Asked by Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445)
Chiradeep - The Candles 31 days 21 hours ago. (More question by this person)

How do you counsel a really stupid & idiot person who attempted suicide for failing in every aspect of his life?

So many times we face this kind of people. But what to suggest. Suggestion cant really help them. How to counsel this kind of people who doesn't have brain to lead their life properly. Let's share our views then I thing we can come to a point of solution.

Answer from Robert Ogden ⁽²²⁷⁾ 31 days 18 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
God loves you and died for you. He even has a perfect plan for your life.

Encouragement and hope go a long way towards avoiding future suicide attempts. Connection with someone who has a working knowledge of scripture is helpful here.

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 17 hours ago.
Great! Thanks for the answer Sir!

Answer from Pedro Cardoso ⁽⁰⁾ 31 days 14 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
I'm not sure how you do it, but I'm positive you can't possibly do it by thinking about the person as "stupid and idiot". That's probably the kind of feeling that brings about his suicidal tendencies in the first place. Try to see the world from the person's perspective, if you really want to help!

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 31 days 13 hours ago.
Sir I think you misunderstood me. Its not my perspective. He is really stupid. That's the reality. And you have to answer how you are going to counsel him. I am giving a case, you solve it. I am a counselor myself. And I know how to view a person. But I want to know others view.

Comment from Gregory Lewis ^(1,502) 30 days 18 hours ago.
Being accusatory and judgmental doesn't sound like a wise counseling strategy, and especially when a person is contemplating suicide. I don't know how many people you have known that have actually committed suicide. I know exactly five. There would have been a sixth, but I grabbed the pair of scissors out of his hands as he was about to stab himself in the gut. He was screaming, "I'm stupid, I'm stupid."

So, I ask you...

- G

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 18 hours ago.
Again you misunderstood me. Let me put it this way. He has less knowledge of everything. And he is a failure in everything. How are you going to help him? Neither I am accusing anybody nor I have any view like that of anybody. I am just asking you a simple question.

Comment from Gregory Lewis ^(1,502) 30 days 14 hours ago.
Less knowledge of everything is ignorance, not stupidity.


One can't be a failure at everything if one has not tried everything.

Your question may be simple, but it is also ambiguous.

Skip the part about the person being "stupid," since that is a really poor judgment on the part of the "counselor".

Let's address the "failure": When a person perceives or mis-perceives they are a failure, it is accompanied by a sense of disconnection from society. Therefore, the important thing at a critical time (and I have worked as a crisis intervention councilor) is to maintain human contact with the individual until the crisis has passed. What you need to do is connect this person with resources that will help him or her establish a connection with society. There is no quick solution, only a chronic persistence of attention.

Also, if suicide is a symptom of depression, we know that drugs can be more effective than therapy, so one of your duties as a councilor is to connect the person with a psychiatrist. Failure to do so is neglect on your part.


Getting the language right is crucial when a life depends on it. You may assume your question is simple, but it is useless if it makes no sense. Also, simple solutions do not always follow simple questions.


- G

Answer from Lorette' Teal ⁽²⁰⁾ 31 days 13 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
First, this person may seem stupid to onlookers but they aren't. We are taught success principles by standards set by society. Society says that by a certain age, for instance, we should be married, or that we are too old to do certain things, or women would be better off by staying at home and raising their children instead of pursuing a career. We have all fallen into some norm/standard and felt badly when we didn't live up to that perceived expectation that may have been set by ourselves or by others. Because we are all wired differently, these standards will take on various extremes for each of us. I would tell the person who was so profoundly affected by their idea of failure, that we would be sitting in the dark today if Thomas Edison had not pursisted. In our most dire failure can also be found our greatest success, if it is only the fact that we at least "tried". A lot can be learned through our attempts in life, which also helps us to build our character. We learn what not to do next time through our mistakes. I would also encourage them to reach out to supportive others, seek counseling if necessary, so they prevent aloneness and self-condemnation. Life is not perfect and each person is actually a work in progress. We just keep getting better with time.

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 18 hours ago.
I really appreciate your answer maam. You really understood my mind and what I want to ask. Thank you so much.

Answer from Nenita Wells ^(2,071)
Nenita Wells 31 days 10 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
I would leave the counseling to people with expertise in this field, like you, Chiradeep. I would not know how to counsel that particular person. I could pray for that person for enlightenment.

Answer from Steven Rogers ^(5,163)
Steven Rogers 31 days 9 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
just tell them it can only get better

Answer from Evans Kim ⁽⁹³⁾ 31 days 9 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
Everybody is good at at least one thing. It just happens so that the person wasn't given opportunity show his talent.

Answer from Drunken Mystic ⁽⁴⁹⁶⁾
Drunken Mystic 31 days 7 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
It's not about having brains to lead a life properly. Consider yourself lucky you are not in their shoes. What do you know about suicidal tendencies? I am sorry to sound blunt and rude, but your question sounds a bit arrogant. Nobody is stupid or idiot. All of us have our own flaws. Life is just like a coin with two sides. You toss it, and you could be either heads one time or tails. You could any time end up on the losing side. I have been through suicidal tendencies myself, but God put sense into my head and saved me.

