riathompson blogWisteria Thompson (64)   Wisteria Thompson   Ria Rental Reviews Psycho- ReviewPosted Monday, February 18, 2008 (157 days 2 hours ago.) Viewed 20 times. Marion just smiles and nods, fakes a headache, and runs off with the money. You know, I really like this lady, I should look her number up in the Arizona phone book, and ask if we can be friends. Think about it, she has two options at this point. Marion could go out with Rich Guy for months, tolerate his bad jokes, crappy personality and lousy lovemaking techniques, just to get her hands on his cash, credit cards, and checkbook. Why deal with that when you can just cut to the chase and run off with the 40 thou that is dumped right in front of you? Marion drives to California, pulls to the side of the road to catch some zzzz' s when Mr. Police Officer shows up. He asks her some questions, all the while she has the words GUILTY AS SIN plastered all over her face. The cop is suspicious, follows her into town and watch as she trades her car in for one with California plates. Okay, now she's driving again, thinking of all the dumb stuff that might be said about her on Monday when everyone finds out she's missing along with the 40 thou. It starts raining, she pulls off the main road into the Bates Motel. She meets Nice-looking Norman who is also very polite and cordial. He even offers to fix her something to eat since driving to a diner with be a major pain about now. So Norman goes up to the house, and all of us, including Marion hear this argument between Norman, and his mom who doesn't want strange women hanging around. Oh well, whatever. Norman is back with dinner. Okay, what do we have here, it. ......looks.......like.......a couple pieces of bread......... and some peanut butter? Norman, YOU AND YOUR MOM HAVE LOUSY HOSPITALITY SKILLS! An attractive woman stops by your motel, hungry as I don't know what, and the best you can offer her is a kiddie sandwich? What you need to do is tell mom to get lost, get in that kitchen, and broil a couple of Rib Eyes with a baked potato on the side! Better yet, call the nearest Chinese Food Restaurant, and have them bring over some Egg Foo Young, and Shrimp with Lobster Sauce right away! If Marion doesn't eat it, call me up, and I'll be on the next flight out there! Oh wait, if I do that, I might not make it back home, so forget it. So now Marion's eating, while Norman talks about dumb stuff, then she's off to bed-alone thank you! Norm sneaks a peek at her through a small hole in the wall, goes up to his house, and now we have the famous shower scene. To sum it up, Marion takes a shower, mom comes in with knife, slashes her along with scary movie playing, leaves, and Marion dies. I wonder how they got her to lie still like that without blinking? Norm comes rushing in, shocked to see what has happened, and spends a least twenty minutes of my precious viewing time disposing of Marion's body, and cleaning up the scene of the crime. While this was going on, I was able to wash some dishes, and make a quick phone call. Several days later, Marion's sister Lila (Vera Miles), shows up in California at Sam's place at work asking questions when a detective (Martin Balsam) also walks in demanding answers. Now see, I like Lila. She's tough, strong willed, and determined, in contrast to the nosy, and irritating detective who gets paid to be that way. Let me give you an example. Next scene, Nosy Detective finds his way to the Bates Motel, runs into Norm, and starts asking him uncomfortable, and intrusive questions while trying to find out about Marion. Then he sneaks into the Bates house without so much as an invitation. Detective, I don't like you very much. That's why Norm's mom did a number on your face and you fell down the stairs, Mr. A-R-B-O-G-A-S-T, or whatever your name is. Meanwhile, Lila and Sam get worried, Sam takes a trip out to the motel looking for the now dead detective, Sam comes back and goes to the sheriff's house with Lila, but don't find out anything. The next day, Sam and Lila plot to go out to the Bates Hotel, check in as man and wife, and search the place. Then Sam gets the hero bug, and decides to confront Norm about Marion and the 40 thou. Sam, you really got off easy in this movie. Be glad that you only suffered a blow to the back of your head, because Norm could have easily pulled out a Beretta 80, and blew your head off for getting on his nerves. The conclusion? Lila sneaks into the house looking for the Mom, finds a corpse, in runs Norm dressed in his mom's outfit, ready to kill Lila who is then saved by Sam. So we find out that Norm killed his mom (and other women along the way) sometime back and took over her personality and voice while trying to keep his own. Hey Norm, I have one question for you, how are you able to sound just like an 80 year old woman? Did you take Ventriloquist or voice-over classes or something? Can you teach me how to do that too? 
