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This article submission is pointed to people who have the strangest desire to put "all" of their personal information on Facebook.  Of course the friend site is a great way to stay in touch with your friends, family, co-workers, and classmates.  But, it's also a way for employers to research job candidates, and active employees as well.  So, please be aware of what you are putting on your facebook profile, and/or wall.

 

The news, and other outlets are filled with reports of how employers are now looking into potential employees (as well as active employees), by using their email addresses to find them on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and other personal friend sites.

 

Imagine wanting, or even needing a job to find out you were rejected because of what you have on your Facebook page, or the pictures in your Myspace photos; it's even worst to be rejected because of a picture you were tagged in.  Being tagged in a photo doesn't neccessarily mean that you agree to having the photo in your photos.  But it does show up under your photos, and this can be a red line through your chances of getting a job.  I have had photos tagged to my name on Facebook, that weren't even pictures of me, but whomever tagged me, felt that I should see the picture.  Not many people know that you can "un-tag" yourself in these photos, and they will disappear from your profile.  This is the very thing that has people in hot water, or hurts their chances of having a 'clean' profile.

 

There are certain things that are okay for you and your friends to share.  But, it's another thing to have information on your profile that you are not willing to share with the public ... in that case, don't share it at all or as soon as you and your friends enjoy a good laugh, delete the information, photos, videos or links.

 

As hard as it is for many to obtain a job, it's even harder for employers to screen potential employees.  This does not mean that I support employers using friend site profiles to get a closer look at the potential employee.  But I do understand the reasons behind the screening, and that's why I try to keep it clean on most of my profiles ... note, I said "most".

 

But, a word to the wise, and maybe not so wise:  If you are planning to look for employment, try using a different email address.  One that is not linked to your personal sites; keep in mind of employers using sites such as Myspace and Facebook, and keep it clean.  But, if you are anything like me, you will learn to practice what I call, "Smart Internet Usage"; remebering that everything you put online, is worldwide!  If you don't wish for the whole world to know, then don't put it out there.

 

Happy Interneting, and Halloween

  I wanted to share a picture of Bertha, our family Carved Pumpkin:

I know this may seem as a touchy subject, and it may be a bit personal for some.  But, this subject is an important subject to bring up considering your child has, or will lose their virginity to their babysitter, or one of your friends.

 

It all started when I came up with a way of getting to know more about my mates; I would ask them how did they lose their virginity, and most of them replied, "With my babysitter, or an older lady that was a friend of my parents." 

 

After several of the same responses (over a course of years), I became curious of how [males] others "lost" their virginity.  My journalistic hat was on my head before I realized it, and I would ask my male friends about their "first time".  The responses were overwhelming, and might I add - mouth-dropping.  At first.

 

While on myspace, friends and I started to blog on the subject one day, and the conversation grew more astounding as the responses overloaded the blog.  It turned out to be a three page thread on the subject; the men on the blog seen it as "no biggie" that they had experienced their first time with an 'older' female, and the females had shared average experiences, being that of a boy her own age.  It was very few [females] that had been led into sexual experience by their babysitter. 

 

So, perhaps the issue lies within older females, and female babysitters.  Somehow, I have to stand ground because I was a professionally Nanny before my Journalist career started, and I have never even imagined having sex with someone I was babysitting.  Yikes!  To me, it seems disgusting to want to have sex with a child.  Of course, many may say that the babysitter is just a child as well.  But, I still say that holding a position of a "babysitter", gives that person the role of an adult; i.e. you are babysitting ... get it?

 

The first time should be a special one, and shared by someone close to your age.  Of course, this is my opinion, and it may be shared by others.  But, I don't want my opinions to be at the forefront of this submission, I want to point out that there are things going on in your home when you are away ... feeling secure that your children are in good hands, when in fact the very secure hands you left your child in care of, are the same hands exploring the child's body.

 

This subject has me filled with questions: Could the experience scar the young child in future sexual experiences?  Is it possible that having your first sexual experience with an older person, more than likely shape your dating style/taste?  Of course, I have a long list of questions, but I shall not ask them all here in my submission. 

