There's been at least one in every company for which I've worked. It didn't make any difference if I was full-time, part-time, permanent, contract, or consultant. At least one individual in the organization evidently had made it his or her life's goal to make my work life as miserable as possible. In most cases it wasn't intentional; in at least two cases it most definitely was. And I can almost guarantee that I am not in the minority on this one. If you have never had to deal with a co-worker who was difficult, annoying, rude, or downright mean, you haven't been in the work force very long – and boy, you're going to have some interesting and exciting experiences ahead of you!
You might have to work with someone who has an annoying habit (or two), or who inadvertently makes comments to others at inappropriate times. Perhaps you have a supervisor who repeatedly ignores you or puts down your suggestions in favor of someone else's. An individual in another work group treats you as if you are his personal assistant and expects you to fulfill his requests even if it means ignoring your boss's instructions. Then there are the situations that can have serious repercussions – the co-worker who is taking office supplies from work to supplement his home-run business, the manager who tells you to pad the numbers in your department's budget so he can purchase those "extra" items, the department head who suggests that an after-hours relationship could be beneficial to your career advancement. These are not mere annoyances, but can adversely affect your attitude, your career, and ultimately other aspects of your life.
The gut reaction with people like this is to offer the, uh, "international gesture of goodwill" (ahem) and go on with life. That might work in a fair and perfect world; as we all know, our world is far from being either fair or perfect. As much as we'd like to avoid these types of people, sometimes the work environment requires that we associate with people that we'd rather not. In many instances, refusing to work with certain people (especially supervisors) can be viewed by the company as a valid reason for termination. So what do you do? You do what you need to do to maintain your credibility while getting the job done – and it doesn't require sucking up or brown-nosing. Here are some helpful hints to make your situation bearable and protect yourself and your integrity.
Check Your Behavior
It's not easy to admit we're wrong. But sometimes we are responsible for our own bad karma. Sit down and take an honest inventory of yourself. Does the guy in the cubicle next to you harp about your noise levels because he's a jerk – or do you really play your radio too loudly in the office? Is your supervisor unreasonable in her demands for documentation on hours worked in the office – or do you consistently arrive at work late and leave early, and take longer breaks than necessary? Make sure your behavior isn't the catalyst for the problems you see occurring between your co-workers and you. If you find areas in your work behavior that need to be modified, correct them first. If making appropriate changes doesn't resolve the problem, then you've assured yourself the fault is not with you.
Maintain a Professional Attitude
Sure, it's only natural to want to lash out at the guy who puts all of his personal phone calls on his speaker phone and talks loudly enough for everyone in your building to hear, and then complains how you listen in to his private conversations (don't laugh, it happens). He's the one acting like a brainless goofball, but don't step down to his level just to make a point. You need to maintain an attitude of professionalism if your concerns are to be given any credibility. This is especially true in situations where legal recourse may be necessary to resolve a given situation.
Limit Personal Contact
I'm not saying avoid the individual (if it were that easy, I wouldn't need to write this article, and you wouldn't need to read it!). I AM saying to keep one-on-one contact to a bare minimum. Whenever possible, make sure you meet with this person in group settings, even if it's only by bringing along another co-worker to make a threesome. Those conversations that occur between just the two of you can rapidly deteriorate, and can come back to haunt you if there's ever a he said/she said rehashing of the discussion in front of superiors. Which is why the next suggestion is vitally important to follow…
Communicate Only in Writing
"I never said that!" "Oh, yes, you told me that…!" Avoid this kind of miscommunication and deal with people exclusively in writing whenever possible. Whether via memo (on official company letterhead) or email (from your work email account), keep a copy of your documentation on file so that if questions ever arise, you have concrete evidence to validate your position. Don't hesitate to forward additional copies to appropriate supervisors or managers (yours); but don't send a copy to everybody all the way up the chain of command. Notify the big bosses on both sides concerning every offense and you'll learn two things: 1) Your big-ticket complaints are more likely to be ignored because 2) you're viewed as a tattletale and a troublemaker.
Find an Alternative Contact
In situations where maintaining a professional attitude with an individual is simply too difficult, try finding another person with whom you can conduct your business and nurture a more positive relationship. If possible, deal with the individual's immediate supervisor or higher. If conflicts still arise, your response can be, "I'm sorry if you don't understand, but I talked with your manager and he told me to…" This puts the individual in the position of having to deal with his superiors and fight with them concerning items you've done with their approval.
Seek Professional Counsel
If you're still having difficulty with a particular work relationship, see if your company has an internal employee assistance program (EAP) or provides access to outside counseling service. No, it doesn't mean you're losing your sanity. A non-biased outsider can often provide additional insight into identifying problems and suggesting solutions. If nothing else, you can discover why you react to the situations in the workplace the way you do, and learn methods to more effectively deal with those you are unable to change. You can't change other people, but you can always change your reactions towards them. Professional counseling offers that option.
In the case of situations where you're asked to compromise company security or your morals in order to retain your job, counsel of a different type may be necessary. Check to see if organizations exist in your community that fight these types of employer abuse and provide legal services for no or low cost. If not, check around for a reputable lawyer with experience in this type of case, and make sure you have all your documentation on hand when you first meet with the lawyer. If you didn't write down everything when it happened, it can only hurt you in the long run.
The stresses of the work environment are bad enough when things go right. Working with people who cause problems for you, whether intentional or not, just makes things more complicated. But you can get through the difficulties in the situation. Stay calm, focus on the job at hand, remain professionally detached, and keep the appropriate people informed. Even if the offending party never changes, you will have altered your approach to dealing with the issue, and will come through a stronger person no matter what the outcome.
