We embarked on Carnival’s Legend
on October 23rd for an eight-day cruise to the southern Caribbean. We
looked forward to a vacation filled with drinks adorned with umbrellas,
days lounging at poolside, shopping and sightseeing in exotic islands
and locales, St. Maarten, Barbados and Martinique and, food, food, food!
I
had been under the impression, based on “conventional wisdom" that
Carnival cruses were aimed at younger guests, perhaps those in their
20’s or 30’s, either in couples or, perhaps, with young children or
teens. I had noticed that, in recent commercials, there were now a few
images of older couples, not old but certainly more mature. But, still,
there was that image in my mind.
My
wife, Joan, and I, in our very early 70’s, had been on cruises with
Celebrity, Norwegian Cruse Lines and Princess (a Carnival-owned
company). The cruises were uniformly wonderful and cruising swiftly has
become our favorite kind of holiday. Still, the demographics bothered
me to some extent. According to Carnival, 30 percent of its passengers
are under the age of 35, 40 percent are between 35 and 55, and 30
percent are over 55.
However,
the son of two close friends (whom I’ll call “Lida" and “Roy",
primarily because that’s their names) works for Carnival and arranged
for tickets for the four of us. So, on Sunday, we slept at our friends’
home and left early for Fort Lauderdale to begin our adventure.
We boarded the ship early on Monday and took the opportunity to explore and find our way about.
Legend
is a magnificent ship. Our cabins were on the Panorama Deck, the eighth
of twelve decks and the highest deck with staterooms. Above us were
four decks with pools, spas, exercise tracks and enough restaurants,
snack bars, and regular bars to ensure that no passenger died of
starvation or lack of fluids! Unfortunately, as I will explain, our
cabin was directly beneath the 24-hour pizzeria! But on this first day, we spent the time to familiarize ourselves with the ship and some of the public lounges and dining rooms.
The first thing one notices on Legend
is the atrium than runs from the second deck upward for a total of nine
decks. Glass enclosed elevators make each trip up and down, amidships,
an opportunity to view and enjoy a view that is pure excess! Roman urns
are set into the walls, a giant painting of a semi-nude Colossus of
Rhodes covers one wall and, generally, the ornate display is garish and
lavish and, somehow, fits in quite well. The lounges and bars are
spread throughout the ship and seem to cater to all tastes and
proclivities. There are jazz venues, piano bars, and one,
Dreamland, has a sports motif, lots of television sets scattered around
cocktail tables and, yes, another bar. (This bar had slot machines
built in, just in case one did not lose too much in the main casino.)
We look forward to, perhaps, watching the New York Giants-Tampa Bay
Buccaneers game the following Sunday. Alas, the television on the ship
gets it signals from Denver (Denver?) and our Bucs do not display their
ineptitude for our viewing.
By
now, it’s time for our life jacket and life boat drill. The
announcement mentions that this is a requirement by law and we are
assured by crew that it is very unlikely that the ship will sink. After
a week’s worth of food, I am not too sure of the passengers, however.
Dinner
is in the Truffles restaurant, a two-deck elegant restaurant with
attending waiters, white gloves and all, and assistants and other
minions all determined to make dining a pleasure and an experience.
They succeed and it is. We enjoyed a menu that was extensive and varied. We found the food on Legend
uniformly well designed, the recipes created by a new Master Chef for
Carnival, but the actual preparation was not uniformly great. For
example, the lamb was overcooked and tough, and later that week, the
Chateaubriand was also was over cooked and, also, tough. To their
credit, the staff was more than willing to exchange meals and try and
accommodate us. Food on Carnival’s Legend was
not, for example, on a par with that on Princess ships, a corporate
sister to Carnival.. On the other hand, prices on Carnival are
significantly lower than those on Princess.
The
next morning, Joan and I, determined to keep in some sort of shape,
went to the gym on the tenth deck. The treadmills face picture windows
with a view that is simply magnificent. We worked out for about ninety
minutes and vowed to repeat the regime every morning. Alas, another
good intention dashed.
After
dinner, each night, the four of us visited the Club Merlin casino. The
walls are covered with shields and goblets from King Arthur time and
legend, the floors are covered with slot machines and gaming tables,
with the emphasis on the former. Ship staff circulates
constantly, offering drinks to make the losing more comfortable.. Most
of the action is at the slots and the “bonging" of winner sounds are
everywhere. We earn few “bongings". Joan was slightly ahead and I
managed to lose almost always. My luck with gambling is such that I
once remarked in driving past Atlantic City that I would not go to the
casino; I would simply mail them a check.
