Laughter - God's best medicine!

Michelle Mackin

Doctors, Thank You Cards and Health Insurance

Brainstorming Gives Me a Headache

I was taught that when I wanted to write creatively that I needed to write down my thoughts and run with it. They called it brainstorming and I am not so sure that you would want me to do that today. Brainstorming gives me a headache. Allow me to explain.

This morning I woke up brainstorming an article for SearchWarp. I just knew that I had to write something new and exciting. So, off to my computer I dashed. But, when I turned on my computer, I realized that I had to have my morning coffee with hazelnut before I got started. So, I went into the kitchen to start the coffee. 

But, when I noticed that there were a few dishes in the sink I realized that I needed to wash them. And, as I did the dishes it occurred to me that the counters needed to be wiped down, the floor swept, laundry started and the trash taken out.

While I was taking the trash out, I noticed that the rose garden needed to be watered so I went to get the hose and noticed that the sprinkler was still attached, so I watered the lawn and decided to pick some weeds.

It was only then that I remembered that I had neglected to start the coffee. Therefore, I went back into the kitchen, poured some water in Mr. Coffee, and went into the cupboard to get the coffee grounds, when I realized that I would need to buy some more coffee soon. So, I added it to my shopping list, along with butter, and sugar, and flower, soda, water, soap, canned goods, bread, cereal and other items.

When I finished making out my shopping list I knew that I would have to shower before I went to the store, so into the shower I went. When I was done with my morning shower I remembered that I had left the sprinkler running on the lawn so I went to turn it off and remembered that I needed to water the rose garden.

While I was watering the rose garden I noticed how beautiful the flowers looked and thought of how nice a bouquet would look on my kitchen table so I went to get some scissors to clip some blossoms. But, while I was retrieving the scissors I noticed some mail that I had not yet opened, so I opened it and found some bills that needed to be paid. So, I got out my checkbook and started writing out payments.

It was only then that I remembered that I had started the coffee, so I went into the kitchen to get a cup, but Mr. Coffee had already gone cold. I was about to start a fresh part of coffee, but remembered that the water was still running in the rose garden. I was about to turn off the water in the garden, but remembered that the laundry needed to be put into the dryer. I was about to put the laundry into the dryer and remembered that I was brainstorming an article for SearchWarp.

So, I went back to my computer and was about to start typing when I realized that it was about lunchtime and I had not eaten all day, so I went back into the kitchen to get something to eat. It was then that I realized I had a furious headache, so I went to get some aspirin, which I had neglected to put on my shopping list.

That is when it occurred to me that brainstorming gives me a headache.

A Letter For My Missing Father

Dear Father,

Well, Dad, I wanted to wish you a happy Fathers' Day, but I don't know where you are. In fact, I have never even met you. Oh, I have looked for you and searched for you, year upon year, to no avail. Where are you? Who are you?

I wish I knew what you looked like. I wish I knew the sound of your voice. I wish that you had held me and rocked me in your arms when I was a child. But, I have never known these things… I wonder what they would have been like.

I suppose, if you should ever read this, that you should know countless other men have tried to be my Daddy through the years. Some were cruel, some were mean, some tried to the best of their ability, and others didn't try much at all. Nevertheless, I suppose that there is no father like one's real father.

I often wonder if I will ever meet you. I wonder if you are married or if I have brothers and sisters. I wonder if you have been hospitalized or if you are in prison. I wonder too, if you are even alive. But, most of all I wonder if you ever think about me.

I have almost died… many times in my life. I have been abandoned and abused by men. I struggle with a terrible debilitating disease. But, none of these things have stopped me. I have three beautiful boys… young men actually. Two of them are twins. In addition, I am the proud grandmother of three beautiful grandsons. I wonder what I will tell them when they ask me about you. I suppose that I can always tell them that even though I have never met you that I have always wanted to love you and to be loved by you. I suppose I can also tell them that even though they have not met you, that they can still love you and hope that you could love them too.

By the way, before I have to go, I want you to know that today I have a Father who has promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I hope that you can meet Him if you haven't already. Because it sounds to me like maybe you needed a Father as much as I did through the years.

Flag Day - Observing the Red, White and Blue

When Not to Cuddle Your Man

I want to begin this article by saying that I have not always been a very affectionate person.  As a matter of fact, there was a time in my life when I could take it or leave. Chances were I would more often leave it than take it. I mean, really, getting all mushy and emotional just was not my style. Besides, men had a tendency to hurt you once you gave them your heart.

I have to admit, however, that something strange has happened to me since I have been married to my husband.  I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but, over the course of time I have found myself actually enjoying the moments when my husband will hold me, cuddle me and just run his fingers through my hair.

Recently, with my bad health, I had been spending days and nights on end in our spare bedroom, which we appropriately call our "medical" room.  The room contains my wheelchair and meds and nebulizer and, believe it or not, much of the paraphernalia you might discover on a visit to the doctor's office.  Hour upon hour I'll stay in that stinking room, waiting for my sugars to level off, trying to grasp my breath and regain my strength so I can once again acquire some semblance to a normal life.

Well, during this most recent bout, after about a week or two of feeling cooped up and bed bound, I just wanted to be close to my husband. So, in the wee hours of the morning I slipped into our bedroom and climbed in bed with him. He was sound asleep and I cuddled up next to him. His body felt so good next to mine as he instinctively wrapped his arms around me.

However, after only just a few moments of this my husband said, "Well, I've got to go."

"No," I protested, "Don't go."

And he stayed.

Now, before I tell you what happened next, I just want to assure you that my husband is a very affectionate man. He caters to me, and will even carry me in his arms when I cannot walk. He will place me in my wheelchair and take me around the house. He will bathe me, and even wash and brush my hair. He cooks meals, washes dishes, does laundry… He is absolutely great! The Lord has truly blessed me with him. However, he still does not do windows.

When it comes to holding me and cuddling me, he is the best. And for that, I love him dearly.

However, after he had lain by my side for only a short period of time he began squirming and once again said, "I've got to go."

I did not understand. Why did he have to leave? Why couldn't he just hold on to me like he usually would? "No," I said again, "Don't go."

"I have got to go," he informed me in a matter of fact tone.

So, I turned over and he got up and left the room.

Sometime later, I caught up with my husband over a cup of coffee that we always have in the morning at our bistro table on the porch.

"Why did you have to leave?" I asked. "I just wanted to cuddle with you."

"Honey," he said with an awkward smile, "I had to go to the bathroom."

"Well, couldn't you have just held me for a few more minutes?"

My husband grimaced and squirmed. "Nope," he said, "You know all those cherries the little old ladies at the church have been giving us?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've got diarrhea… and honey, I've got to go… again."

So, ladies, during those odd moments when you are really longing to be held by your man and he just gets up and walks away, remember… Sometimes when a man says he's got to go… he's got to go!

• Previous Posts:

• Doctors, Thank You Cards and Health Insurance
• Brainstorming Gives Me a Headache
• A Letter For My Missing Father
• Flag Day - Observing the Red, White and Blue
• When Not to Cuddle Your Man
• Memorial Day - A Day That We Should Never Forget
• Are You Transparent Or Fluffy?
• Miss California, Carrie Prejean, Falls Victim To The Gay Agenda

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