I'm a lucky girl. You see, I have two Mothers and every year on Mother's Day, I remember them both and send cards and notes to both of them in gratitude for all they have helped me become.
I was born in a rural area in a farming community. My mother taught me the difference between an iris and a daffodil. She showed me how to plant a garden and a tree. She taught me how to keep the whites from turning pink in the wash and how to cook a pot roast. She modeled calm in the midst of the chaos that is a family of eight. She showed me how a quiet spirit brings respect from the most bombastic person. I grew up in awe of her. I was so different in personality and gifting than she that I thought I could never be like her. I talked too much, I talked too loudly. I could never just sit and "take" injustice. I became defensive and sometimes offensive in my quest to be taken seriously.
I got older and married a truly wonderful and patient man. But I still struggled with the feminine ideal of my mother and my childhood and the aggressive, outgoing personality I had. I was frustrated and felt stifled.
After a year of marriage, my husband and I packed up and moved halfway across the United States. Not only was it different geographically - it was a cultural world away! From the farm to the city; from the Northeast to the Southwest; from the cold to the heat; from the taciturn to the gregarious. I was in heaven! I felt like I had come home - people who were like me! People who smiled at each other on the street! People who liked strangers! People from all over the world in one place enjoying the differences instead of picking at the unusual. And then I met my second Mother.
She taught me how to put more than 3 pieces of flatware on a table setting. She taught me how to decorate a room for a party and how to put people at ease. She taught me how to accept myself and be at peace. She taught me the difference between being a doormat and being gracious from strength. How to tell trendy from classic. How to spot a great bargain at a resale shop in the midst of junk. She modeled how to constructively "disagree" with ones husband. She showed me that giving creates a healthy flow through life, hoarding brings stagnation. She taught me how women of great faith change their marriages, their children, and their world. She showed me how to accept that God loved me as a special and unique creature and I could love that person too. In doing so, I could serve without being diminished.
My first mother has 6 children, 12 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren. We all adore her. My second mother has one natural birth child that she had to give up for adoption and has never found. But I have lost track of the number of girls like me that she has mothered, and she is equally adored by us all.
I know from experience that motherhood takes many forms. I would not be who I am without both of these women. Each of them gave me unique and vital parts of themselves. I call, write and send each of them "grandchildren" photos. And each year on Mother's Day, I send notes and flowers and special things to both of them.
Now at the mid point of my life, I see that I am a product of two Mothers. I am blessed beyond words. Two Godly and loving women with different personalities and lifestyles have given me irreplaceble parts of themselves.
Mothering is more than giving birth and raising a child by blood or adoption. For some women, mothering is their spiritual gift and a way of life. How blessed I am to have had more than one Mother.
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