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Hard To Believe

Robin Brown ^(2,526) Bronze Level Author

My Time with Royalty (autobio)

Posted Tuesday, September 22, 2009 (47 days 10 hours ago.) Viewed 33 times.

If you would like to experience a journey which will be hard to believe, then sit back, kick off your shoes and enjoy. First off, my life has been blessed to have traveled the globe to meet so many incredible people. I am currently 52 years of age but seems as though I've lived 3 or 4 lifetimes of experience. I could brag for days about those experiences but I have learned that people are weary to accept my stories as fact so, I don't speak much about them any more. Please feel free to whisper to yourself... "bull...." because even when I returned from Turkey after this experience and told my friends about it, it remained an unbelieveable experience to swallow! My two closest friends at the time believed me but other than that, it was like it didn't really happen! This venue has allowed me the opportunity to share this true but unbelieveable story.

I was a small town Texas boy who found himself working for Disney in The Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show at DisneyLand Paris back in the mid-nineties and my 12 years based in France was something I will never forget! Feel free to Google The Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show to get an idea of where I was based at this time. This particular experience is my favorite and I had a few sooo... I hope you enjoy it!

When the three of us arrived in Istanbul, Turkey from Paris, the cab driver drove us right up to the dock where this incredible yacht was docked on the Bosporus. This is where my story begins.

When we walked on board this large boat, I couldn't believe it! This boat was first class every which way you looked at it! The rooms were small but elegant and the bar and reception area were like they were out of a Home and Garden's magazine. The boat was sweet, no doubt. Me, Bettina and Eric and the ten other guests where all standing out on the patio deck of the yacht when someone yelled, "She's here! She's here!" Bettina, my older female friend who invited my friend Eric and I on this journey pointed out to me that a gunboat was off our starboard side. I'm like... a gunboat? What was a gunboat doing so close to our boat? Wow! I asked Bettina to tell me who needs a gunboat when they traveled? I knew Bettina was pretty well-known in Parisian society but did she warrant a gunboat when she traveled abroad? She looked at me smiling like a five year-old who was keeping a secret from me and my friend. Bettina was a Parisian socialite whom I met months before at a social event in Paris. We became good friends and she had no problem using her influence with those she fancied. Bettina was the first high fashion super model of the fifties. She was Givanche's favorite model at that time so, she grew to know quite a few well-known people over her years. It had been a month before back in Paris that Bettina asked Eric and I if we wanted to go to Istanbul, Turkey on a one week excursion with a very special guest. She told us that she wouldn't divulge who that special guest was until we arrived in Turkey. Well, Eric and I didn't care who the guest was because we were just excited about going to Turkey and staying free on a yacht owned by the third richest man in Turkey! Once again, we had informed Bettina that we didn't feel comfortable about going on one of her adventures with her unless we were allowed to pay our way. This was an ongoing sticking point with Bettina when she would invite us to travel with her. Our time in friendship with Bettina was probably the only time she had ever traveled in "coach" on an airplane. She agreed to our request once again and told us that room and board was already taken care of because we were guests of this third richest man in Turkey. We would only have to pay for our airline tickets which we did. Eric and I didn't feel comfortable with an older woman paying our way to anything because we didn't want to be seen as gigolos even though we were perceived as such by many in Paris! At least we knew in our hearts that we weren't. On some of these excursions, we would have to save up our money to just pay for our airline tickets when we traveled with Bettina.

Standing on the back end of this yacht, Bettina finally shared with us who was to be our guest of honor on our one week journey around the Marmara Islands. A black limo pulled up to the back of this incredible yacht docked on the shore of the Bosporus with all the present guests standing at the boat's railing. When a little old lady made her way out of the limo, Bettina looked at me and said, "Princess Margaret". I'm like... excuse me? She said it again, "Princess Margaret, the special guest?" It all fell into line as we watched this royal family member exit the limo and make her way to the boat. Bettina leans over to me and says, "You must bow in her presence." I'm thinking... "No way! I don't bow to anyone, I'm from Texas!" The Princess stepped onto the yacht and the dozen or so people greet her and bow. After everyone was introduced, I stepped forward and made my own introduction, "Good day, ma'am, my name is Robin Brown and I'm from Texas and they don't teach us how to bow there so I hope this will do". I removed my Stetson cowboy hat which I always wore and bowed my head." The Princess was touched and told me that she would teach me how to bow, later. I'm reacting inside... what does that mean? Them there are fightin' words in Texas! Ain't nobody gonna teach nobody how to bow for nobody here! It all seemed too strange at the time. This was when we heard for the tenth time, "no cameras around Princess Margaret!" My first impression of this Princess was a very striking one to say the least. Margaret went to her suite and the rest of us mulled around in silence like we had all just met royalty! We had and we were just all attempting to comprehend it all! I wasn't alone here, even Bettina was slightly taken back a bit and that's rare for Betinna since she had pretty much met every famous person alive! We were all looking around like we were searching for that cat that had all our tongues!

