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Asked by Paul Schroeder 246 days 9 hours ago.

Can you relate a joke that would definitely make even a lethargic audience laugh, aloud?



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E.G. : News from a North Vietnamese newspaper, Thursday, stated that a rooster, named Longo, legally and officially was married, to a chicken named Lucille, and that after the ceremony, during the honeymoon, contrary to popular expectations and presumed stereotypes, the chicken came first.

Answers to this question:
» Answer from Marlin Woosley Answer given 246 days 4 hours ago.
It was in the summer of 1881 in the town of Tombstone. A large three-legged dog walked into the Oriental Saloon. He stood up on his hind legs and laid his good foreleg on the bar.

The bartender said, "we don't allow yer kind in here," while reaching for his shotgun behind the bar.

Wyatt Earp had seen the dog come in and had left the Faro table. He motioned the bartender to stand fast as he faced off with the dog.

"It's my business to know what business strangers have in Tombstone," Earp said.

The dog met Earp's look with an equally unflinching stare as he replied, "Certainly, Marshall. I'm lookin' fer the the feller that shot my paw."

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 246 days 1 hour ago.
Penalty buzzer; three minutes in the penalty box and be quick to get off the ice!

» Comment from Marlin Woosley Comment made 245 days 15 hours ago.
Okay, I get it. Too much back story, especially if they're already lethargic.

You want the bull's eye with a quick shot from the hip even though the target may be way out of range.

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 245 days 15 hours ago.
The target is the comedy audience, always resistant to a facile, banal tale, and equally very hard to please.

E.G. :

"If it weren't for pickpockets, in New York, I wouldn't have any sex life, at all!"

"When I married my wife, she said that I was one in a million; boy, I found out later, that she WAS RIGHT!"

» Answer from Hilda Cang Answer given 245 days 20 hours ago.
At a " Liar Contest " that had attracted a number of professional liars to compete to be the winner of the year. First winner would get $100,000.

Every "liar" was trying his best to present the best lie he could and finally came Peter who stood on the stage and calmly he proclaimed " All my life, I have never lied to anyone ! "

He was the winner.

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 245 days 15 hours ago.
This MIGHT give a close friend, sympathetic to you, a brief smile, comparable to the expression for having gas , but a lethargic audience would only uncomfortably shift in their chairs and privately think:" What a useless, obvious and unfunny non-joke THAT was!"

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 245 days 15 hours ago.
"I walked into a General Store to buy stuff, but they wouldn't sell me anything, SPECIFICALLY"

» Answer from Marlin Woosley Answer given 245 days 14 hours ago.
   Selected as Best Answer!   
The phone rang yesterday and the caller ID showed it to be from the power company. I answered in a mimicked mechanical voice. “Your call is important to me. Please hold and I will take it in the order that it was received.”

OR

The phone rang yesterday and the caller ID showed it to be from a government agency. I answered in a mimicked mechanical voice. “I speak English so please press one. No necesita marque dos porque yo no hablo español.” (Hesitating between the sentences in quotation should bring a laugh then. The second sentence would be optional.)

OR

The phone rang yesterday and the caller ID showed it to be from a government agency. I answered in a mimicked mechanical voice. “To speak with me about Social Security, press one. To speak with me about housing assistance, press two. To speak with me about paying taxes please leave a message or call back later.” (Hesitation between each sentence in quotation should net up a separate laugh with the last sentence being the best.)


» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 244 days 5 hours ago.
Rachmunus

» Comment from Marlin Woosley Comment made 243 days 15 hours ago.
Rachmunus?

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 237 days 15 hours ago.
Rachmunus

» Comment from Marlin Woosley Comment made 237 days 13 hours ago.
What does Rachmunus mean?

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 237 days 6 hours ago.
pity

» Answer from Jennifer Stewart Answer given 245 days 13 hours ago.
No I can't.

» Comment from Paul Schroeder Comment made 245 days 3 hours ago.
Writing failed slogans for Special Olympics?

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