The state makes it very easy for couples to divorce one
another just because of irreconcilable differences. “Irreconcilable
differences" are words used for most divorce decrees that give justification
for divorce. It’s true, couples have conflicting opinions from time to time,
and they may even have major conflict once in a while, but these differences do
not warrant the separation from each other according to God.
Lately I have been getting more and more emails from people
who are not in agreement to divorce their spouse, what can they do? Don’t they
have any say-so in the matter? It’s unfortunate because according to the state,
they don’t have any say-so. A spouse
can refuse to sign the papers, but the state has loopholes for that too, it is
called the “uncontested divorce", which means, if you don’t sign, the divorce
proceedings will go on without you and you will then have no say-so in any of
the logistical matters concerning the divorce. I did the research.
Many Christian married folks now-a-days have worldly
attitudes about what marriage is and what marriage should be; not all of them,
but many of them. As Christian’s we should never venture out of the godly realm
of authority and into society for the answers we need. The Master Designer Himself is the only One
who really cares about you and your marriage.
The main reason a spouse might decide to get a divorce is
because they are unwilling to work on the marriage. They usually have no idea
that they too might be at fault for the problems associated with the marriage.
Selfishness blinds people to having a committed heart to someone else. They are
really only interested in serving themselves. The problem with this kind of
attitude is that putting your spouse’s feelings in front of yours is what
marriage is all about!
I’m not saying that all the fault should go to the spouse
who wants the divorce; it certainly takes two to tango, but which spouse is the
one being selfish, the one who wants to work on the marriage and stop divorce
or the spouse who doesn’t want to work on the marriage and get a divorce? The
only thing that will have any real impact on a spouse deciding to work on the
marriage rather than get a divorce is the power of the Holy Spirit within them.
Only Christ can change a bad attitude.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but
be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
(Romans 12:2 NIV)
Christian couples divorce because they are out of balance
spiritually within themselves. They have been conditioned to believe, if they
don’t “feel" a certain way, or if their spouse sinned against the marriage,
they are entitled to divorce. But that is not what God says. Divorce is ugly
and vengeful, and it always hurts someone terribly. You can stop divorce in its
tracks by realizing that it is out of a hardened heart that most divorces take
place.
I believe if couples would only slow down, and take the time
to find themselves; to realize that they have a part in the disintegration of
the marriage, they can together seek the proper answers they need to rectify
any irreconcilable differences, and save the marriage.
Don’t waste your time focusing on what your spouse did or
didn’t do. Focus on allowing Jesus Christ to direct your spirit in the proper
ways of loving yourself and others. Meditate on God’s words of wisdom for your
marriage daily, and watch how easy your thinking changes from the divorce
mentality to choosing to work on your marriage.
A husband, who unconditionally loves his wife, will not seek
a divorce. And the wife who unconditionally loves her husband will not seek a
divorce. It doesn’t always seem fair,
but when you understand how love operates through the workings of what Jesus
Christ did for you, you will better understand how you can love others
unconditionally.
Jesus Christ loved us so much that He paid a debt he did not
owe because we owed a debt we could not pay? The same analogy applies to
marriage. Don’t love because you want something in return; love because that is
a principled aspect of who you are.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this way: While
we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NIV)
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