Sam's WorldSamantha Chang (144)    Samantha Chang   TheImproper.com The Future Begins Now, So Seize the PresentPosted Sunday, December 16, 2007 (200 days 19 hours ago.) Viewed 594 times. Whether we realize it or not, by adopting this approach to life, we're bypassing our present while simultaneously placing unrealistic expectations on the future. Stuck On the Treadmill I have to admit, I've done this a lot, especially during childhood, when I longed for and idealized my future as an adult. Fortunately, as a kid, you're naturally prone to focus on the here-and-now, so this mindset didn't keep me from enjoying my childhood. But as an adult, this mentality is inescapable, since a lot of what we do is geared toward the future. Even raising children is a future-focused activity. We shuffle kids off to school, and extracurricular activities, all the while keeping one eye on the future to ensure they reach adulthood well-educated and prepared for life. The drawback to living like this is that you often feel like you're running mindlessly on a treadmill, chugging along but not really going anywhere--and certainly not enjoying the view along the way. But the alternative--never thinking about the future--just isn't an option, because time inevitably marches on and, as the saying goes, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." It All Comes Down to Choice So what's the optimal approach? There has to be some sort of happy compromise between living in the moment and planning for the future. Straddling these two realities is a major challenge in life for most people. For me, this means planning for the future while making the best of the present, no matter what that situation may be. In effect, it all comes down to choice--making the choice to view the present in a positive light and making the best of it. This doesn't mean you should blithely ignore what might be wrong in your present. If you can improve something, then by all means, do so. But if a situation can't be fixed right now, then the next best approach is to work around it and work toward improving it for the future. I know this sounds very abstract, but that's because this approach can be applied to so many different scenarios that we all come across in our lives. In his landmark bestseller, Man's Search for Meaning, Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote that man can choose to be happy and to posit meaning to his life, even inside the horrific walls of a Nazi concentration camp. Using this perspective, it's impossible for me to truly feel bad about anything that I consider wrong in my life right now, and I think this might be the same for most people. Overcoming the Unimaginable After the Holocaust, no one would have faulted Dr. Frankl had he chosen to live the rest of his life in bitter solitude. But instead, after surviving a brutal concentration camp, Frankl went on to become a world-renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author. He spread a message of hope and inspiration to millions of people around the world. But how did he flourish in the face of such inconceivable suffering and tragedy when countless others would have become (understandably) defeated by it? To me, Frankl exemplified what it truly means to make the best of your present and focus on building a brighter future. He made a choice to resist giving in to the horrors of his present situation and to remain optimistic and committed to a better future. At least, that's the message I draw from his example. Now, few of us will ever experience the kind of suffering and despair Frankl and other Holocaust victims endured, but that just makes his story that much more inspirational and admirable. Either way, Dr. Frankl's experiences and accomplishments underscore that a way exists to operate optimally, making the best of the here-and-now while still looking forward. And this knowledge gives me hope--both for the present and the future. 
Permalink Comments (10) Changing the Routine in our RoutinesPosted Thursday, December 13, 2007 (203 days 16 hours ago.) Viewed 45 times. This past summer, I went to my first baseball game and had a ball (no pun intended). Even though the New York Yankees lost miserably to the visiting team, I had a great time because it was something I'd never done before. The sheer novelty of the experience made it interesting, fun and worthwhile. I'm ashamed to admit that despite having lived in New York for over 12 years, I had never been to Yankees Stadium. Well, now I can check that off my to-do list. Obviously, I have other, more significant, goals on my to-do list, but it's weird how a little thing like going to a baseball game can help you make important life realizations. The Bell Jar Sometimes the slide into a rut--whether it's in your career or your personal life--is so gradual you don't even realize it. It's not dissimilar to what happens when you cook a frog. Chefs who prepare frogs say that if you threw a frog into a vat of boiling water, the frog will immediately jump out--an instinctual reaction to the high heat. However, if you place the frog in a pot of cold water and gradually turn the fire up on the stove, the frog slowly boils to death because it acclimates to the incremental increases in water temperature. Basically, the frog dies without realizing it because it slowly got used to the gradual changes in its environment. While this example may be a bit morbid, it illustrates an important point: Some of are figuratively being boiled to death without realizing it. An antidote is to try and experience new things. Variety really is the spice of life! Having new experiences and undertaking new challenges is crucial, not only for enjoying life that much more, but also for personal growth. Too often, many of us stop developing as human beings once we graduate from school, start working or having families. At least, that was the old paradigm. Today we realize that life doesn't have to stop (or slow down) simply because we get married or become parents or get older or retire. And this knowledge opens our eyes to all kinds of amazing opportunities for personal enrichment and enjoyment. Overcoming Plateaus Similarly, people fall into fitness plateaus all the time by doing the same routine. If you've hit a plateau in losing weight or in building muscle, an effective foil is to switch up your exercise routine or dietary intake to "fool" your body. By making adjustments in your routine, your body shakes itself out of complacency and changes. For example, if you run on a treadmill at the same speed and resistance for every workout, your body knows exactly what to expect every time you step on it. To break out of this plateau, you have to surprise or shock your body. When the body gets a jolt from the blue, it gets "traumatized." To deal with this, it expends much more energy than what it had been burning doing the same old routine. And that's how it changes. By the same token, some of us need to shock ourselves out of our own self-imposed ruts. The beauty of this is that change can happen in an instant. Any recovering alcoholic or drug addict can attest to this fact. All it takes is one small step in a different direction. This is important to keep in mind, because oftentimes when we get stuck in ruts we lose sight of the fact that we can get ourselves out. It all starts with one small step. Keep on Truckin' Recently, a lady named Nola Ochs graduated from college. At 95, she is the world's oldest college graduate, having received her bachelor's degree from Fort Hays State University in Kansas. Nola started taking occasional college classes 35 years ago after the death of her husband in 1972. At a time when most people are dead or preparing for it, Nola just keeps on truckin'. She's now making plans to get her master's degree. Now that's what I call breaking out of a rut.
