There were two things I wanted most when my kids were little, free time and no arguing. I would really say that when asked what I wanted on that special day in May. That was the most wonderful gift my kids and husband could give me. I always felt a little selfish and like I wasn't being a very good mom because I voiced those needs; not just for Mom's Day, but other times throughout the year.
The free time part of it was obviously not on Mother's Day, but often in coupon form to be cashed in at another time. The no arguing was a little tougher, but all in all, it worked out just fine.
Looking back on those two gifts intended for me, I see that our girls received gifts too. In giving me free time, they were able to practice cleaning up after themselves, making a simple snack that turned into a complete meal a few years later, and the ability to launder their own clothes and do minor repairs and yard work. From not wanting to hear them argue about every little thing they learned about compromise and when it was time to stand up for themselves. They found out how to be a team, how to forgive, how to share the bathroom mirror and when they needed to give the other a little space. Their creativity and wit is amazing.
No, I didn't leave them to just flounder and figure out things on their own. Being a Mom is being there for them and teaching them how to become self-sufficient, honorable, caring adults. Being a Mom started when they were born (what a reality check!!) continued as I sat in the middle of a kid's bedroom and watched them pick up one thing at a time and find a home for it. Being a Mom continued as we talked about God and how just as I expected more from them than I did from other kids because they belong to me, God expects more from them because they belong to Him.
Being a Mom continued as they learned honor, truth and trust. It continued as I helped them prepare for their weddings with a little advice and a lot of "are they ready yet" thoughts running through my mind.
As Moms, if we want our kids to grow up with values, we have to model them for the kids everyday. It is not easy to raise kids while holding down a job and handling everything our society tells us we have to do. Being a Mom is a lifelong job, never finished and rarely easy.
My own Mom was almost perfect. I can easily say that since she has been living in heaven for about 28 years now. I know she wasn't perfect, but if I am just half the example to my kids that she was to me, I will have done a good job. I never realized the extent of her influence, guidance and love she gave to others until after she had died. I received letter after letter about the difference my Mom had made. She never told anyone about those she had helped, in material and emotional ways, as it should be. I am thankful I got to hear about that part of her life that extended past our home.
I know I have blown it a lot in my career as a Mom, but my kids have forgiven me and I hope when it comes time to leave this earth, I will leave them a legacy they can be proud of.
Did I mention my kids are grown and married? Within the next few years a new title will most likely be given to me. I hope I can handle that next phase of my life. I hear saying "no" to the grandkids is pretty hard to do.