 

But, I do have one, ultimate question to ask my readers:  Isn't this against the law?  To have your child's innocence stripped by someone like a babysitter?  Well, if it is a law that is, and can be broken, why aren't there more parents filing claims?  Could it be the fact that your children are not sharing their "new" experience with you?  Just imagine your young son being excited about losing his virginity to an older female, and not wanting to be embarrassed by sharing his 'experience' with his Mother ... kind of like Catch 22, right?  Right.  Regardless, talk to your children, and find out what is going on in their lives.  At home, and away from home.

 

A child should feel more comfortable talking to their parents rather than anyone else.  How often does your child tell you about whats going on in their lives?

          

Before I submit this as a collection in reference to domestic violence, I would like to inform my readers of it being a very personal, and opinionated submission.  I share this for the many silent victims that have survived, or not - the unmistakable, silent killer ... and I use, killer, with every sense of strength I can to place emphasis.

 

Domestic violence, being given the name because of it happening inside of the home, has origins as far back as the beginning of any story of life, and living.  I wonder what it was called then?  Especially, when just a mere 30 or 40 years ago, it wasn't even considered "domestic violence"; I can remember times as a young girl, when my cousin and I visited our cousin and his girlfriend at the time.  They got into what we called 'fights', but it seemed Shirley wasn't having her fair share of the fight.  It scared me to shivers, and I'm sure it scared my cousin Charles as well because we were taking cover in all kinds of small places, and behind doors or stairs.  The screams we heard told us that the lady was not winning whatever type of 'fight' the grown-ups were having.

 

As I grew older, I became a very defensive person when it came to male-female relationships, and having differences; there was no way a guy was "gonna put his hands on me". I was adamant, and stood ground to show other females that they would be crazy to stay with a guy who "put his hands" on her.  I've been the first friend my girls would call to "put him out", after a dispute.  But, even that type of help would get tiring, and played out to me.  That would be my cue to opt out, it was no sense in constantly running to a friend's rescue, when she was going to return back to the madness.  I could see no heads, nor tails for her staying in the violence.

 

I always wondered what would, and could make/persuade/allow ... the list could go on forever, what has this woman staying in a violent situation?  That was, until I became a victim and suspect of it, myself.  Yes, I was a suspect for it as well.  I say this, because I have played detective with a bit more passion than my mate may have tolerance for, and continue to hold his "secret".  But, I have been wise enough, to know when the buttons I wanted pushed, had been pushed, and I was satisfied with that and took it no further to commense a physical altercation.

 

I became a victim, when my mate finally submitted to his being intimidated by my independence.  But, I figured him being intimidated is what caused him to lose his loyalty, respect and faithfulness to our relationship.  So, being a respectable, considerate person, I opted out of the relationship, and that's when the physical abuse began.

 

Before the physical, I was a victim of emotional abuse; there are more victims of this abuse than any other type of abuse, in my opinion.  Emotional abuse has victims of every race, gender, or breed.  Yes, animals are victims of such:  they need your love and affection, just as much as they give it to their owners.

 

Emotional abuse tears to the soul of a person, and rips at the spirit.  During the aforementioned abuse in my life, my spirit of being a 'go-getter' has disappeared with the many times he preferred to be with others over me.  I felt low, regardless of how well my outside portrayed for me.  Sure, I went to work, and continued on my daily activities.  But, they were not handled with that fiery passion that I once held for everything I put my hands, and heart to.  I was slowly dying on the inside; the most precious part of me was losing the light that was demanding to shine throughout me.

 

People don't realize, how often a harsh statement, resentful actions, and even an unconsiderate gesture can truthfully hurt a person.  Not only hurt the person, but it can tear down the spirit they hold within.  Imagine this:

 

A man has been having the roughest of roughest, days at work.  It all started with a downplay of a position during a 9AM meeting, by lunch the word was out, and his scheduled lunch date cancelled at the last minute; copy machine brokedown, spilling toner ink on his pant legs; he had no extra pair of pants at work.  But, nearing the end of the day, he gets a break, and has an opportunity to progress in his "dream" ... he takes the idea home ... (what do you think will happen to this man's dream, if his wife doesn't share his joy?  Or, vice versa?)

 

I see it happening in households everyday, mates not being supportive, considerate of the time in their mate's life ... we all have a life to live.  Your problems are not those of the people around you, live like that.  I know it may be complicated, and even downright hard to do, but if a person takes a second to consider the other person - we all might be able to get along (smile).

 

Stay Blessed, and Live like you have neighbors

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