Permalink Comments (0) It's Time to Retire These Fashion TrendsPosted Wednesday, December 12, 2007 (204 days 6 hours ago.) Viewed 111 times. Every year, new fashion trends are born while others fall by the wayside. After seeing the same tired trends over and over during the past 12 months, here are some that I--and I'm sure, many others--would like to see retired. Forever. Is That a Mop On Your Head? I don't know who started the hair-extension movement, but the insanity has got to stop! Ladies, it does not look chic to walk around wearing long, drag-queen-like wigs on your heads. Tyra Banks, this means you! There seems to be no end in sight to the hair-extension trend that has stormed Hollywood. And now everyone--especially starlets like Jessica Simpson, Beyonce and Britney Spears--regularly wear hair extensions. I don't know how to say this nicely, but here goes: no one is buying that your hair grew 6 inches overnight. It doesn't look good; I don't care what anyone else tells you. Not Fas(s)cinating Super-low-rider jeans that so many don on the street also need to be retired. By now I've seen enough female butt cracks to last a lifetime. Not only do super-low-rider jeans look uncomfortable to wear, but it makes onlookers feel uncomfortable. How can you avoid staring? Last year I had the misfortune of sitting behind a woman at a concert and was soooo embarrassed for her. The rows of people sitting behind her got a perfect view, not of the show onstage, but this woman's backside exposed by her low-rider jeans. So ladies: Toss 'em and wear something else. You'll feel a lot more comfortable, and so will those around you. Fake-and-Bake Now that the cold weather has arrived, a lot of people want to simulate a toned, tan physique, which for some means frequent visits to self-tanning salons. At these boutiques, people pay to be sprayed with a self-tanning lotion that's supposed to impart a natural-looking tan. The problem is that many people leave these salons looking like they have a vitamin deficiency. An orange "tan" is an oxymoron, and no one will mistake you for a St. Tropez resident if you look like a gigantic carrot. Thanks to advances in beauty products, there are effective self-tanning lotions that deliver a natural-looking tan--if you don't go overboard. Either way, it's better to look naturally wan and pale than orange. Plastic Head Alert Has anyone noticed Nicole Kidman's super-shiny plastic forehead lately? She looks like an exhibit from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. I'm not even gonna comment on Madonna's mask...er..I mean,...face. Similarly, when I walk around Manhattan, I see lots of alien-like, wax-figure faces of women fresh from their Botox injections. When done with a subtle hand, Botox can help some women look refreshed. But what I usually see is Botox-overload, which defeats the purpose of getting this procedure, in my opinion. Ladies (and gentlemen, in some cases): Getting Botox injections is supposed to make you look younger, not transform you into a plastic android. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a few lines on your face. Everyone has them--even 20-somethings. Duck-Billed Platypus Along the same vein, another tired trend is the "trout pout." You know what I'm talking about: those women who can barely close their mouths after getting collagen injections in an attempt to replicate the full, luscious, Angelina Jolie-esque lips. A horrible example is actress Meg Ryan, whose lips are so artificially inflated that she looks like a duck. It's just not a good look. So the next time you're thinking of following the "hot, new" trend in a fashion magazine, consider whether it works for you, and whether you'll be comfortable with it. After all, the whole point of those trends is to make you look better, not just different. And definitely not scary.
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