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Scot McKay - Dating Coach ^(6,447) United States

Scot McKay - Dating Coach

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When It Comes To Dating, Don't Be A "Schleprock"

Posted Wednesday, September 30, 2009 (51 days 12 hours ago.) Viewed 212 times.

If you have no idea who "Schleprock" was, don't feel bad. You kind of have to have been a kid in the 70's to have an idea.

You've probably heard of "The Flintstones" though, of course. Fred and Barney live on in syndicated popularity some forty years after first gracing prime time TV back in the 60s (yesthe show originally was targeted at all ages).

Well, a few years later Hanna and Barbera decided to spin-off a kids' show featuring Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm as teenagers. One of the characters in this now relatively obscure cartoon series was named Schleprock.

Now to say that bad luck followed Schleprock would be an understatement. Basically a dark cloud LITERALLY followed the guy everywhere. And whenever he showed up, you could be ALL BUT SURE something rotten was about to happen.

As far as personality is concerned, picture "Eeyore on steroids" and you aren't too far off.

Decades later, the show has been all but relegated to the vault, but Schleprock himself has become archetypal in a weird sort of way.

Maybe you've seen the movie Boiler Room, and remember how Ben Affleck dismissed the first casualty during the classic "group interview" scene by saying, "C'mon, let's go Schleprockout!"

But I think some of us have gotten to the point where we identify with Schleprock just a little too closely.

ESPECIALLY when it comes to women.

Believe me, I hear the sob stories detailing "limiting beliefs" all the time.

Guys all over the world believe that they're not good enough to attract a high quality women. And even if they believe they are, for some reason they're under the impression that all these crazy women just don't-and won't-like them back.

Dozens of times over I've heard the mantra, "I guess I just have no luck with women".

Well here it is, Schleprock. You do NOT have a "dark cloud" following you around. Not in real life, at least.

Don't get me wrong, I won't begin to doubt that there are TONS of guys out there-possibly even reading this newsletter-who have experienced the Schleprock-like phenomenon of BAD STUFF seeming to happen around them ALL THE TIME.

But luck has NOTHING to do with it.

And that's the BEST NEWS possible. Because, you see, that means (as is the case with most issues with women we as guys face) you can DO SOMETHING about it.

Let me just spell it out for you.

I believe "The Schleprock Factor" follows a very predictable formula. And here it is:

NEGATIVITY + IRRESPONSIBILITY = SCHLEPROCK

At the risk of underscoring what may be altogether self-evident from that equation itself, let's break it down a bit.

When we have a NEGATIVE attitude, we essentially lack confidence, don't we? We see a situation and expect the worst. We see a task before us, and we naturally presume ultimate failure upon it.

And following logically, we project that kind of failure on others also.

Call it a "poverty mentality" or whatever, but whether our vision for others to fail is driven either by our discomfort with their success OR by a genuine assumption of negative outcome, it really doesn't matter.

The ramifications are the same: NOBODY IS GOING TO PARTICULARLY ENJOY HANGING OUT WITH US.

This goes DOUBLE for MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex). After all, confidence is one of the "Big Four".

And on top being a BUMMER, negativity and failure have this way of being contagious. Ouch.

It's no wonder you hear so many self-help "gurus" talking about "ridding one's life of negative people". Right?

For sure, simply having a negative attitude may be enough to trigger "The Schleprock Factor".

But wait, there's more.

Compounding simple NEGATIVITY in the equation is IRRESPONSIBILITY.

You remember IRRESPONSIBILITY. That's the trait that causes younger women to IGNORE guys their own age and FLOCK to older men.

Seriouslyit's not the gray hair, man.

Irresponsibility involves making bad decisions, including both errors of omission and commission.

Being irresponsible, besides being a strong indicator that one lacks wisdom (i.e. life experience), also demonstrates that we lack SELF-RESPECT enough to guard ourselves from BAD consequences.

Think about it.

So ultimately, when you mesh a NEGATIVE outlook with BAD decision-making, you essentially blow ATTRACTION out of the picture.

In light of all this, let's go down the "Big Four" checklist and take inventory.

Let's see No confidence? No attraction.

Masculinity? Assuming the worst and having bad judgment aren't exactly the earmarks of a provider OR a protector, are they?

And when you're decision-making and self-respect are at play, how can you possibly expect to INSPIRE CONFIDENCE in a woman? Is that the kind of leadership she will gladly choose to follow?

Finally, what about character? Well, I don't exactly see Schleprock enshrined in the Great Man Hall Of Fame.

If what I'm talking about sounds like "tough love", I make no apologies.

But REMEMBER ALWAYSthe fact that YOU CONTROL "The Schleprock Factor" is GOOD NEWS.

And as always, it all comes down to deserving what you want.

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Should You "Clean The Pipes" Before Going On A Date?

Posted Wednesday, September 30, 2009 (51 days 12 hours ago.) Viewed 59 times.

