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Maureen Thomson ⁽⁴¹⁴⁾ United States

Maureen Thomson

Lyssabeth's Bay Area Wedding Officiants

Cell Phone be gone!

Posted Thursday, November 12, 2009 (10 days 18 hours ago.) Viewed 882 times.

The topic of cell phones seems to keep appearing in my life of late, so here are a few thoughts.

First of all, I don't seem to get cell phone coverage in my new home in Manzanita, Oregon. If I go out onto my front porch and it's not raining, I can lean my body over the railing at a minimum of 45 degrees and get one bar (well, two bars if you count the one that sticks into my midsection because I'm leaning over the railing). This results in only about 50% of my calls getting dropped and the listener to catch about 40% of what I am saying. It also prompts funny looks from my neighbors, none of whom have been over with the much-anticipated "welcome to the neighborhood" banana bread. Hmmmm...

Calls to Verizon result in my being told that they will look into it and a reminder that "cell phone service is not guaranteed inside the house--that's why it's called mobile service" (No kidding--exact quote). Well, in their defense, you never see the "Can you hear me now? guy" asking that question inside someone's home--he's always traipsing about the country. But where the heck are all those people who follow him around--the ones who supposed to have my back? Doesn't even one of them want to call me in my house?

So in frustration, I turned off my cell phone, figuring I'd deal with the problem when I had time. Yesterday, I realized that I'd gone a week without even thinking about it. I turned it on. 10 messages--all from telemarketers. Nothing, by the way, from Verizon, who promised me over a week ago that they'd test the area for service and get back to me "within 2 hours to 5 days" with the results.

Last month, actor Hugh Jackman stopped in the middle of his performance of A Steady Rain on Broadway to admonish an audience member whose cell phone was ringing. "You want to get that?" he quipped in character as the accused no doubt, slunk into his seat in mortification.

Wow! I wish I had that kind of power! But that's not the point. The debate over the conscientious use of cell phones has gotten out of hand. Now states are looking at laws making it illegal to text while driving. Uhhhh....ya think? People yammer on cell phones on buses, the minute the plane lands, in public libraries, coffee shops when their table is 4 inches from mine, while driving, during sex (not that i know from firsthand experience but I can only imagine that nothing is sacred). And speaking of sacred, do people use their cell phones in church? Could it be possible that places of religious worship are the last bastion where these ubiquitous electronic devices are not permitted? Of course, you could try, but if Hugh Jackman can cause such a fuss, don't be surprised if the hand of God doesn't extend from above and hit your off button permanently.

I read a survey stating that 52% of people think it's acceptable to use a cellphone in a public place if it's a time-sensitive situation and one talks quietly. I agree. I also think I must interact exclusively with the other 48% of the population, who apparently eschew the notion of time-sensitivity and indoor voices.

This once again proves the dichotomy between common courtesy and common sense. People may state it's common courtesy to use one's cell phone judiciously, but in reality, people's lack of common sense permits them to assess nearly every conversation as time sensitive and their tone of voice as being well modulated at all times. Trust me, they aren't and it isn't.

So it appears that even I, the queen of Common Sense Courtesy, can't make a dent in people's inappropriate cell phone chatter. I don't have a big enough platform--although I am writing Hugh Jackman a personal fan letter TODAY. However, in a flaunt in it in your face attitude, I've decided to give up my cell phone for good. If I didn't need it for a week, I don't need it forever. To be honest, I do see the need for a cell phone occasionally. If I'm officiating a wedding, I'd need one in case of emergency en route; if my husband is running late, I'd like a call so I don't worry. If I'm in the aisle of Safeway wondering if we need eggs, I want to be able to call home and see if we have any. Note however, that I will not continue this call with a blow by blow description of the hot guy working at the bakery counter or a rant about the price of deli meat.

So Jeremy and I will share a phone (Jeremy being my husband and not the guy behind the bakery counter who truth be told looks too young for me anyway and probably spends all his time texting frosting recipes). And get this--we're even going to reduce our monthly minutes to the bare bones I've-got-an-emergency level. Whah-ha-ha...I'm giddy with the mutinous nature of the whole thing!

I refuse to embrace rudeness even if society accepts it as status quo. Now some would call me a stick in the mud, out of date, obstinate, a fossil, even a killjoy.

But that would be rude!

Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants serving California , Colorado and Oregon .

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Want the Absolute Best Customer Service? Learn to be a Good Customer

Posted Monday, November 09, 2009 (13 days 19 hours ago.) Viewed 13 times.

You've all heard it.

Customer satisfaction is our #1 priority
No one beats our Customer Service...NOBODY
The customer is always right.

While it's true that every business--regardless of its size--needs to make customer satisfaction its priority, that does not give those those of us who are on the receiving end of service (and that would be pretty much everyone on the planet) carte blanche to forget the basic concepts of Common Sense Courtesy.

In my other life--when I am not traveling the world expounding on the paramountcy of the principles of common sense courtesy, I am a wedding officiant. Now, anyone in the wedding business who stays in it for long discovers that they must pay particular attention to delivering supreme customer service. After all, the wedding day generally ranks up there with the top five happiest days of a woman's life (along with the day her child is born, the day she actually weighs what her driver's license states she weighs, the first day her soon-to-be husband takes out the garbage without being nagged and the day this same hubby-to-be joins a religious cult that prohibits channel-surfing.)

