Time Management for Pre-Teens
My grandmother used to say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I would often think of her when my son was playing on his PlayStation II and telling me that he would do his homework, take out the trash, clean his room, learn his lines, and get to bed on time. He really meant it too. He would then be very surprised and upset when somehow he ran out of time and lost privileges for not “taking care of business."
Heaven knows, time management is hard for everyone. But it is particularly hard for pre-teen boys. When my son Daniel looks ahead, he sees endless hours where he can accomplish everything he wants and still have unlimited time to just hang out. Or sometimes he sees an overwhelming barrage of chores and homework floating around in his mind creating chaos and stress. He fluctuates between the two mindsets and drives me absolutely crazy. I mean I have my own stuff, right?
There are two basic issues to address here. One is time management skills. He needs to plan his time in a realistic way so he can get stuff done. Secondly, he needs to have a positive attitude about it. He needs to know that it is possible to get everything done and still have time for him. So what can a parent do to help her child develop these skills?
Lately we have been trying something new. It only takes about ten minutes and seems to be helping on both counts.
Here is what we do. Each morning we sit together and talk about the day. We decide between us what he needs to accomplish. Next we estimate how long each task will take. Then look at the actual time he has. (This is important because sometimes there is not enough time and we must make adjustments.) We always make sure that there is extra time for “hanging out" but I stress the fact that when he procrastinates, he is actually stealing his own free time from himself. He writes these tasks on one side of a 3" by 5" card.
After the daily tasks are planned, he turns his attention to his dreams. On the other side of his card, he writes down everything he wants (at least everything he wants that will fit on the card.) He might write that he wants the lead in the new play at Wayside Theater, $100 for game boy games, a new CD, etc. Starting his day by examining his goals is a neccesary part of our little ritual. It helps to shift the focus from the drudgery to the possibilities. It really helps foster a positive mental attitude throughout the day. Who doesn't enjoy daydreaming about getting everything they want.
This may sound overly simplistic and anal retentive. And I have to admit that the "every day" part is particularly difficult to stick to, but it really does help. Later in the day when there is still time to make a difference, I usually ask how he is doing. He sometimes underestimates how long things will take and he definitely does not get everything done every day - even now. But he knows how he is doing and seldom gets overwhelmed anymore.
His outlook has also improved. Each morning he spends a short time focusing on his dreams and that makes his whole day look brighter. I do it too.
- by Jeanne Russell
(c) Jeanne Russell - All Rights reserved =====================================
-- Jeanne Russell is a mother, writer, and entrepreneur. She is founder of www.jeannerussell.com (a website devoted to self-improvement and success) and also www.stressandthesinglemom.com.
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