If you've seen the movie There's Something About Mary, you're probably familiar with the conversation between Ben Stiller and Chris Elliott about "The Loaded Gun Theory".

Essentially, the premise is that when you go out on a date with a woman, it's probably a good idea to "rub one out" rather than show up at her doorstep with only one thing on your mind.

Well, when this particular topic came up in conversation recently (excuse the unintended pun) I decided to do a bit of research.

As it turns out, assuming you word your Google search in a way that doesn't result in a barrage of porn sites, you'll quickly find that almost everyone who has thought about the topic du jour has come to the same conclusion: It's best to masturbate before going on a hot date.

The reasons cited are generally twofold:

1) It takes the "pressure" off

2) If something physical WERE to happen on the date, you'd be less likely to be a "two pump chump".

Granted, conventional wisdom would point to this all being solid logic. But not so fast.

The problem with "conventional wisdom", as so eloquently pointed out by Freakonomics author Steven Levitt, is that it usually is based on the EASIEST conclusion to draw rather than what may perhaps be the CORRECT one.

And the more I consider the "Loaded Gun Theory", the more I'm beginning to believe there's more to think about than what's on the surface.

In fact, I'd like to challenge you to consider if it's actually best to store it up for a few days before a particularly anticipated meeting with a woman. Here's why.

First of all, I have a sneaking suspicion that when we as guys are physically geared up for sexual excitement, we just may radiate more of a sexual (read: "masculine") presence physiologically.

Forget "pheromone spray", gentlemen. My gut feeling is that when you're flat out horny, women can somehow sense thatand the woman in them "wakes up" physiologically.

As I said, I really couldn't find anything to support this hypothesis on Google, but consider some of the buzz surrounding MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) based on their various possible states of sexual readiness, hormone levels, etc.

Indeed, women tend to spend more time thinking about this sort of thing, and some of the ideas that have gained traction over the years include how women tend to have a certain "glow" about them when pregnant, and how when a woman is at her MOST FERTILE point in her monthly cycle she's ALSO at her sexual peakeven, perhaps, as unconsciously acknowledged my men around her.

So here it is: Considering we're all human beings here, why wouldn't a similar but gender-specific set of premises hold true for us as men?

Further, I think that if you're more sexually tuned up in the moment, you're more likely to feel that much more excitement in your soul when engaging an attractive woman on a date. And that kind of energy can lead to some serious fireworks (the key word being "lead", as always).

The analogy of what happens when you go grocery shopping while hungry may not be far off here. If you've just visited an "all you can eat" buffet you're more likely to postpone hitting the supermarket until tomorrow.

But if you missed lunch and are starving, you probably can't wait to go food shopping.

I've actually run the ideas I've just described by several women over the last few days, and they ALL agreed with meASSUMING the guy was mature enough to stay in control of things.

It goes like this: Women actually LOVE IT when a man radiates primal sexuality on a date.

What they DON'T love is when guys act like Neanderthals. They don't like feeling pressured and/or "used".

Interesting.

So I have a feeling that "personal control" may in fact be the kicker here.

Let's face it; if you are hungry when you hit the grocery store you may spend twice as much money on stuff you'll probably never get around to eating before it goes bad. But ONLY if you lack discipline.

And yes, if you're about ready to drill a hole in your mattress by the time you meet up with a woman, you may have "tunnel vision" and come off as too sex-focused or even DESPERATE when you're with her.

But againthat will ONLY hold true if you lack discipline.

What we have here, gentlemen, could actually be a very real LITMUS TEST by which we can measure whether or not we have MASTERY over our own sexuality or not.

That's heavy duty, isn't it?

If you can't handle the heat, then yesyou'd probably better "clean the pipes" before a date.

But that would be your loss.

Because considering that women are actually ROCKED TO THE CORE by being in the presence of a man who is both sexually charged and self-disciplined, if you CAN keep your composure when in that state you might very well have a WILDLY POWERFUL advantage over most other guys out there.

And I'm not going to discount that this may be yet another piece of the puzzle as to why older guys can attract younger women who think guys their own age are "so immature".

As for the "two pump chump argument, by the way, even that may be less of an issue than you think.

Contrary to popular belief (there's that "conventional wisdom" again), a woman may actually be FLATTERED if you blast off quickly your first time together. I can guarantee it beats the opposite scenario.

Besides, if she's that hot, don't you think you'd have a "second round" in you somewhere?

What do you think? Can you field-test everything we're talking about here without freaking out? Can you believe that a woman may in fact respond to you in a completely new and powerful way?

At the very least, I can assure you that if you CAN handle all of this and apply it, you'll be operating at a level that most guys can't touch. And you'll probably enjoy your dates that much more, all the while becoming the newly crowned world champ at ramping up sexual tension.

After all, what guy DOESN'T want to gain every available advantage when it comes to separating himself from the "herd" and realizing the ability to attract the very highest quality women on Earth?

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