However, at some point, there comes a time where even service providers with the highest standards of customer service must draw the line. Case in point (and I swear I'm not embellishing any of the details for the sake of a good tale):

A bride contacted us in October seeking our top of the line ceremony. She is planning a small, but high-end wedding at one of San Francisco's most prestigious hotels. We spend some time on the phone discussing her needs. A complimentary meeting is set up with one of our officiants. The hour-long meeting is held, the bride loves our officiant and is set to book, but there is a problem with the hotel. She might need to change the location. (We later found out that a contract had never been signed with the hotel). She asks us to contact her in several weeks.

Four weeks later, we make the call. Her phone number has been disconnected. We send an email, to which she responds a week later--sans apology for the inconvenience of having to track her down-- with her new phone number. She indicates that the date of her wedding has changed. Can we still accommodate her? Calendars are checked. Yes, we can help. We issued a contract.

Two days later, we hear from the bride. Oops, she forgot to tell us--she no longer needs our Premium ceremony; she now wants a romantic elopement just for the two of them. Our potential of booking of a $619 premium ceremony shrinks to a $199 elopement. We shrug and smile--that's how it goes and it is, after all, her day. It should be however she wants it. We reissue the contract. The elopement ceremony, however, is not supposed to include an in-person meeting with the officiant--which this gal has already had. Oh well, that's business. We eat the cost.

Several more weeks goes by. We don't see a signed copy of the contract returned to us. We email her a reminder to return the contract. She emails back. She has changed her location. Can we accommodate her? We sigh (out of earshot from the bride because, after all, we want to provide topnotch customer service and sighing and eye-rolling--even when warranted--do not fall under the category of Common Sense Courtesy) and reissue the contract for the new location.

More time passes. We get a call. Bride now wants to add guests to her intimate elopement. Can we do that? She is happy to pay for the additional guests. We upgrade her to an Elopement with Guests, invoice her again and (you guessed it) reissue the contract.

More time passes. She calls again. Some family members can't make it on the date established. She'd like to be wed the week before. Is this possible? "But of course," I smile graciously, wondering why I am cursed buy the gods. After screaming into a pillow for several minutes, I reissue the contract.

This week, she emailed us. She found out that her popular outdoor location requires a permit!!! The nerve! She is not paying to stand in a public park for 15 minutes and exchange vows. What can we offer her for free? I explain that while we can often suggest locations, that we are ceremony experts, not location experts. The sites of which I am aware that have a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, upon which she insists, will not accommodate 25 guests without a permit. California is broke, I gently explain--if they can charge money for something, they will.

I tell bride she needs to research locations on her own and that for every change she makes to her wedding day going forward, there will be a $25.00 administrative fee. I hate doing this; this is not how I do business, but so far, I estimate this wedding has cost us approximately $168.72 in administrative overhead and I haven't even paid my staff yet for performing the wedding.

There is no way around it, people--this woman is rude! She attempts to hide this rudeness behind a veneer of ignorance ("I didn't know I needed a permit..") outrage ("I can't believe that they actually charge for that!") and adolescent giddiness ("Oh, sorry...you must be getting so sick of my flightiness...tee-hee." Duh...ya think?). But the bottom line is that she is exhibiting neither common sense (doubtful if God endowed her with any) nor courtesy (which thankfully can be learned, and which is where I come in.)

So, some Common Sense Courtesy rules for being a welcome customer:

Be aware of the role of the business person. They are working very hard to give you a good service at a fair price. Expect them to share their skills and knowledge with you, but do not expect that they can go outside of their realm of expertise to assist you. In other words, don't ask the man who comes to install your cable to unclog your toilet.
Hold up your end of the bargain. If the business needs something from you, provide it in a timely manner. Your house painter can't start his job if you haven't told him the color of the paint you want.
Respect the time of the business person. You are not their only client. If you are 20 minutes late for your hair stylist, don't be surprised if they have to rush through your haircut, or refuse to accept you at all. Being late isn't fair to the next customer or to the service provider.
Pay your invoices when they are due. If you can't, then don't make the business chase you. Call and set up a payment plan.
Don't play Let's Make a Deal. Trying to negotiate a lower price is fine for some services and you never know until you ask, but be reasonable. Do not approach a vendor who offers a service priced at $600 and insist that they offer it to you for $250. Better to ask, "Do you offer any discounts?" or "Is that your best price?" than insulting the business by offering a ridiculously low-ball offer.
Always speak politely and respectfully. If you're not given satisfaction, ask to speak to someone in authority, but always politely and respectfully.
If you must change your order, do not approach the business with a sense of entitlement. They will most likely work with you, but remember that changing an order requires time invested on their end. You may need to pay a token amount for this. In fact, it might be nice to offer this. Chances are, the vendor will appreciate your offer and go out of his or her way to accommodate you, even if they tell you the additional fee is not necessary.
And speaking of appreciation, how about showing some? A simple "thank you" when the waiter fills your water glass, the cashier hands you your change with a smile, or the grocery bagger carefully places your eggs on top of the cart piled with bags is a basic common courtesy. And if you want to do even more, consider sending a thank you note for services rendered. When my staff receives written thank yous, emails of appreciation or positive online reviews of their services, they are ecstatic. Your words are appreciated more than you know. Even more so your financial gratuity, if that's appropriate.

Exhibiting Common Sense Courtesy in your role as a customer will go a long way in insuring that you receive the superlative customer service to which a highly enlighten being like yourself is entitled.

Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants serving California, Colorado and Oregon.

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