Dinnertime was nearing and everyone went to change into their dinner clothes. I was already wearing mine so, I just retreated to my room to lay down and relax a bit. Thirty minutes later, I made my way downstairs to the dining room. Everyone was already seated and I was searching for an empty seat. There weren't any empty seats available except for the seat right next to Princess Margaret and I sure wasn't going to take that one! Margaret turns, sees me and announces that I was to sit to her right. Ohhh... kay! I'm having dinner with Princess Margaret! Wow! I'm not only having dinner with her, I'm sitting right next to her! Wow! Did I tell you that I had dinner with the Queen's sister? Did I already tell you that? I know... I have to say that from time to time to remind myself that I actually had dinner with Princess Margaret! Wow! How did a small town Texas boy pull that one off?

The view from the dining area of the boat was spectacular. We had a panoramic view of the Bosporus channel just in case we got bored with the dinner company... yeah, right!.

I'll never forget that moment at the dinner table when I bit down on a rock pebble which found it's way into my seafood soup dish. I discreetly pulled from my mouth, a rock pebble. My eyes are shooting back and forth around the table of six to try to not allow anyone to see what I was dealing with. When I felt something else swirling around inside my mouth, I reached in and pulled out a good sized chunk of tooth. My tooth! I broke off a tip of my upper left inside molar. To this day, I think of Princess Margaret when my tongue glides over this inside missing portion of tooth. I'm feeling it right now! Well, the missing tooth has never really bothered me much because I only possess the highest of respect for Margaret and her persona so, I get a good sensation each time my tongue glides over that missing portion of tooth.

Many a hot and breezy afternoons, Margaret and I would lounge on the top level of that yacht in comfortable wooden padded lounge chairs. This all took place a couple years before her passing and to this day, I have only met three other persons besides Princess Margaret that have fascinated me by words alone! They are as follows: Adrienne Barbeau, Vivianne Westwood and Farida El Ralimi, whom I married. I am not saying, by any means that I have not received specific influences from others with whom I've been blessed to meet, it's just that these four energies reflected my psychological understanding of mankind and life itself! They are special to me and since this is my story and my perceptions of my experiences, then I think I can safely say, "I can say that!"

Spending time together,Princess Margaret and I would run "sarcastic reflections" out of town by sundown, Brown! No one is funnier with their sarcastic wit than Princess Margaret... hands down! We would be sunbathing on the roof top of that yacht and sarcastically converse on the overabundant jellyfish community that would track us down all over the Bosporus. We could converse for hours speaking and reflecting upon the migration patterns of Turkish jellyfish! Margaret's a riot! She's the Belle of the ball whenever she was around others. I guess it was in her blood, so to speak.

One night after dinner, we all got up from the table and entered into the piano parlor for entertainment. Yes, a piano parlor on a yacht! I know! I'm thinking to myself, "What's this! Entertainment, too?" Little did I know that everyone in the room would be asked to perform some type of entertainment for everyone present.

Princess Margaret walked up to the piano and made herself comfortable while everyone got mentally prepared. They should have told me about the entertainment portion of the trip when they invited me, then I could have prepared something! It was like duck season and I felt as though I was flying way too low over the pond as it was! Margaret played the piano superbly and sang as well. I was like... "Wow, she can play the piano and sing, too! You probably have to know how to do them both growing up as a royal kid! It was just about after Margaret's applause ended when another guest made their way to the piano hot seat. That was when I realized that yes, everyone was going to perform something for everyone else! Wow! I wish I could have had a video camera focused on my face when this realization crossed my consciousness! Bam! What the heck was I going to do? I don't play a single musical instrument and my singing was slightly worse than my dancing abilities. What? I'm gonna do stand-up comedy? It crossed my mind but I kind of tossed that... realizing that I had never attempted to consciously tell stories or jokes to make people laugh before! I could have performed a strip-tease maybe but I would have probably been taken away by the fully armed on-boat security agent. Wow! I was stuck far beyond the pickle! I couldn't even tell you what anyone before me had performed as I was too busy attempting to figure out what in the heck I was going to do to make a fool out of myself in front of royalty! When the U.N. Counselor guy finished singing, everyone looked at me! Wow!

Outta the blue, I'm like... "Well, did everyone get their chance to entertain? I was hoping to divert my turn over to someone else. Didn't work! Everyone was smiling and shaking their heads as if they were saying... "Yeah, we're done... whata ya got?!"

Wow! I do not know where this came from and if someone told me that I just pulled it out of my cowboy hat... I would have to personally agree. I sat down at the piano and everyone gathered around the piano, looking at ME! I took a deep breath and began. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am not going to attempt to compete with the likes of those who have played and sang so beautifully here this evening... I would like to try something a little different... if you don't mind." All the while I'm trying everything I can to sound as eloquent and proper without a hint of my southern accent. Everyone was now intrigued and I had everyone's undivided attention. Oh great! I was coming to the bonfire with no firewood! Wow, when nothing else came to mind, I began, "Tonight is audience participation night and I will be your conductor and this evening we are going to perform... (now, here it is... oh boy!)

