and computer here" When asked about a headline in today's paper that Osama Bin Laden had been found in a nursing home, mummified., he said, "I'm busting out of here today!" Sensing senility, the interviewer decided to wish him a happy birthday and leave it at that.
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