Permalink Comments (0) The Art of Sneaking Food into the Movie TheaterPosted Sunday, January 27, 2008 (178 days 9 hours ago.) Viewed 145 times. If you must go to a movie theater, you will pay premium price for a movie ticket, but you can go cheap on food by following my guidelines in this article to save yourself some money. Who knows, maybe you're already sneaking in stuff, but if not, I'll guide you on your quest not to get ripped off by high priced movie theaters. Not only is this article about my techniques, but its also about the certain kinds of food you should sneak in, and what to avoid, so let's get started. No woman should go to any movie theater without her huge tote bag hanging on her shoulders in order to make sure she can carry the maximum amount of items in it without having to buy a single thing from the concession stand. Now ladies, if you're afraid that some nosy theater manager or movie usher will demand to look in your purse, don't worry, just throw some dirty underwear or socks on top, so if they peak in your bag, that's the first thing they'll see and immediately get embarrassed, and look no further. I've never had to open my purse for anyone, but you never know. Just make sure that you don't forget to take those items out of your bag when you get home, you don't want to be walking around and someone asks you for a pen, and you pull out a nasty pair of panties instead. Now, guys, unless you have a huge trench coat that you can immediately hide a burger in, forget about it. You will just have to pay full price for everything, including the movie ticket. Hey, it's better this way. Unless you' re with your buddies, do you really want your date to think you're a cheapo when you ask her,"Hey baby, can you please stash my burrito from taco bell in that purse of yours?" Let's now talk about some goodies to bring in. Get yourself some Sourpatch Kids, Snickers, and Reese's candy from any drug or food store. Just remember, all of these items are under a $1 a piece, so you should be able to stock up just nicely, and you'll blend in well with the other people in the theater. Think about it, everyone will be eating the same thing, but you'll be able to pat yourself on the back for not spending almost $5 for a box of Milk Duds. Next, visit your local McDonald's, and if you live in the States, there should be one on every corner. Go directly to the dollar menu, and stock up on burgers, fries, but don't get a drink, I'll talk about that later on. If you like hot dogs, then go to your nearest hot dog stand and get the biggest dog you can find for no more than $2. I would suggest tacos, but with all that crunching going on, you will look and sound conspicuous in the theater, and someone might rat you out. Chips, you can get anywhere, but if you must have movie theater popcorn for the cheapest price, this is what you should do. Get yourself some microwave popcorn, pop it, melt some butter, put in on top, and you're set. Throw in some gummy worms, or orange slices, shake it up, put in a brown bag, and you' re good to go. Now for drinks, any kind goes, however, stick to the 16 fl oz plastic bottles. Cans make too much noise when opened, and let's say that you drink some and have half of a can left, then suddenly in comes a nosy usher down your isle, and you have to hide your drink, what are you going to do? Now if you have the plastic bottle and its only half full, put the top back on it so that you can immediately shove it into your purse or a coat if you need to. Don't forget to try this technique at the dollar show to save even more money. I used to do this all the time at the Dollar Theater near my home. I wonder if that's why they went out of business?
Permalink Comments (1) Saw Iii-Ria's Dvd ReviewPosted Friday, January 25, 2008 (180 days 9 hours ago.) Viewed 11 times. I made sure to watch SAW III in broad daylight, so that I wouldn't go to sleep immediately afterwards and have nightmares. When the movie ended, I promptly listened to ten Frank Sinatra songs so that my subconscious could reprogram itself and I wouldn't be left emotionally traumatized by the extreme brutality in the movie. Let me start from the beginning. I pop in the DVD, and in the first scene, I just hear a guy hollering and screaming, lights flashing, and I'm like, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Oh, its just Detective Eric Matthew's (Donnie Wahlberg) big mouth. Somehow I manage to grab a glimpse of a foot in a shackle, and some kind of a saw. Then I hear all this crunching, and I thinking to myself, "IS THIS GUY TRYING TO CUT OFF HIS FOOT? Then I hear all the screaming, then the movie starts. Well, that's it, I'm emotionally scarred for life, but for the sake of bringing you this review, I watched on. Saw III takes over where the second one left off, when Detective Matthews does stupid stuff and ends up being captured by Jigsaw's emo assistant, Amanda Young (Shawnee Smith). Detective Matthews didn't cut his foot off, he just broke his ankle in order to escape, but I'm not so sure that was a good idea. What was he going to do, hop or crawl to safety? And where would that be, I reckon? What he should have done was calm down and play dead, so that when Amanda comes to check up on him, he can knock the crap out of her. Now there is another death near the beginning of the movie, but its relatively unimportant, so lets move on now. Two more people are captured, a man (Angus Macfadyen) grieving over his deceased son (victim of a hit and run), and a doctor (Bahar Soomekh). You know, these people must live in the suburbs, because us city folks are trained for combat. I mean, just think about it. If Emo Amanda, and old goat face Jigsaw are the only ones doing the kidnapping, I could do some serious kung fu on both of them before they even thought about capturing me. Moving on, Amanda attaches a booby trapped collar to the doomed doctor. Her test? To keep Jigsaw alive until her husband (oops, I just gave it away, yes, she is married to the man with the grieving son, however, you don't find that out until the movie is almost over) pass his tests. Oh, I forgot to mention, the collar that the doomed doctor is wearing is hooked up to Jigsaw's heart monitor, so if it flat-lines, or if she tries to escape, then boom! Okay so doctor starts surgery in this dungeon-she splits open his skull after giving him a local anesthesia. Huh? Is this a new procedure or something? Whatever, okay doomed doctor, this is your chance, you don't have to end his life, just give him a drug to make him slip into a deep sleep, then deal with emo chick. Sigh. Must I do all the thinking here? Of course none of my brilliant ideas are utilized, and to make a long story short, she ends up dead near the end of the movie. Now to grieving man. There' s not much to say about him. He goes from one test to another, encountering people who were involved (directly and indirectly) to his son's death. His job? To forgive and rescue them from the traps set by jigsaw. Needless to say, he does a horrible job at this, and is the last man standing. He finally makes it to Jigsaw's room, shoots Amanda, and now he has two choices. Does he allow Jigsaw to call an ambulance to rescue doomed doctor that's fading away fast, or does he takes his nasty revenge, and send Jigsaw to the Rubix Cube in the sky? Needless to say, he takes the dumb route, slicing Jigsaw's throat, who ends up getting the last laugh by activating the collar, and locking the door they're occupying. I'm gonna have to write a couple of books. First one, How Not to Get Captured by Weirdos, and the second, How to Stay Alive as a character in a horror film. I give the movie four stars, minus 1 1/2 stars for the extreme and unnecessary torture. So lets see 4 minus 1 1/2 equals 2 1/ 2.
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