Remember when your parents popped a gasket teaching you to drive, white knuckling it from the passenger seat? If you don’t want to go around that track, better gear up for your own child’s driving lessons.
Start with a couple of warm up laps. First, forget to pick up the permit application on the way home from work. Mates can blame each other, claiming they thought the other was supposed to get it. Remind your student driver that kids who play simulation games pass their driving test faster than those who don’t. Fill up on quarters for a couple of trips to the arcade to keep things idling a while longer while getting a peek at what you have to work with.
There are no wars if you’re in neutral. After reading all the permit paperwork together, it’s amazing how hard it is to locate your child’s birth certificate or other required legal papers. A real smooth operator can get a lot of mileage out of trying to find documents, filling in forms, and following directions to a “T." You know how important this step is as you had such a hard time filling in your own renewal application while standing in line just last month.
Get revved for a role reversal. Your kids will look up for your driving expertise and want your support as they fully understand they will make mistakes and will have to do exactly what you say. (Just like they understand they don‘t know everything and have to pick up after themselves.) More realistically, it’s your turn to roll your eyes, show attitude, huff, and muffle bad words under your breath.
Practice in park makes perfect. Before anyone puts a key in the ignition, try imaginary drives to the end of the road, the parking lot, followed by a fake trip to the grocery store and then to church, the doctor’s office, and finally a vacation to the opposite coast. Go through all the motions starting with buckling up the seat belts, checking mirrors and gages, looking all around and behind, putting the car into gear, stepping on the gas, and even braking and turning. This is so much fun that your teen will be chomping at the bit to get out of the car and as far away from you as possible.
Driving ins and outs. Eventually, you’ll have to stop being so overprotective about your car. Cemeteries are the perfect place to practice - no traffic and no people able to hear your “directions.“ Remember that nothing says lovin‘ like a good screaming session with a child who is as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. This is a good gage of how well your kid performs under pressure.
After you arrive at the cemetery and change seats, assume a supportive position. With your right hand firmly planted on the dashboard, and the left one free to grab the steering wheel, turn your body slightly toward the driver. Eye the brake pedal and notify your left foot that is on call to hit it if need be. This might prevent the need for a neck brace and a close encounter with your windshield. (Just be thankful stick shifts are only in expensive cars now days.)
The time to go into overdrive. When your blood pressure goes from 0 to 120 in 0.4 seconds, have the location, price and contact information for the closet driver’s ed program handy. In fact, you should probably pre-register the first time your child asks you to teach them to drive. Present this gift to your former student with a AAA card and the promise to continue driving them to work until they get their own permanent license.
How else are they going to be able to pay for the additional car insurance?
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