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Parents Coaches As TeamDr. Peter Pierro (70) ![]() ![]() Dr. Peter Pierro ![]() Peregrine Press of OK Motivating Your Child the Positive, Natural WayPosted Tuesday, January 29, 2008 (1 year 298 days ago.) Viewed 69 times. Are your kids personally interested in what they are choosing to do? We parents use the power of intrinsic motivation and be careful about the use of extrinsic motivation . In my work as a consulting sports psychologist, I very often run into the question, "How do I motivate my players?" and I respond first by telling the story of Ben Curtis and his parents: It is Sunday, July 20, 2003, and the unknown (a truly unknown) Ben Curtis has just shocked the golf world by winning the British Open. Is there a story or lesson for us parents of young children here? Well, yes there is. On the front page of the sports page on Monday, July 21, we get this report: Ben Curtis -- as stunning a British Open champion as there has ever been -- loved golf. Even his parents had no idea how much until that frantic night back in Ostrander, Ohio, when Bob and Janice Curtis went to look in on their 5-year-old son at 11 o'clock and saw an empty bed. "It's dark out and we're running around the house pulling our hair out," Bob Curtis recalled over the telephone Sunday. "And then I looked out the window and there's Ben on the putting green in his pajamas with the floppies, putting." "He'd crawled out of his bed, gone over to the course and turned on the lights in my office so he could keep practicing, I guess that's when we realized that he really loved the game." Ben loved the game. He loved it so much that he went the extra mile and spent the extra time enjoying it and getting better at it. How do we parents motivate our children? We have some choices: 1. We can try to make them follow our good success stories. "I love golf and so will you, or else." 2. We can have them follow their own dreams and support them in their talents and experiences. If you choose #1, you believe in Extrinsic Motivation and you now have two options. The first is to make your child follow your path and punish him whenever he gets off the path. "You will practice the piano two hours a day whether you like it or not and you know what will happen if you don't." You can use your imagination to fill in what "will happen." The message is, "Do what we want you to do or we will make you sorry you didn't." This is Negative Extrinsic Motivation it comes from outside the child and outside the activity. The second is more human (maybe) and we can start using it any time with our kids. In this operation, you decide what your child is going to do and then reward her whenever she does the right thing. This works with young kids, "When you get done practicing the piano, I give you a sticker (or a hug or a popsicle or whatever she child likes and is willing to work for). This sounds like bribery and it is. As she grows older, money and new clothes, and other good things will be required. Bribery gets more expensive all the time. This is Positive Extrinsic motivation and it also comes from outside the child and activity. The message is, "Do what we want you to do and we will make you happy that you did it." Some kids catch on to how the deal works and say, "What do I get if I do what you want me to do?" and the kids are now calling the shots. If you choose to go with #2 you will be using Intrinsic Motivation -- the energy and desire comes from the game itself and from your son's interest in it. I don't think Ben Curtis was competing against anybody out there on that putting green. He was a kid enjoying a part of the game of golf that a kid his age and size could enjoy. This was his choice and his idea of fun he really wanted to play golf and his parents were pleased that he wanted to play and they encouraged him. Everyone was in agreement and when that condition exists, good things happen. So this is what we parents do with our daughter's interest in playing the piano. We furnish her the opportunities to make it real with lessons, music, and above all, we listen to her play and give her positive feedback. If it sounds not so good, you nod your head and say, "I really like the way you are working and practicing." Intrinsic Motivation by its very nature is Positive there is no negative intrinsic motivation. In another article, I'll tell you how a basketball team lost its way to the state tournament because their coach used Positive Extrinsic Motivation. Getting back to answering the original question, I advise the coaches on the two main aspects to having your kids get and stay motivated: 1. Stay motivated yourself and communicate that honestly to the kids by how you coach and talk and act. 2. Ignore the little mistakes that your players make and reinforce the good work with compliments, acknowledgments, and other happy stuff. Peter S. Pierro, EdD parentscoachesasteam.com Permalink Comments (1) Basic Ideas Behind the Natural Path to Learning ProgramPosted Friday, January 25, 2008 (1 year 302 days ago.) Viewed 15 times. I hope you have had a chance to read my article entitled NPL Scenario #1 – At Home With a Very Young Pat.
1. You will be interacting closely with your Child as he learns the meaning and usage of each word in his world. You will be an extremely active and interactive person in this process. 2. Learning words must be experiential – each word your child learns must be a realistic part of his life and experiences.* This learning must include as many of the receptive senses; sight, sound, movement, touch; as possible. VAKT is the code for these senses: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, and Tactile. 3. The learning will begin with concrete words, e.g., Mommy, Daddy, bed, sock spoon, apple, door, chair, pillow. Later, more abstract nouns will be learned in context, e.g., "It's time to eat lunch." Verbs that are part of the child's experiences; walk, eat, run, hug, jump, will be used when appropriate. All learning of facts and concepts will be done in context, that is, they will be part of a real, meaningful experience. 4. The word and the referent will be tied together orally, written, and concrete. The child will experience the spoken word (door), the written word (attached to the door), and be looking at (visual) and touching the door (tactile, kinesthetic). This relationship, the Word Meaning Model, will be emphasized over and over: 1. The Referent – the object; the thing that carries his food to his mouth. 2. The Spoken Word – say the word, "spoon". 3. The Written Word – spoon – spelled s-p-o-o-n. (This will be brought in later when the child is ready for this step). 5. Words will be brought together to make sentences, bringing in ‘connecting' words such as; a, an, and, the, or, but. 6. The learning will be done on your child's level and readiness to learn. The learning in child-centered. I agree with James Hymes when he said, "Your child is ready to learn at all times – it is our task as teachers and parents to determine what he is ready to learn." 7. A complete file of the learned words will be written on Word Strips which will be filed in the Word File. These words will also be used as the child's personal ‘flash cards'. 8. Left-brain and right-brain learning will take place together, reinforcing one another – music and art will be used extensively in introducing some new words. The child will be doing a lot of drawing that will be the basis for learning words. 9. Writing will begin very early – first done by the parent and moved progressively into the child's creations – creative, spontaneous writing will be encouraged. 10. There must be a lot of ‘reading to' the child. These actions and activities should flow easily and naturally as part of your living with your child in whatever family structure or relationship that exists. * The average child entering kindergarten has a vocabulary of 5000 or more words. In my next article we will be dealing with Scenario #Ia - In the Stroller. Pat is still a very young child and it is time to broaden his world . Be sure to join us as we enjoy our walk.
