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Writing and
speaking have very different economics. One affords you time, the other cheats
you of it. That is the trouble with comebacks. The timing of their delivery is
so important. Children approaching or in the midst of their teen years, can be
somewhat, shall we say “smart." What comes out of their mouths can really
smart.
Comebacks
are highly valued among teens. If parents have them in stock, teens are less
interested in delivering “smart" answers. Parents challenged with poor timing
can cope with comebacks by spending a few minutes to learn the FDIC method.
FDIC is really an investment where you hope to get no return. It’s a
confounding principle.
F - First,
find your filler. This is the artful way of buying time to connect with your
comeback by saying things like, “Oh, yeah. You don’t say. Say what? Is that so.
Oh really. Uh huh." This provides you
a few nanoseconds to go back through our mental files for the right comeback.
Serve your filler with a look similar to the one you get from your own teen
when they don’t believe you. (No matter what the topic, that look is the same.)
Speed is of the essence as too long of a pause is a tip off to your panicked
mental challenge. Kids have an instinctive sixth sense for panic, like dogs do,
so stay cool.
D- Decide
and deliver. The secret is preparation.
You are banking on a series of canned messages that you have in reserve.
Memorize a limited number of comebacks and stick with them. I recommend no more
than three. You can change these up every once in a while. Practice them so you
get smooth. Once I tried to refer to some I had recorded in a little notepad.
Snappy comebacks lose something when read between glances at flipping pages.
I – Inject
humor into your comeback. Keep it simple and you won’t sound stupid. Some
examples might be things like, “Stupidity isn’t a crime. You’re free to go." I
take a shine to “If I wanted your opinion I would have given it to you." Noting
that brevity is the soul of wit, we have “Only words" or the thought provoking
“New talent." Stay away from sayings like “Your mama" for obvious reasons.
C – Call it
off! Don’t stand there too long. Deliver your line with “the look" again, turn
on a dime with a twist of the head, and get away. If you should happen to get
stuck and forget your comeback line, just get away giving only the look. Grant
had to withdraw sometimes too. While you are walking it off, you can beat
yourself up over the perfect comeback you just thought of, but would sound lame
if you yelled over your shoulder now. Deposit it in your memory bank for next
time. It will come back to you with interest.
Dealing
with comebacks won’t save you 15% on your car insurance, but you can save some
face. Oh, and these tips are applicable for dealing with adults too. No
insurance necessary. FDIC.
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