There are solutions to schools gone wild that do not drug our kids, mask the truth about where feelings come from, call anything I do good or teach character as a series of definitions and posters.More...I was encouraged to see a recent article (along with several in the last few years) “The Great ADHD Myth" by Jenny Hope in the London edition of Daily Mail.
One true story: My friend J was told that both of her adolescent boys needed to be put on Ritlan if they were to continue in public school. J and her husband began researching, seeking wise counsel, and praying. They came to the realization that before drugging their boys they needed to try total parenting. J quit her corporate job and took on free lance work as a photographer. The family moved down in lifestyle and house. Immediately, not in a few months or years, when J became a stay at home Mom, the boys behavior in school improved. She was there to greet her roguish, red-headed, and totally normal boys after school, give them a snack, ask about the day, and inquire about homework.
TA-DAH! Presence, accountability, and active parenting replaced the need for drugs. Both boys proved to be positive standouts: one, a genius at creative thinking; one, a social magnet able to relate and entertain. The boys are now in their early 20's. There is power in sacrifice for the right thing. Most folks think sacrifice is a dirty word. J and her hubby found it to be renewing, encouraging, and uplifting then rewarding when it brought good fruits to the labor of rearing kids.
The school's role is not to parent! That is so obvious. Look what happens when we force that role on it in the name of “good education;" it moves to drug 'em, shove 'em, and just move 'em on out (not up). The only reason we have pressed education to take on the discipline-and-control role is that we as a nation have abdicated our responsibility. Further, we mistakenly seem to think that the kids will learn “somewhere" that responsibility character trait lost to us, that they will do the right things and, for example, honor thy father and mother... i.e., take care of us when we are old. Look again; it is not going to happen! We are and will continue to reap the rewards of our actions in high school violence, aberrant behaviors, and low test scores. All of which begin to describe our workplaces as the young move into it as "adults in body but not in soul."
Good News! All is not lost!
We can join the schools and move better directions for ourselves and our kids. We can again accept the responsibility for helping rear the next generation, particularly those already in high school who are about to hit the streets, yikes, and some literally! Each of us, parent or not, can specifically mentor the young to the truth they (the parent and/or the child) may have never been shown, that is, StrengthBank® - the plan for each life that will not harm, that will prosper, that will give hope and a future (www.strengthbankinc.org).
How do we show them and learn it ourselves? Be willing to sacrifice an hour twice a month during the school year to guide high school advisory groups to the developmental process of discovering, living, and passing on the fundamental truths upon which this nation was founded and wherein hope resides.
Hope and the sacrifice it requires to keep hope alive in each heart is better than any drug, any false accolade, or “character“ definition/poster. The basic truth is that there is a plan and a purpose for each life for which one must sacrifice egotism, narcissism, and arrogance to follow; the truth will not change even if you do not believe it. Nobody gets a free ride - nobody!
Sandra Shelton, BA, MEd., CTACC, Fort Worth, Texas, is an engaging international speaker, author, workplace relationship consultant, and nonprofit CEO. StrengthBank® - Communication WorkOuts™ are brilliant in their simplicity and powerful in their effectiveness. They are now being applied to business people who mentor in local high schools during advisory periods. To learn more about StrengthBank® and its author www.strengthbank.com or www.talkgroups-mentors.org
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,141) James P Krehbiel (2 years 172 days ago.)
Dear Sandra,
You are right, it is not the school's responsbility to make medication recommendations to parents. In fact, if it is done, it is unethical. Most teachers and schools, however, do not do this from my experience. The call for psychotropic medications typically comes from those who treat our children. There are many occasions where family dynamics are NOT the issue and medication is necessary for a child to function in general. I have seen these youngsters and it is no fault of their own or their parents. Have we overdone the medication issue, probably. But do not discount cases where it is essential for the well-being of the child and family. I am glad that your friend's children are doing well. Thoughtful article. Respond to this comment
» left by Dave Tanguay (2 years 172 days ago.)
I agree with James the old adage "it all starts in the home" I dissagree with, the world outside the home is where it all begins in my opinion. I may be wrong however I believe if the world would change for the better than the human race would adjust naturally without drugs or counseling. (in other words not forced to accept a corupt society) Respond to this comment
» left by Donovan Baldwin from Copperas Cove, TX (2 years 172 days ago.)
Hooray!
Yeah, folks. It might just be that simple.
Oh sure, there are conditions and real problems that really do need psychological and/or medical intervention, but how many problems with kids, schools, society in general could be improved if somebody just had the time/or took the time to get involved with their kids and their community?
» left by Sandra Shelton(75) Sandra Shelton (2 years 170 days ago.)
Hey, are you willing to be a mentor for us? If so, maybe you have connections to get us into your school district. We are in Santa Fe, Texas.... not far from you? Respond to this comment
» left by JL from US (2 years 172 days ago.)
Good article. If you take the time to have the kids, take the time to raise them! Respond to this comment
» left by Avis Ward(11,418) Avis Ward (2 years 172 days ago.)
Sandra, an encouraging and well-written article. Like your friend J's story, I have a similar one. My nephew was supposed to be medicated but my sister refused it for him. He was supposed to be taken out of the regular classroom and put in Special Ed but she refused; furthermore, she forbade the nuns to tell him he was a 'slow learner.' This 'slow learner' has a Master's degree today and making a six figure income. He doesn't know he was 'special and slow' but thought it just took him longer with his studies and he had to work harder. His roommates are lawyers and doctors today. They helped him but he didn't quit. He has a lovely family, is a great dad and hubby and is doing well. Someone's comment said it starts with the parents. She took control and worked with him, no matter what. Respond to this comment
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