Peter S. Pierro, EdD parentscoachesasteam.com
Permalink Comments (0) NPL Scenario #1 – At Home With a Very Young PatPosted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 (1 year 304 days ago.) Viewed 31 times. Note: This is the first scenario of ten (some more will be added later). We meet Pat for the first time. He is quite young – and not too young to learn. Someone asked me if his child was old enough to start learning to read. I asked, "How old is he?" He answered, "Three," and I said, "You are already three years behind times." In order to simplify the gender issue, Pat is a boy in these scenarios. Pat can be a girl as you read them.
NPL Scenario #1 – At Home With a Very Young Pat V,A,T
The Activity -- Kim is putting Pat down for his nap. She says, "Well, you really are sleepy. Let me wipe your hands with this white towel. Here is your teddy bear. Sleep tight -- I love you. Commentary -- It's no big deal? That's Right! Your child is ready to learn new and ordinary words and he will know that these words (sounds) are connected to something. His condition and "sleepy" go together. Hold your child's hands as you say the word "hands" -- say "towel" as it touches his hands -- say "white" – give him the toy as you say "teddy bear." Don't make a big deal out of it -- this is Natural -- just talk as you use and do things. Use the words in context and there will be a lot of Incidental Learning. We acquire a lot of our information incidentally, without any planning. This is in contrast to the idea of introducing words in a reading or spelling word list. Many of those words are meaningless to the child and there is no good referent for them. We don't have to keep repeating the word or to give it a nice dictionary definition. We learn a lot by doing and watching. We're starting out with only two of the elements; the Referent and the Spoken word, using the Auditory sense. Pat isn't ready to look at the Written word. We are using the most realistic things; hand, towel, toy, bed, sock, spoon, etc., at this time because we need to have Pat gather in a lot of natural experiences, experiences that have words associated with them. The Word Meaning Model: We have now introduced two parts of 1. The Referent – the towel 2. The Spoken Word – "towel" We will get to the third part when Pat is ready for it. 3. The Written Word – t-o-w-e-l This model will be used for quite a while. You simply make this a common communication form with your child. Oh, can you hear the soft music playing on the stereo? It sounds like Mozart to me. Music, Art, Poetry, and Literature are essential parts of the program. Just bring them into the environment and let your child experience them. Later, we'll put words and stories into the Arts world. The End of Scenario #1 The VAKT Designations – At the beginning of each scenario you will see some or all of these letters: VAKT. These letters indicate which of these senses are being used in the scenario learning process: Visual – Using the eyes to get a picture of the word. Auditory – Using the ears to get the sound of the word. Kinesthetic – Using the movement of muscles to get the shape of the word. Tactile – Using the sense of touch to get a feel for the shape of the word. The Word Meaning Model – Reading is reading only when comprehension (meaning) is present. Recently I read an instruction on how to improve my use on this computer. Actually, I was able to pronounce each word but I simply had no idea on what to do. So, in my definition of reading, since there was no comprehension, I did not read that passage. We will keep referring to the Word Meaning Model and the three parts of it: In the early stages we will be using only the Referent and the Spoken Word – the Written Word comes later when the Child is ready and able to make the correct connection. 1. The Referent – the object, e.g., the thing holding the food. 2. The Spoken Word – say the word, "spoon". 3. The Written Word – spoon – spelled s-p-o-o-n. The Commentary Section – The commentary deals with what was done, how it was done, and why it was done this way. Kim says the word FOOT at the same time as she takes hold of Pat's foot and she says SOCK as she is putting the sock on – referent and spoken word together. Later we will add the written word. Incidental Learning – Much of what we learn is learned in real life and we learn new words, ideas, and concepts, as part of an experience. We call this "Learning" and it is highly individual in nature. It includes Creativity and Critical Thinking. The opposite of Incidental Learning we will call Programmed Instruction. This uses a method called "Teaching." Teaching is organized, sequential, one size fits all, and self-contained. It generally tends to be non-creative and predetermined. Numbers and Colors – Words dealing with number and color will occur naturally. Give them their names when the occasion presents itself. When your child sees a nice new car you can say, "That red car does look nice." and "I like those blue flowers in that yard." Also, number concepts; one, two, large, small, big, little, heavy, light, high, low, penny, nickel, etc., will occur naturally and in context. Peter S. Pierro, EdD parentscoachesasteam.comPermalink Comments (0) |
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