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Abusive men seem to think that there is a reason behind every woman’s actions and words. They are always under the assumptions that women are trying to influence them. Often, they frequently suspect her of doing things that they are not guilty of and they are easily irritated by her, especially when she is in a good mood. These men may feel they love these women but emotionally they do not “like" them. The most important aspect of any relationship should be mutual espect. Unfortunately abusive men always strive to project themselves in a favorable light and put her down. They thrive on making her feel inferior in all things. The object is to tear her down to make her feel weak, insecure and co-dependent. It is a double-edged sword: a no win situation or a do or die situation. The woman spends years trying to prove that she is not bad but they are kept on deaf ears. No matter what she does, he doesn’t care so it is futile for her to try to prove she is worthwhile. Recent study shows that 2/3rd of all marriages will experience domestic violence at least once in their lifetime.One shocking discovery from a study found that 37% of pregnant women, across all class, race, and educational lines, were abused physically during pregnancy. In all there are 4,000,000 women who are assaulted by their partners. You can view the results here When it comes to discussing about abusive men, the most popular name, which comes to everybody’s mind, is Mike Tyson. This is because he has been involved in a series of accusations, which are often the tell-tale signs of an abusive man. He has two divorces, a rape conviction and other sexual assault accusations to his credit. He always asserts that a female reporter should not interview him unless and until he "fornicates with them". Check out this link
Here are the Top 10 Ways to Spot an Abusive Man
1. He has got a history of drug abuse and/or alcohol, and possibly violence. 2. He has record of being arrested for domestic violence. Do your homework and if possible the background check to know more about him. 3. He has a poor or no relationship with his mother or ex partners. 4. He speaks negatively about all his past relationships, blaming them always. If at all possible, try to speak to these women to hear their point of view. If he badmouths them, you may be next. 5. He exhibits an over-bearing, aggressive personality. You may be attracted by his apparent confidence, strength, determination and aggressive personality – the kind of qualities you think you lack. However, this personality type can also be a red flag for abusive behavior. 6. He talks at length, dragging about himself. 7. He expects a big return on his venture. He may seem happy to put your needs and wishes first for a little while, but it will not be long before he throws it in your face by saying: “Look at everything I do for you. You owe me!" 8.The relationship moves forward very quick. Abusive men persuade as fast as they can. They know that they cannot sustain consistent good behavior for very long. Good behavior does not give them the pay off they want, controlling through abuse does. 9. You catch him telling lies. There are areas of his life that he is not telling you about or is lying to you about because he may lose you. 10.He is interested in everything you have to say and coincidentally always agrees. This is a sneaky technique called mirroring and can later be used to control you by developing trust.
Any of the above must be considered as an important warning sign of an Abusive Men. If you hear any alarms going off in your head, listen to them carefully and act on them. An ounce of prevention can avert a lifetime of heartache.
Stephany Alexander is the founder of http://www.WomanSavers.com the World's Largest Database Rating Men. She has been quoted on CNN, Fox Nationwide, the New York Times, and more. She has created over 10 women's comedy cartoon ecards, 6 women's online games. She has been guest on hundreds of radio shows. For more information or to interview, please email womansavers@womansavers.com
» left by Anonymous (1 year 249 days ago.)
Having unfortunately lived through this and incredibly returned to the abuser several times I find this article very acurate. These men(or women) will prey on your innate decency,guilt and have you truly believing you are crazy and to blame. You are not stupid,just brainwashed.Leaving and having no contact is the only solution. Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 48 days ago.)
wow. i just got out of one that moved so fast my head spun and i ended up feeling completely inadequate/lousy and everything was always my fault, but wait, he always said he loved me. thank god it's over!! beware the god-complexes. thanks Stephany! Respond to this comment
» left by tfetherson from charlotte,nc (190 days 16 hours ago.)
Thank you for this information. i was beatened today. hit/punched/slapped and smothered. I cant wait to get out of this relationship.
After 1 1/2 years I finally broke all contact with my lover. Haven't heard from him in three weeks and I hope it stays that way. I always went back after his pleading.
The tips are very accurate. I always thought it was my fault, but I know now it's not. He put me down, slapped me, said he was to good for me and then turn around and say I was great and he didn't deserve me. (sigh).
These tips give me strenght to stay away. I deserve better. It's not my fault I couldn't make this relationship work, he didn't want it to work.
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Thursday, April 26, 2007 View other articles written by Stephany Alexander(3,021)
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