I’ve read advice from “experts" telling men to approach a group of women and “ignore" the “hot" woman they have their eyes on. The ‘experts" tell men that chatting up all the other women in the group and intentionally ignoring the “hot" woman makes a man look confident and dominant (a.k.a Alpha Male), and will in turn make the “hot" woman of the group chase after him. This is possibly the worst advice I’ve ever read on approaching a woman. This kind of approach may, I said “may" work with insecure women with very low self esteem (why not just go to the street corner and pay for sex then?).
A sexually confident woman with a high self esteem knows how ‘special" she is. She will not be bowled over by a guy who tries to lower her value in order to feel on “top" of his game. She’s will more likely than not dismiss such a man as a “player’ with a bad game, not even an actor but a character without play, and will go elsewhere to look for the man who plays the game at her own level.
Our hearts and souls are finely tuned to be attracted to a man or woman who treats us as if we were the centre of their universe. The best way to approach a confident woman sitting or standing with group of friends or other women is to make her feel unique and different from everyone else. Make her feel special. Send the message “You the one I want, Not Them!’
1. Introduce yourself by walking to the group and gently but firmly placing your arm on the woman you are interested in as if to say " you're blocking my way." Smile as you direct her to the side and make it slow and gentle. "Please" with a charming smile will get her attention fast!
2. Casually sweep your eyes over the others and let your gaze rest on her. Even as you introduce yourself to the group make sure your eyes don’t leave her face for very long. Make it look like you are introducing yourself to her over and over.
3. Compliment her. Women go to great lengths to look better than the next woman and are very flattered when someone notices their effort. Compliment her. Not something like “you look great", that is so, how can I say... uninspiring. Say something specific like “I like your hair" or “that colour looks great on you" etc.
4. After you’ve introduced yourself, don’t try to chat her and all her friends at once. Make it very obvious to everyone (more to her) that the reason you are there is because of this one special person. Ask specific questions about her. Even if you are talking to her friends, find away to make it about her. Like "Are you ladies enjoying yourselves? What about Christine, are you having fun?" etc.
5. Do not settle down as if you’ve arrived. Even if she has shown some initial interest, excuse yourself and promise to come back later to talk to her - I said talk to her. Leave the same way you came, gently but firmly placing your arm on her with a smile.
6. Allow enough time for her friends to tease her about your interest in her and for the feelings to start brewing before you return. You want her to want you to return.
The whole point is make her feel special. When you make someone feel special and unique, they in return will feel that you are also special and unique. This is not about seeking her approval but rather a contractual exclusivity played consciously and knowingly by both parties.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng, Internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™ helps men and women be effortlessly interesting, create ever-deepening emotional connections, inspire sexual passion, have lots of fun - and create a genuine and lasting relationship, all at the same time.
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