I
noticed that most people only remember the winnings and forget the
investment that had been deposited into the machine. At and around the
slots, bar staff circulate to provide libations and strength in case
pulling the levers has proved too hard. Actually, the newer machines
have no levers, just buttons, “repeat bet" or (my downfall) “bet
maximum". The latter allows one to go home early.
Every evening there is a show in the Follies, a theater in the front of the ship. There were a number of shows; the
corps of singers and dancers were young, energetic, talented and really
good. On two nights there were a comedian and a magician-juggler who
were entertaining and, at late night, a “R-Rated" adult comedy show.
These were the same as the early show with four-letter words bandied
about. If your taste runs to smutty words and you giggle at jokes about
bodily functions, fine. Most of the regular shows were very
entertaining.
On
one night, there was a Halloween costume party and contest. Joan and I
borrowed scrubs, white coats and stethoscopes from our doctor-kids. We
wore signs that said, “PARADOX". Everyone commented on how great the
costumes but we lost the contest to a couple wearing homemade turkey
outfits. As people were being introduced, we noticed the range of ages
on the ship. There were a number of honeymooners and a significant
number of couples celebrating their fiftieth anniversary.
We were scheduled to disembark at St.
Maarten, Barbados and Martinique. At the first, we were introduced to a
fantastic rum flavored with vanilla, coconut or pineapple. This light
run, “Splash", on the rocks went down oh so smoothly. I never enjoyed
rum; I am now a convert! Several bottles purchased, much
shopping by the wives, and we were back on the ship. Joan and I had
been to St. Maarten and decided to forgo escorted tours.
On
Barbados, our next stop, we engaged a taxi driver for several hours.
.He took us around the island and showed us beautiful portions of the
island.. We visited a church, continuously in use for 400 years, the
site of Tiger Woods’ wedding and the Mount Gay distillery. After a
movie on the history and manufacture of rum, we thoroughly enjoyed the
tasting. I bought a bottle of old rum that was more like a cognac or
fine brandy.
When
one buys liquor on an off shore island, the bottles brought back to the
ship is not seen again until the last evening. So our bottles were
brought home unopened; not to worry, Thanksgiving is almost here.
Our
final port was a total disappointment: Martinique. We were in the main
city, Fort-De-France. The streets are full of pot holes, the
infrastructure is shoddy and, worst of all, the people were decidedly
unfriendly. This was true of even those whose livelihood depends on
tourists, cab drivers, store clerks and others.
Two examples.
We
were in the main shopping area and I needed a rest room, quickly and
urgently. I have a cane and was making my way down the street when I
spotted a familiar sign, the Golden Arches of McDonald’s. I went into
the restaurant and saw a familiar sign, the international sign for
handicapped restrooms. The door was locked and a sign said, in French,
(I think) that the facility was out of order. I asked the manager, who
was obvious in his reluctance to speak English, and was directed to a
narrow spiral examples. I made my way upstairs only to find a men’s
room and ladies’ room with the latter broken and a line of about four
women waiting for the men’s facility. When I finally got in the door,
the facility was dirty, paper towels on the floor and one of two light
bulbs burned out.
The
second example involved the taxi ride back to the ship. We were
accosted by a taxi driver for the trip back to the pier. The four of us
got into the seven-seat van, the driver closed the doors and went off
to find more people to take back. We sat in the closed van, with no
air-conditioning, windows shut, for fifteen minutes until the driver
came back, grumbling about how he was driving a half-empty van.
On
any future trips, I certainly will skip the “Island of Flowers";
Martinique, its city, its people with their language issues, all can
vegetate for all I care.
On
cruise ships, service is usually unbelievable. There is a story that if
one gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, upon
returning to the bed, it will be made up, sheets changed and chocolates
on the pillow. That may be a slight exaggeration. But not much.
One
of the most sybaritic ways to begin the day is with Champagne and
orange juice on one’s balcony overlooking the sea. Coffee was
outstanding and starting the day with the juice and coffee made me
wonder why this was not a practice enjoyed everyday at home. Perhaps
that is the lesson learned from cruising. It is an experience best
enjoyed on occasion and not an everyday enterprise.
As
I have said, we had one measure of discomfort. Our cabins were
immediately below the twenty-four hour pizzeria. All evening long
there was much banging of carts and the sounds of rolling trays were
very loud. We brought this situation to the Purser’s Office. To
Carnival's credit, the ship credited our shipboard account a fair, reasonable and generous amount.
We
are scheduled for a short cruise on Carnival over New Year’s Eve next
month with our friends, Ann and Mal. and I am making room on my desk
for several new umbrellas.
And, if
all goes well, we are anticipating to take a cruise with our four
daughters, their husbands and our fourteen grandchildren in 2008, to
celebrate our fiftieth anniversary. So here’s a toast to continued
health, all with rum, of course.
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