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Home » Categories » Home Life » Parenting » Lazy, Thy Name Is Housewife » Printer Friendly

Lisa Barker

Lazy, Thy Name Is Housewife

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Submitted Monday, November 06, 2006
Lisa Barker (451)
Lisa Barker

http://www.LisaBarker.com
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For some reason, the vacuum cleaner died the other day when I was cleaning the sofas. While I was using the hose extension, the rollers ate up and melted the throw rug we have. It left these hard little grooves in the carpet and it ate up pieces of the electrical cord.

I showed my husband when he got home from work.

"Geez, the lengths you'll go to, to avoid housework."

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Just because I can shrink just about any piece of clothing I wash, burn up the carpet with the vacuum and clog up the sink when I wash dishes doesn't mean I am trying to get out of chores. It just means I am homemaking challenged.

And this is not what you want to be when you are a stay-at-home mom.

How hard can it be?

Like most women my age, I grew up during a period where our mothers had us avoid homemaking classes and clubs that prized those skills because they were unworthy of us. We were young women that had inherited the fruits of feminism. We no longer needed to bother ourselves with learning such things like how to care for our families and ourselves. Those were interests better suited for sissies and unenlightened young women.

At least, that was the impression I got so long ago. These skills were so easy that anybody could pick them up simply by breathing if they weren’t already born with the knowledge.

Fast forward thirty years later. I wasn’t born with the knowledge, yet my vocation is marriage and the sub-vocation is motherhood. My husband won’t let me iron his clothes because I might make a boo-boo. I’ve been practicing for twelve years now and I’m still dying everyone’s underwear pink. And I’ve discovered that learning homemaking skills by breathing is just a made up story because inhaling bleach in a small poorly ventilated room – such as a BATHROOM – makes me woozy.

You see, staying at home and raising a family is like running your own business. There’s more to it than meets the eye. We were wrong to ever think this vocation was unworthy. We were wrong to fail to prepare for it. But no one ever saw it that way until recently as moms translate the skills they learn at home to run successful home-based businesses.

I hope to follow in their footsteps. Someday this house will be orderly and organized and I won’t set off all the smoke detectors when I cook. Maybe I’ll even figure out what to do with the sewing machine I have in the back of the coat closet buried under assorted broken umbrellas.

But for now I’ll work on the laundry. Small steps.

---------------------------------------------------
©Lisa Barker - Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane...Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the complimentary Jelly Mom™ weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!


LISA BARKER wrote the Jelly Mom article from 2004-2009.  While she no longer writes the column, she does have two books available and a third pending all filled with her side-splitting humor.  Visit LisaBarker.com for all the details.



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Comments on this article: (2 total)


» left by Jean from Houston (3 years 3 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Been there, done that - on all of the above! Thanks for the good laugh! Best of luck to you on your quest. After 20 years of trying, I finally figured out the trick - hire a cleaning service!
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» left by Laura T from Tomball (3 years 3 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I totally agree. What were our moms thinking? My son said tonight, "Remember when you used to wash dishes during nap? why don't you do that on the weekend?" yes, I felt the failure rising inside me. Thanks for the great article! Glad to know there are others out there. :)
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on 11/6/2006 2:31:46 PM.
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