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Today’s teenagers face a massive amount of input from various sources. Television, radio, the internet, their peers, and many others distractions are part of their everyday lives. The amount of visual and auditory stimuli is at an all time high. Almost every second of every day kids are exposed to a multitude of things that can interest them and take their attention away from what is really important in life. Being a part of a functioning family unit is important and oftentimes not thought of in today’s fast food, computer and video game culture.
Sometimes when a parent figure asks a child to help with a specific chore around the house, like taking out the rubbish, the child makes excuses that he/she is too busy to help out. Teenagers often use having homework to finish or a test to study for as excuses to not do chores but realistically the chores often only take a few minutes and completing the chore is a necessary part of being responsible inside a family unit. An easy fix for most chore related problems is to rotate the chores on a weekly or monthly basis. This way, the excuse of being bored with the same chore can not happen. With multiple children this is applicable. With a single child, the parent must help out and lead by example.
A common mistake many parents make is using money as a way to get their children to do chores. It is best if the children are given an allowance that is not specifically tied to completion of the chores. It is important because everyone in the household must pitch in when things need to be done around the house. It is simply part of being a family member. By using money to foster behavioural change, parents are not utilizing the best way to get someone to do something – it is related to bribing which falls under the Seven Deadly Habits of External Control, as discussed by William Glasser. We want them to complete their chores to help them develop responsibility and skills that they will take into adulthood, not because they are being rewarded with money.
A great way to get started is to compile a list of what needs to be done around the house. Things like mowing the lawn, feeding any pets, taking out the trash, cooking dinner, cleaning the dishes, sweeping the floors or using the vacuum, on and on the list goes. There are many fun things that the family can do together and this will, in turn, lead to a stronger bond when it is time for the young ones to go out on their own. When one child sets up the table and another helps prepare the food, this develops a great synergy and consistency within the household. Asking the children what they want to do is another way to build a feeling of teamwork. If they have a choice in the matter, they will not feel like they are being forced to do something they do not want to do.
By teaching responsibility at a young age, parents are giving their children an amazing gift that will pay many dividends down the road. All it takes is a little preparation and teamwork to make it happen.
Tracy Tresidder M.Ed is a professional parent and teen coach. Parents - learn how to assist your children to build lives of confidence, courage and compassion. Discover the seven simple steps to create a mutually loving and respectful relationship with your teenager. Go to http://www.coaching4teenagers.com.au to see the programs that are available now. Tracy is also the lead instructor for the Academy for Family Coach Training in Australasia where you can train to become a certified parent and teen coach. The 10 month Advanced Coaching Course, held in Australia on an annual basis, is the only ICF accredited Parent and Teen Coach Training Course in the world to offer CCE certification. Visit the website for more course details.http://www.familycoachtraining.com/advcoaching.html |
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