 Writers' Community! |
|
| Home Page Two Columnists Q&A Submit an Article FAQs Contact Author Login |
Character Building from KidsDiscuss.comJean Tracy (1,044)    Jean Tracy   KidsDiscuss.com Discipline Tips for Parents ~ 3 Mistakes and 3 SolutionsPosted Friday, November 13, 2009 (9 days 7 hours ago.) Viewed 605 times. Good discipline builds character in kids. Poor discipline does not. Notice the manipulation in the story below. Imagine your son returning his report card to his teacher saying, "My dad told me, If these grades don't improve, someone around here is going to get a spanking.'" And as he passes the report card across the desk, he whispers, "Teacher, it's you." Today I'll share why child discipline is so important and the discipline formula you can use to build character. You won't be spanking either. Before I do, you need to know that parents who don't discipline effectively make big mistakes. First Discipline Mistake Being a Doormat by Letting Kids Walk on You I once counseled a mother whose 14 year-old daughter told me, "I hate that stupid..." She called her mother the "b" word. Earlier her mother had told me, "I don't know why she disrespects me. I give her everything she wants. I'm always trying to please her." To build character, what did the mother need to learn? Second Discipline Mistake Being a Dictator Who Gives Orders and Lectures I remember a dad who lectured his son for hours. The boy would roll his eyes and tap his fingers. "Stop that!" yelled his dad who then preached louder and longer. To build character, what did his father need to learn? Third Discipline Mistake Being a Despot Who Threatens with Unreasonable Consequences Another dad screamed at his daughter, "You can't use the phone for 6 months. But he couldn't control his daughter's phone use when he wasn't home. He had loaded his guns with cotton balls. To build character, what did he need to learn? My Discipline Story: When I was a little girl, my older brother had been in a rock fight. I was there hiding behind a bush. Screaming filled the air as the other boy ran home to his mother. That night she knocked on our door. "Anthony only needed 3 stitches," she said. "I want you to know that he's alright." When the door closed, my dad spanked my brother and then pointed to me. "I didn't do it, Daddy," I cried. I got a spanking anyway. That memory sparked my interest in discipline, fair discipline. For over 22 years, I've helped parents discipline effectively. I can help you too. The 3 Discipline Solutions - The Discipline Formula First, be kind. Second, be firm. Third, be consistent. But how? Some parenting experts say the same thing but they don't tell you how to be kind, firm, and consistent. Kevin's Discipline Story Let's say, your Kevin is home alone because you're a single working parent. As you walk through the door from work, the TV shouts, "This game gives you hours of fun!" There's Kevin eating chips on the couch. When he sees you, he yells and points to the TV. "Hey mom, can I have that game?" "Did you do your homework?" "Homework's boring." "Turn off the TV." "Do I have to?" What would you do if you were Kevin's mom? As a Parent, You Have Discipline Choices. Consider These 3 Solutions Monitoring Kevin's homework is difficult because you can't be home right after school. And because you can't supervise his homework before you come home, I suggest you wait until you've been home for awhile. First Solution - Grab a cup of tea. Tell Kevin to turn off the TV. If you need to, stand between Kevin and the TV. Say nothing until he turns it off. That's being firm. Second Solution - Then get into the routine of sharing snacks with him while you relax and tell each other how your day went. That's being kind. Third Solution - Next, give Kevin some choices. Choices promote power. Ask Kevin, "Do you want to do your homework before dinner or after you wash the dishes?" Only give 2 choices. Whatever he chooses becomes part of his daily routine. His grades will improve too. That's being consistent. Conclusion for Disciplining Your Kids: There you have it. Be kind. Be firm. Be consistent. There's no need to be walked on like a doormat, lecture like a dictator, or threaten like a despot. If you follow these steps, you'll experience fewer arguments, more fun, and more respect. You'll feel loved by your kids, peace in your home, and confident in your parenting skills. You'll be building character too. JeanTracy, MSS, invites you to become your child's best reward when you receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Children by subscribing to her Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KisDiscuss.com Get your "Discipline Tips for Parents" EBook and get the best solutions for raising kids with love and character even when they are driving you crazy at: http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/discipline-tips-for-parents.asp 
Permalink Comments (2) 5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids RespectPosted Friday, October 23, 2009 (30 days ago.) Viewed 966 times. If you've been searching for a truly powerful way to get your kids to communicate with respect, now is the time to make it happen. Let the family meeting rules guide you. Look inside to find out how.
Let's pretend your kids, Jack and Jessica, bring up the problem Jack's having with the bully next door. As a family, gather around the table to discuss it .The family meeting rules will help you. First Rule - Listen with Respect: You and your children must listen without interrupting. The next speaker repeats what the first speaker said before offering his own thoughts. Let's say your Jack is afraid of the neighbor boy. He's big. He's loud, and he makes fun of Jack in front of all the other children. He calls Jack "shrimp" and "fatso." Jack runs home in tears while all the kids laugh at him, except Jessica. She runs home to be with Jack. Imagine Jack actually listening to Jessica's ideas about the bully. Jack will even prove it by repeating her thoughts. Second Rule - Speak with Respect:
Can you see Jessica, your chatter box, give a brief explanation of her thoughts? As parents, you guide your children to listen, take turns, and follow President Franklin Roosevelt's advice, "Be sincere, be brief; be seated." Consider pointing to a sign which says: "Listen! Repeat! Be brief!" You'll never need to nag when they break the communication rules. You'll just point to the sign. Third Rule - Discuss Issues Respectfully:
Give every family member a turn to express what they know about the bully. Find out what they think needs to be done. You'll learn important information. Watch Jessica as she silently looks at Jack while all the members listen to him speak. You've taught her to be respectful by letting him finish his thoughts. Fourth Rule - Vote for the Best Solutions:
Fifth Rule - Make commitments:
Conclusion ~ Respectful Communication within the Family: How do the above rules teach your children to communicate with respect? Kids keep quiet while another member speaks. They learn to listen. They briefly repeat in their own words what the member before them said. Then they take their turn to speak. They express themselves with few words. How respectful is that? Of course, you will need to decide whether to step in or let the children handle the problem. Maybe you'll talk with the bully or with his parents. Maybe the school authorities will need to help. It's your decision. Can you see how the family meeting brings your family together too? Members feel bonded within the family and protective of each other. They won't want their sibling bullied by another kid. The family meeting promotes their love. It teaches them to become confident communicators too.
Jean Tracy, MSS invites you to receive her 80 Fun Activities to share with your kids when you sign up for her Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com Pick up Jean's Family Meeting Diary at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd006 to note the issues you discussed, the fun events you planned, and the commitments you made while teaching your children respect, listening, speaking, and caring.
Permalink Comments (4) |
Archives:
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Home |
Page Two |
FAQ's |
Contact |
Terms of Service |
Article Submission Guidelines |
Questions & Answers |
Privacy |
Mission / About
Copyright © 1999-2009 SearchWarp.com, All Rights Reserved - SearchWarp.com is an IcoLogic, Inc. Company