And, I know why it was worth ending my life at one point of time, for the troubles I was facing. When you are in that situation, you will know. Till then you will feel people who try such things are stupid and idiots. Are you sure you will never face a tough and trying situation in life where you would feel your life has no meaning anymore. I have felt, sitting right in one place, where the whole world had come to an end, as if my breath would cease, and the only option is to kill myself. It doesn't come out of stupidity. It just happens automatically. You need to hold them with compassion, and talk them out of it. They are not stupid, not idiots. It's the situation which influences their minds, because their minds have become vulnerable and weak. Sorry... I don't mean to be offensive, but the manner of your question is not right.

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 18 hours ago.
Sir with due respect, you also misunderstood my question. He has less knowledge of everything. He doesnt understand things properly. He doesnt have a good education qualification. And he is a failure in everything. And thats why he attempted suicide. How are you going to help him when you're asked to counsel? That's my question.

I am sorry for not explaining the question properly. It's not a reality in my life. But I am just asking a question to know the view points of wise people in SW. And by the way one devastating suicide case only has turned me into a counselor.

Answer from Hillary Caston ⁽⁶³⁾ 31 days 7 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
Concentrate more on where they can go from here. The past is past. What is one good thing that they can do today...then work from that point. Advise them to journal every day - try 10/10. 10 things they are grateful for, and 10 things that they will accomplish. Focus them on positive things - even if it is only 1 thing. Train the brain to be positive and their life actions/reactions can only improve.

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 18 hours ago.
Thanks for answering my question because there are people who analyzed the question instead of answering it. God bless you.

Answer from Hilda Cang ⁽²¹¹⁾
Hilda Cang 31 days 1 hour ago. More questions answered by this person)
This is a very taxing kind of task one faces as a counsellor . few aspects to consider for the victim whether he is married, work treatment, physical condition and financial security + relationship....from there you see the picture and come to understand the about. But here we can see he is a flop in all these areas. He lost hope and the strength to go on. He needs lots of TLC that a caring and patient person can give and guide him back to normal. Knowing that this is a two-way-street effect so you can use his most loved object such as his little daughter/son or mother to relent and come to his senses. No matter how, this fellow still has some emotion so prayerfully all things work well although it may take some time.

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 17 hours ago.
Thanks you so much for answering.

Answer from Hannah Quinn ^(18,293)
Hannah Quinn 30 days 23 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
For one, stop thinking of them as stupid for attempting suicide. Your attitude will be reflected to them even if you are trying to hide it, and that will only compound their problems. If someone attempts suicide, then I think they should be encouraged to seek professional help. On the personal level, help them see the good things about who they are; everyone has good traits. If you can't find any, perhaps you should do a little soul searching of your own. When all that is left is to reflect back negativity to a depressed person, it is better to step back. You don't have to 'pander' to a person's despair, but neither should you scoff at it. Somewhere is middle ground. See what you can do to find it and then lead them there.


Cheers, Hannah

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days 17 hours ago.
Maam! You also misunderstood my question. I have few replies and explanations to other people above. Please go through it.

And yes...Thanks for the answer.

Comment from Gregory Lewis ^(1,502) 30 days 14 hours ago.
Have you stopped to think that if so many people misunderstand your question, maybe the problem is with you and not them?

Just a suggestion.

- G

Comment from Chiradeep - The Candles ^(1,445) 30 days ago.
The Problem is with me and my English....Thanks for your help. God bless you.

Comment from Brianna Popsickle ^(2,452) 8 days 5 hours ago.
Thank you G. Couldn't have said it better.

Answer from Charles McArthur ⁽²¹⁾ 30 days 17 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
I don't think that you do counsel them. Tell them that you cannot help them in their current state, explain the reality of the situation. Some people cannot be helped.

Answer from Stephen Fischer ⁽¹⁵⁴⁾ 30 days 7 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
Show him that the only way to Truly fail is to give up. Life is a series of successes and failures. Sometimes the failures seem to overwhelm but if we keep plugging away. And, whereas death may seem like an easy escape, it isn't an escape at all.

Answer from Mark Parsec ^(16,695)
Mark Parsec 22 days 1 hour ago. More questions answered by this person)
Well, I think it would begin by approaching the person with the understanding that they are not really stupid or idiotic. If I was approached that way I just might pull the trigger. And no one... absolutely NO ONE has ever failed in every aspect of their life. The person must find that they are loved, appreciated, needed and valuable.

Answer from Paul Schroeder ^(2,366) 8 days 5 hours ago. More questions answered by this person)
Since most people who attempt it fail to accomplish it, I would say;"Don't try to kill yourself; you'll LIVE to regret it!"