Concerning a happy marriage, what lessons have you learned?
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I remember being stopped and asked once, at Disneyland, by a graying and aged couple to photograph them, as they said it was none other than their fiftieth anniversary.
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I saw the way he held her hand and how they hugged and kissed as I struggled to find and frame the picture.
I wondered what wisdom and marital advice they might share.
My wife went over to speak with his wife to comment how sweet they looked together.
I returned the camera when he slowly made his way to me and I asked him the $50,000 lulu question:"What's the secret to being married so successfully, for so long?"
He looked confidential and wise.
"You gotta cheat", he whispered.
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First, it's easier to let the other person be wrong than to argue about most things.
Second, when he seems moody but says that he'll be fine it means leave him alone until he sorts things out. When he's ready, he'll talk to you. Fight your nurturing instinct to rush in.
Third, when she seems moody and says that she'll "be fine" you don't have long to figure out what is wrong. She isn't going to help because it's blatantly obvious to her what it wrong. The pressure gauge is about to red-line and there is no emergency release valve to avoid the explosion.
Fourth, keep what's between the two of you just between the two of you. With the exception of professionals, to share your troubles with others is to license them to meddle in what's between the two of you. It can only turn out badly when meddlers are minding your business.
I insisted that my husband promise in our wedding vows that we would always have fun. So far, so good... ;)
But matrimonial relationship is not just entertainment. It comes with lot of commitment and responsibility.
Well, of course, it's not "just" entertainment but I don't think I've ever seen a marriage break up because they were enjoying each other too much. I have, however, seen a lot of marriages break up because they let their life together become only about responsibility. Then they forgot why they'd become committed and they drifted away from each other and out of the marriage because there was no joy, no shared fun, no shared laughter.
I think this is an eternally debatable point that in a matrimonial relationship the only requirement is entertainment or commitment or entertainment plus commitment or entertainment re-enforced by commitment or commitment re-enforced by entertainment.
One can spell such marital fun, backwards, as, E-"NUF!"
There are times I can do my things and there are times he can do his things separately.
It should be fine !
Don't try to correct mistakes every time & Keep questions to the minimum.
The lesson i have learnt regarding happy marriage is that there should be mutual respect and reciprocal love to nurture and sustain marriage.Tolerance is another thing that promotes harmony in a marriage life.Spirit of forgiveness should be part of the guide principle of marriage life.
Marriage is also a learning process and a mixture of bitter and honey.It however commands social respect.
Both of us spend some time together and we also spend time separately doing what we like individually. We have common friend circle, but we also have separate friend circles. It is about defining boundaries, how much togetherness is needed between you two for it to be a healthy relationship.
Trust is another big factor. Sometimes even when I know that my husband is lying to me, I try and trust him. 95% of times, he comes back and tells me that he lied. Instead if I just start nagging him over small lies, it turns from an argument to fight and only turns bad. I have learned that we all do lie, there are always secrets that we keep from each other. I guess it is ok, unless you are not cheating on your spouse.
Total Answers: 7, Total Page Views: 617.A happy marriage has two elements, namely commitment and companionship; and an unhappy marriage has only one i.e. commitment. The element of companionship naturally leads to mutually satisfying entertainment. For the sake of commitment, if element of companionship is somehow missing, than devise ways and means to create it by mutual agreement. Since a broken marriage is worse than no marriage.
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