Old McDonald Had a Farm! That's right! (as I then turned on the Texas twang) Old McDonald Had a Farm!"

The look on everyone's face was priceless. We're talking, Princess Margaret and three members of her personal cabinet, a couple of U.N. Ambassadors from New York, a jewelry magnate from New York, a famous New York hair designer and some other Ambassador guy from the region. The stone looks on those faces reminded me of Mount Rushmore! I calmed everyone down by explaining the rules of the song. It's not like I really had to calm anyone down because you could have heard a duck feather drop in the room! This was when the guests actually had time to think the whole thing through and began to realize that I wasn't kiddin' about this Old McDonald sing-a-long thing!

Once everyone believed that I was going to actually do this... then everyone began preparing. I told everyone to pick an animal for the sing-a-long and then asked out loud, "Does everyone have an animal?" Everyone slowly nodded their heads up and down. I continued, "there are a few ground rules to this sing-a-long, Rule Number 1... If you hear someone else use your animal before you get a chance to use it, then you must come up with another animal before your turn begins. Rule number 2... since I'm the conductor, then it will be up to me to point to the next animal... I mean... person to denote who's next." Everyone was now on board and excited about playing this little childhood sing-a-long and Margaret was even smiling. I sang a verse to let everyone know the back and forth nature of how the song operated.

"It goes like this...

(I sing...) Old McDonald had a Farm

(and we all sing...) E. I. E. I. O.

(and I sing...) and on his farm he had a...

(and I'll point at someone and he or she will say his or her animal out loud like...) A cow!

(and we all sing...) E.I.E.I.O.

(and I say...) With a...

(and the person I point at says...) moo-moo

(and I say...) here and a...

(and they say...) moo-moo

(and I say...) there! Here a...

(and they say...) moo

(and I say... ) there a...

(and they say...) moo!

(and I say...) everywhere a...

(and they say...) moo-moo!

(and we all sing...) Old McDonald had a Farm... E.I.E.I.O.

and then I'll begin the whole process over with the next person chosen... is that clear?"

The explanation of how the song worked was entertaining enough and I felt like I was off the hook, so to speak. Now, everyone else was on the spot! They each had to remember when to chime in and when not to chime in. This sing-a-long was a little more difficult than what everyone seemed to think prior to this explanation but I told them not to worry because that's why they have a well-trained professional conductor like myself on board (right...)! I started the song and pointed to a supposedly well-known New York hair designer. He played it safe and proclaimed "the dog" as his animal of choice. I went through a couple of more animals and then pointed to Princess Margaret to begin her installment. The Princess was prepared. I could see that in her eyes. This woman was fearless. When I got to the selected person's line in the sing-a-long... I would point to them to let them know when it was their turn to respond with their animal voice. If I would point at you once... then you would make your animal voice... and if I pointed at you the second time then you would make that noise or sound again and so on. I was curious as anyone as to how Princess Margaret would respond to this child's play. It didn't take long for her to astound everyone in the room that night... again! This was one of those times in which a writer could only wish to experience.

Everyone in the room was fully focused on what animal Princess Margaret would actually select. I began to sing the song, "Old McDonald had a farm."

(Everyone followed with...) "E.I.E.I.O."

(I continued) "and on his farm he had a..." and I pointed at Princess Margaret. You could have heard that same duck feather drop awaiting Margaret's selection.

She smiled with confidence and responded... "PIG!"

Everyone was assimilating her choice and by the time it hit them, the Princess was "snorting" through her nostrils and she didn't just snort that one time. No, sir! All five "nasal pig snorts" were present and all pretty original! Margaret had certainly been around some pigs in her time and I'm talkin' real pigs! By the time everyone snapped out of this surreal dimension, the Princess was complete and I was trying to not laugh in order to continue the sing-a-long but I lost it... as did every single person in attendance that night! It was certainly an honor to witness the grace and fortitude of such a glowing royal figure.

The woman was like no other on a number of levels and just like everyone else... on others. She was spiritually dichotomous. I later received two letters of correspondence from her and I still to this day... cherish them. Margaret will always remain in my heart of memories. She is a truly special cosmic energy. That week in Turkey on that boat awakened me to a few necessities I was searching for in life. I realized that I wanted to be better prepared in the future in case anyone would ever ask me to perform something! This wasn't the first time I had been called on to perform in public! I remember lying in bed one night thinking about what I could practice in case this was ever asked of me in the future. The first thing that came to me? An "Old McDonald had a Farm" sing-a-long conductor? Why not? It worked well before!

Robin J. Brown has been published in the book anthology titled, The Real Meaning of Life'' and in the book anthology, "Names in a Jar" A Collection of Poetry by 100 Contemporary American Poets. His musical association, "Secrets of the Mind" is a collection of his Internal Rhyming poetry put to music.