If given the choice between living in a world where people never die; or experiencing life with all its joy, pain and surprises, which would you choose?
Last month while recovering from a debilitating case of influenza, I tuned in to the soap opera circuit, to observe the latest happenings on General Hospital and The Young and the Restless. Not surprisingly, after viewing these shows over a three-day-period, I came away with a unique observation, what if life was similar to daytime television?
Thus with remote in hand, and my brain flowing with adrenaline, I sat down at the keyboard and began typing. The result was a mixture of humor, sarcasm, and a hefty dose of soap representation, thrown in for those who follow these never-ending dramas faithfully. So, without further interruption, I present, If Life was Like a Soap Opera.
If Life was like a soap opera, we could die and mysteriously resurface, either as ourselves or with a totally different face and body. Honestly, soaps are the only place where a person can die on an operating table, with doctors and nurses looking on, only to resurface months or years later incredibly alive. Can you imagine that happening in real life? I don’t know about you, but if I saw someone die, and later attended their funeral, where they appeared dead as a door knob, I would approach their reemergence with absolute horror.
Yet on soaps, the dearly departed usually comes up with some convoluted theory to explain their return. And after the shock wears off, family and friends settle down, and treat the person as if nothing ever happened. Are you kidding? This person was dead, and all you can ask them is, “Oh my god, where have you been?" In real life the average person would be too afraid to look at, much less communicate with the living dead. Oops, I forgot, this is daytime television, where nothing is real and every thing is possible.
If Life was like a soap opera, women would give birth and have no recollection of it ever happening. Admittedly, I have never had kids, but friends and relatives who have, tell me the pain is so excruciating, no one in their right mind would forget it. But as I recalled on one soap opera, a teenager had a baby, and didn’t remember it until 18 years later, when the girl showed up on her doorstep. Thus only through a series of hypnotism sessions, did the woman recall having a baby. Real life? I don’t think so. To reiterate, a woman whether the birth is natural or drug induced, would not forget such a phenomenon under any circumstances.
And speaking of children, if life was like a soap opera, a kid born in 2007, would be mysteriously transformed into an adult 12 years later. Can you imagine a mother rocking her infant daughter, only to see that same baby 10 years later, rocking her own child? In soaps, this process is known as SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome). Imagine being 35-year old parents and having a 29-year-old son or daughter. Makes you want to scream, doesn’t it?
If life was like a soap opera, couples would wildly proclaim their love, three weeks after meeting each other. Granted, there may be some validity regarding the phrase love at first sight, but three weeks is not long enough to get to truly know someone. But on soaps, you have people declaring their undying love less than a month after being introduced. Rubbish. Sometimes it takes a life time to fully understand another individual, yet on soaps it only takes a minute. Go figure.
If Life was like a soap opera, people would answer doors without asking who it is, and couples would kiss after waking up and before brushing their teeth. I guess on soaps, morning breath is non-existent. Likewise, they would never be seen doing such common tasks as grocery shopping, changing diapers, and scrubbing the toilet.
If life was like a soap opera, you could discover years later that your millionaire boss is actually your son, or the woman you detest is really your mother. Similarly, you may learn that the man you’ve been married to for 20 years is actually your grandmother’s biological son, whom she gave up for adoption when she was 17. Wow, now wouldn’t that be interesting in real life? Sick, yes, but nevertheless, interesting.
If life was like a soap opera, everyone would be gorgeous with great bodies. Ever noticed that with few exceptions, everyone on soaps look like they emerged from the pages of Vogue and GQ magazine? Case in point: All the men are handsome with abs to die, for and the average dress size for a woman is a 4. And speaking of perfect, during my three-day soap marathon, I noticed that everyone had great hair, flawless skin and straight white teeth. Yet, I never saw anyone take a trip to a stylist, dermatologist or dentist. Now, this is one soap standard that everyone would love in real life. Maybe, but even perfection has its limits.
If Life Was Like a Soap Opera, friends and relatives would be allowed to stand outside the operating room and look through the window as the operation was in progress. How realistic is that?
Okay, so life isn’t like a soap opera, and aren’t you glad? For if given the choice between living in a world where people never die; or experiencing life with all its joy, pain and surprises, I choose life, without question. And that readers, is my rendition of "The Real and the Unflappable." Until next time…..Remember that happiness is yours for the taking, so reach out and grab it by the rear.
» left by Avis Ward(11,479) Avis Ward (1 year 260 days ago.)
Peggy, I enjoyed this article, as well. I must admit to having watched a soap or two but I am happy to report that's one soapbox from which I descended. Keep doing what you're doing. I visited your site and read the reviews from your publisher's site on your book. I will order it. Congrats! Keep on keepin' on! God be with you! —Avis Respond to this comment
As usual thank you for your kind comments. As for the book, like Bill Cosby, I found out one very important observation egarding African-Americans. And that is, I long as we cry racism, and blame everyone for our our problems but ourselves, everything is great.
But as soon as you venture into taboo territory, such as rap music, Black-on-Black violence, and our dislike for each other, they quickly proclaim "Never, air Black folks dirty laundry." Therein, lies the problem.
Your comments ring, oh, so true. Sadly, there are people who have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality. To hear, some of them talk, you are left with the impression that these characters are "REAL."
Oh well, I guess some folks would rather fantasize about life, than actually live it.
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