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Teresa Ortiz ^(10,864) California, USA

Teresa Ortiz

Freelance writer/Speaker

Keeping Your History with Cancer a Secret is Not a Good Idea - A Conversation with my Cousin

Posted Friday, November 20, 2009 (6 hours 35 minutes ago.) Viewed 67 times.

This past week has been one of the most exhausting weeks I have had since my children were little. On the other hand, it has been a week filled with a lot of laughter and great conversation with my cousin whom I haven't had an opportunity to sit and visit with since we were teenagers. My mom caught a terrible cold and needed to take some time off, so my daughter and I jumped at the chance to take her place caring for the children and do whatever cleaning needed to be done. After all, how hard could it be?

~~~~~

"Teresa, we have some sad news, Laurie has been diagnosed with breast cancer." This news hit me like a brick a little over seven months ago. There is never a convenient time to be diagnosed with cancer, but given the fact that my cousin had a 1 ½ year old daughter and was 8 months pregnant only added to the stress.

I was living in Oregon when this news came, and though we spoke once on the phone, my mom said it's too much for her to take and the best thing we can do is pray for her and for wisdom for the doctors to come up with the best course of action. Along with my mom, who had already been her childcare/housekeeping guru, her parents made preparations to be there when the baby was born and treatment would begin.

After many doctor visits and discussions, it was determined that they would induce labor two weeks early and then three weeks later, begin chemotherapy. Naturally this was a fearful moment, but it was wonderful to hear about how everyone was coming together to do whatever was necessary.

My mom kept me updated on the progress and I was anxious to get to California to visit, but with my husband working away from home, it never worked out. When we made our decision to move, visiting Laurie was my top priority. Although changing dirty diapers, chasing a two-year old around the house, doing laundry while holding a crying baby in one hand, and moping floors was far removed from the – sitting around the table with a hot cup of coffee enjoying a peaceful moment – vision I had, it was four days that I will cherish forever.

~~~~

Laurie was comfortable with us this particular morning; at least I assume she was as she came into the kitchen without wearing the hat that covered her not quite fully bald head, and what was left of her eyebrows. Somehow I knew this would be the moment we talked about "it".

She told me that she feels partially to blame for not getting checked out sooner. "I've had this lump for over 10 years; I was always told it's just fibroids, nothing to worry about." "Even though I felt it growing during the pregnancy, I just figured they would tell me the same thing….anyway, with no history in our family, I wasn't concerned."

As it turns out, there is history…Her grandmother on her dad's side, our aunt – my mom and her mom's sister, and a few others. I felt a tinge of guilt as I revealed to her that I had cervical cancer about 12 years ago. Why did we all keep it a secret? We talked about this for quite sometime. Would it have made a difference in how serious each of us took our symptoms – I believe so. As we continued to talk, I felt compelled to tell her about the news I received from my doctor the day before we left Oregon.

"Well, I haven't told too many people, but my doctor found a lump that she is concerned about and given my history, she suggested an immediate mammogram." "When I told my doctor about your treatments, she said if it was up to her, she would have it done while I was there in the office." Laurie looked at me intently and said don't put it off. I told her that as soon as I find a job that has insurance I will have it done.

The baby woke from his nap with a fierce cry and Sammy-girl was itching to go outside, so our conversation came to a halt – no more words, only thoughts left unspoken – the moment was gone.

This is one reason why keeping a personal experience with cancer a secret from family – even if it is distant family, is not a good idea. Let it be known, it just might spare a family member from tremendous pain or death. At this point, Laurie's doctor is confident that she will make a full recovery. After months of chemo, she is having surgery to remove what is left of the lump and several lymph nodes after Thanksgiving and radiation treatment will follow. I continue to pray that she will recover and live to raise her children and watch them grow.

It was difficult seeing the sadness in Laurie's eyes as I held her baby boy and did everything she should be having the pleasure of doing. Equally tough was the occasional tear I would see while my daughter was entertaining her two-year old.

Soon Lord, Soon.

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The Pros of Searching for a Job Online - Did I Just Say Pros?

