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Since men found out that “Women are from Venus", many guys have been training themselves to become attractive to women through conversation – pick-up lines, conversation starters, topics to talk about etc. You know all that stuff.
Those deep conversations are all great and everything, but let’s be honest doesn’t it sometimes get sort of frustrating? She wants to hang out with you, she thinks you are a great friend and the two of you have deep conversations but what if you want more? What if you want to date her?
How do you transition from being just an ear and a shoulder to someone she is dating or even to a lover?
1. Stop trying to be a “best friend" and lover all the time – We all want to fall in love with our best friend because it’s so romantic. It's just like in the movies. Unfortunately you can only be either her best friend who wants to be her lover or her lover who wants to be her best friend. I advice you to go for “her lover who wants to be her best friend.". Make it crystal clear to her that you're interested in her as a 'woman" and not as "just a friend".
2. Take some risks – Pretending that all you are interested in is deep conversations when that is not true is the cowardly thing to do. And don’t think for one moment that we women are stupid to think men love deep conversations. A woman will hang around just enough to see if you are man enough to take some risks and when you don’t – whoosh, you’re filed away into the “friend category". Stop being too reserved or cautious and take a chance.
3. Take the role of leader – Deep conversations and all that means that she is the one in the driver’s seat and driving the relationship and as long as you let her, nothing will change. Women are more attracted to a guy who takes charge and drives the relationship and not the other way round.
4. Set boundaries and have enough self-respect – Fearing that you will disappoint or upset her somehow if you set boundaries only makes you lose respect in front of women. Women are generally not impressed by men who constantly seek approval from them and act desperate and needy. Keep that reminder that you are there and friendly but you are also an individual with a life to live (I am assuming you have one).
5. Openly flirt with her – compliment her, hold eye contact more and longer than usual, laugh more, smile more - do whatever flirting means to you. Just don't go over the top and put her off - less is more!
6. Touch – I don’t know if I can ever say this enough; touch, touch, touch. Please touch. Touching someone is a very boding thing to do. Find small ways to touch her - invite her to thumb wrestle, ask to read her palm, playfully pat her shoulder, brush an imaginary crumb from her lips then say “just kidding," give her a foot massage etc. Those small touches can be a very strong link between you two.
7. Pick yourself up, keep trying – Sometimes things are just not meant to be. It’s a fact of life that not everyone you are sexually attracted to will be sexually attracted to you. Don’t dwell on failures, pat yourself on the back for taking a risk and try again. Tomorrow is another day.
Now go start making the transition from "that guy I hang out with" to "lover" :-)
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
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