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I am a recovering perfectionist. As I am thinking about the quality of thoughts and how they influence our life, it occurs to me that perfectionism has an adverse effect on what we think.
Let's think about it for a moment. A perfectionist is constantly looking for things and situations that need improvement, and he wants to make them perfect. The fact alone that the focus is constantly on "the less perfect" can be the starting point of negative thinking.
It was for me. There was a time when I was happy only if things at work and at home were in perfect order. Any other situation was unacceptable.
How sad and dangerous! Perfectionism creates an artificial reality in our minds, a reality that demands unnecessarily high standards.
So how am I doing in my recovery? - Just fine. I have numerous resources and mentors who have helped me focus my life. One of them is David Herdlinger, Coach and Mentor (www.herdlinger.com) who helped me re-create my own reality through his coaching program. I am thankful for that forever!
Reality - it is in our minds. Our reality starts with what we think and makes us what we want to be. So doesn't it make sense to banish everything limiting and negative in our heads to make room for positive growth and happiness?
Banish Negative Thinking
A growing amount of research has shown that a pessimistic outlook will invariably not only take a toll on your career, but on your health as well. Pessimists are not good at handling stress. They have less confidence and are not as well equipped with effective coping methods. Therefore, looking at things negatively will not only stress you out at work, but your immune system will be taxed which will lead to health problems and more negativity. All in all, a bit of a vicious circle ...
If you fit the negative bill, try the following to change your outlook:
Take a creative accounting of your life. Keep a mental checklist of all the good things that happen to you. Simply focusing on the positive can really boost your mood.
Avoid upward comparison. There will always be someone smarter or wealthier than you, but comparing is not a positive attitude. Forget about them, and concentrate on you.
Recognize how your mood affects your outlook. If you are in good spirits, your day-to-day experiences and interactions will be more positive. Don't wallow in muddy negativity - accept any bad news or experiences learn from them and move forward.
Dismiss putdowns. Nothing others say can ever change your own intrinsic worth as a person. Putdowns will only lead to insecurity if you let them.
Enjoy the small things in life. Each thing you do well, however small, is an accomplishment, even if it is a routine task. You'll feel more in control of things if you separate jobs into achievements and, as a result, you'll feel more in control of your life. Hopefully, people will notice how well you do things and just how valuable you are.
Catch yourself in action
Here is a simple trick someone told me years ago, and it really works.
Put a rubberband around your wrist and wear it all day long. Make sure it is not too tight, because I don't want you to cut your circulation.
Now, do the following for the next 21 days:
Everytime a negative thought or doubt comes up in your mind, snap the rubberband on your wrist. OUCH! Immediately, replace the negative thought or emotion with something more positive and constructive.
Examples:
"I can't do this!" Replace with: "Let me find a way to meet this challenge."
"I am not smart enough ..." Replace with: "How can I learn what I need to ...."
"What a jerk!" Replace with: "His bad attitude does nothing good, instead I will ..."
"This rainy day gets me depressed." Replace with: "I look forward to a sunny day..."
etc.
If you do this excercise for 21 days, the physical reminder of the snapping rubberband will reinforce your mental excercise and make your new thought pattern second nature.
Banish negative thinking and think success!
More on how to develop optimism.
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