Posted Wednesday, November 11, 2009 (9 days 3 hours ago.) Viewed 1,012 times.

Times have changed since the last time I was searching for a job. It used to be that you walked through the doors of any given company well-dressed, resume in hand, and ready for work. This past week I discovered this is no longer the "proper" method and to do such a thing invites a look that says, "What rock have you been hiding under"?

Seriously, one gentlewoman actually smirked and asked me if I noticed the computer sitting to the side of the reception desk. When I responded with, "yes, however, I wanted to hand deliver my resume", her smug response was, "Well we don't accept paper resumes, we have done everything online for a while now, you should have applied online."

So after pounding the pavement for two days, I decided to ride the wave of change and apply online. Surely these would meet with excellent results, especially since I am well qualified in the areas of administration, accounting, and public relations.

Many of my readers have learned that while I can be sweet, charming, and sensitive (I know, you can throw up now) you also have come to expect my wit and sarcasm. Well who am I to disappoint and since this is my first post in several weeks, why not start with sarcasm. I'll get back to the sweet, charming, and sensitive mumbo jumbo next time around.

Where was I? O' yes, the pros of an online job search. Here is a list of the top six.

6) You can narrow your search by field specification.

5) By posting your resume in one place, you can easily be contacted by anyone.

4) You will receive mass emails about all the contests you have won.

3) You will receive text messages telling you to call a number regarding the "position" you recently applied for.

2) You will receive phone calls from a "manager" who wants to set up an interview regarding the "position" you recently applied for.

1) You increase the possibility of receiving several viruses that cause your computer to crash and you will have to borrow someone else's computer so that you can continue your job search and be of assistance to he or she so that he or she will receive notifications about all the contests he or she has won.

Now that I have released a little bit of frustration, allow to give you a specific example that may help you in your search for a job. I found my experience helpful to my daughter who has only been in the world of full-time work for two years and would not have been suspicious of such things.

I received a call from a woman who introduced herself as the manager of a "highly successful company" who asked me if I was interested in a position where I would be helping families with their financial profiles. She asked a few legitimate questions such as why I left my last place of employment and if I was available for immediate employ. There was a change in her mannerism when I asked her a few basic questions for instance, what kind of benefits does your company offer. She paused a moment and then said it would depend on how our interview went and how I was placed. She quickly offered me a time to come in and she would discuss it further at that time. After confirming the appointment, I did a search on the company and though legitimate, her intentions were not. There were several complaints on the company from other job seekers saying it was a scam and in actuality the position available was for an independent contractor selling their financial products.

When I called her back to tell her what I discovered she said this was not the case with this particular position. She stated I would be working directly for the company and gave me "better" website to visit. She continued to avoid additional questions such as salary range and she didn't have anything at all to say when I asked her how she came across my resume when I did not specifically apply for the position. Nevertheless, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and went to the "better" website. Still unsure, I called her and cancelled my appointment.

My daughter asked me why I was so suspicious and I told her that any manager of a company would be able to answer a simple question about medical insurance.

The bottom line is that anyone searching for a job online must exercise common sense and follow their instincts. The worst thing any of us can do is jump at something because we desperately need a job.

While perusing craigslist with my daughter this morning, we can across our favorite advertised job thus far it went something like this:

Restaurant Hostess/Waitress wanted, females need only apply. Due to the nature of our clientele, we have an age requirement of 21-26 years of age, neat appearance is a must. Starting wage: $30.00 per hour

Why don't they just say, "Raunchy strip club for so-called gentlemen in need of girls who don't mind men gawking at them. We will pay you $30.00 an hour to make it worth your wile."

Again, use sound wisdom, check as many resources as possible before following through with a scheduled interview and do not open the plethora of junk mail you will receive regarding contests or opportunities for education. Respond only to emails or phone calls you receive regarding a specific job for which you have applied. It will save you time and money.

**Special thanks to my mom whom without the generous offer to use her computer, this article would not be possible.**

Teresa Ortiz

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Keeping Your History with Cancer a Secret is Not a Good Idea - A Conversation with my Cousin

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