When I was ill, my confidence plummeted. I felt as if I was worthless and had nothing interesting to say. I did not see the point to anything and felt as if I just existed. That is what anxiety does to you. It robs you of your personality, robs you of your confidence and robs you of your identity. My own experience caused me to feel as if my emotions and feelings had become frozen. Some people say they can’t even feel love for the people they really care about and others don’t feel any emotions at all. This is exactly how I felt. Nothing anyone could do or say could make me happy. They could have put a million pounds in front of me and I would not have even smiled. I felt numb and there were times when I thought I would never smile again. My only thought was recovering from the way I felt. I can tell those of you who feel like this that your emotions do come back in recovery. Your confidence and personality gradually return in little strips, building up in layers, until eventually you feel like the person you were before you became ill.
If you do suffer from a lack of confidence, then there is no better boost to your self-esteem than getting on the road to recovery and feeling the joy that comes with it. If you were a confident person before, that confidence will return or become even greater. I feel more confident now than I was before I became ill. All the hurdles I have passed and the experiences I have come through have helped me to grow into a stronger person.
Can I just share with you a sentence I believe helps to build confidence, and it really works:
Never say yes when you mean no, and never say no when you means yes - simple but effective. I am sure most people can identify with this statement.
Trying to find a cause
Too many people spend too much time trying to find a reason for why they feel like they do, searching for that childhood memory that they believe must have triggered it off in the first place. In some cases, something may have happened in a person’s earlier life that they may need to talk through with a professional and, if this is the case, then it may help to do this before they can start on the road to recovery. In a lot of cases, however, too much importance is placed on finding a root cause. Surely the only thing that really matters is, not why we began to feel like this in the first place, but how to recover.
So if you find yourself backtracking in an attempt to find a root cause for the way you feel and you believe that gaining this knowledge is an important part of your recovery, then go ahead and find a professional with whom you can talk things through. If, however, you are like me and it no longer matters how it all started and all you want to do is recover, then let it go, just move on and concentrate on what is important to you - recovery.
You have no control over the past but you do have control over your future
So many people say that when they have recovered, they feel more confident and enjoy life even more than they did before they became ill. Well you certainly appreciate things a lot more and the trivial things in life seem just that - unimportant.
Paul David has been helping peope with anxiety and panic for many years and wrote a book on the subject, for more information visit
www.anxietynomore.co.uk
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