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There are many different kinds of reasons for men to have affairs. Forces such as sexual attraction, companionship, excitement and curiosity can pull men toward affairs. Affairs are often glamorized in movies, romance novels, soap operas, and TV shows. Public disclosure of public figures having affairs is headline news because people are fascinated and titillated by hearing about others' affairs. Men are bombarded with images of women as sex objects in advertising and marketing campaigns. Over and over, the message to men is that the good life includes a procession of sexy women in their lives. Women inadvertently buy into this image and struggle to achieve it. The lack of good sex education and the existence of sexual taboos combine to make it difficult to talk honestly about sex.
Truly speaking, women seem to be better cheaters than men: they are better at keeping their affairs under wraps and generally have an agenda for their infidelity. Some affairs occur because the cheating parties truly want to leave their established partner, particularly when they are married. However, very few married men leave their wife for their mistress! That is, unless their wife finds out and leaves. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on an average, there are more than three women who gets murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. If your partner is not willing to seek help for his abusive behavior, your only option is to leave or get divorced.
The top 10 reasons why men have affairs include: 1. More sex (sometimes due to lack of sex in their relationship) 2. Sexual variety through different partners or different sexual experiences 3. Too boost their ego to feel special or still attractive to the opposite sex 4. For the thrill of the chase 5. Opportunistic sex (if the opportunity occurs, they can’t pass it up) 6. To sabotage their current relationship 7. Revenge (to get back at their partner for one reason or another) 8. A feeling of entitlement (the belief they are entitled because they work hard or are the bread winner) 9. Sexual addiction 10.To escape
There is no such thing as a perfect affair. Keeping an on-going affair is a juggling act of covering up lies, explaining time away, and dealing with associated guilt feelings. The cheater becomes consumed by guilt and sometimes lashes out even more at their partner.
Stephany Alexander is the founder of http://www.WomanSavers.com the World's Largest Database Rating Men. She has been quoted on CNN, Fox Nationwide, the New York Times, and more. She has created over 10 women's comedy cartoon ecards, 6 women's online games. She has been guest on hundreds of radio shows. For more information or to interview, please email womansavers@womansavers.com
» left by Avis Ward(11,265) Avis Ward (2 years 165 days ago.)
I agree with you, there is no such thing as a perfect affair. There are also no acceptable reason(s) for anyone to have an affair. It would be great if everyone had more self-respect. There wouldn't be extramarital affairs. Have a great weekend! Respond to this comment
» left by Ben Jones(7,726) Ben Jones (2 years 162 days ago.)
Certainly an interesting read. I did some surfing and came up with some rather incredible stats (not sure they're accurate but there were multiple sources). According to some studies, nearly 60% of men and 30% of women will have extra marital affairs during the course of their marriage(s). What a sad inditement indeed if these figures are even remotely true. I guess we can see one major reason for the high divorce rate these days.
Another interesting statistic indicated a correlation between a man’s income and his likelihood to cheat on his partner. The more a man earns, the more likely he is to be unfaithful. So the answer must be marry a pauper and live happily ever after? Start kissing frogs everyone!
» left by Joel Hendon(18,719) Joel Hendon (2 years 56 days ago.)
Good article Stephany and probably very accurate. I know one situation which I have witnessed several times in my life. Some women, fairly rare I think, have an extreme reaction somewhat like post partum depression but which results in frigidity. I have known of three couples who, after their first child, entered into a sexless relationship. And each of the three men, although remaining with their wives, turned into sex-craved idiots. Chasing after any woman with carelss abandon.
This may be fairly well covered in your reasons 1 and 7. Every time I see a situation of a couple with one child and the man running after every woman except his spouse, I suspect this problem. Now, don't think that this is some kind of confession. I'm happliy married to the same girl I married 52 years ago and we had 3 precious daughters. So there. Respond to this comment
» left by Anonymous (1 year 353 days ago.)
I suppose women have just as many affairs in America as men do nowadays. With STDs, I think affairs is a health risk. But I agree that lack of good sex at home can drive men into affairs to find satisfaction but that isn't justifiably moral. It's always best to divorce and start a new life than ruin things for the kids. Women too should stop making dumb choices when they marry so that later they don't have to run into someone else's arms. Respond to this comment
» left by nikki from scotland (1 year 272 days ago.)
Do men and women actually really love each other? Seems to me that people get married for love but in the end it cant be love cos one or two of them have had an affair.
Is there any such thing as love? i used to think so but im having doubts.
I dont think anyone should get married cos whats the point when u can spend ur life with them anyway, and saves u from a divorce. That way if u want to leave u can and there wouldnt be affairs in the first place.
People get married cos they think thats what ur supposed to do when with someone for a while, everyone else does it so they should do it too. Well i wont be getting married, no matter how long im with a partner or how much i love him(if there is any such thing) cos it seems to me no matter how much they love u they will have an affair anyway.
We were put on this earth to have kids not to marry. Respond to this comment
» left by Ann (1 year 184 days ago.)
I understand better now as to why men have affairs and its thanx to this article.
» left by nancy green from Jonesboro, ar. (1 year 60 days ago.)
I found this article to be very informative and not soooooo shocking on so many points. I have seen the sad lives of cheaters and most end up lonely and estranged from children, other family members, friends. I think that self image plays an important part in the lives of people who decide to cheat. I think being neglected for many baby boomers males was a direct result of the supermoms of the seventies. We could do it all so why the need of the man? I think that for most men, the wives have a very full plate anyway with children, jobs, the house-sometimes his needs are put way down that list of things to take care of. I do not judge these men except to think maybe their ego could have needed a little stroking but then who was there for us women. Great article, Stephany!
i would first like to say that any one guy or girls who cheats is a terrible person and deserves no sympathy from any one after some searching i found that in a relationship where the man and women are not married the women are over 70% more likely to cheat than me however the roles reverse after the ring goes on the finger men become 30% more likely to cheat than women as someone who has seen this happen many times as well as i have had it happen to my parents modern women frequently distance them selves from there partner for long periods of time both parties crave emotional support from each other the differance is married women tend to shut things out and men will go search for the things they need because they dont want to spend the rest of thier lives with a women who puts everything before them but this works both ways for men and women we have to learn to put our partners before our live if we dont we will continue to see this downward spirall of the relationship moddle failing over and over again ps sory to all the people who have gone through this its a terrible thing to see or go through
No truer words spoken when said "married men never leave their wives for their mistress". People who are unfaithful don't have the courage to leave their current situation and look at this as an escape. What a sorry way for an out!
If a man will do it with you he will do it to you! Do you really want to have him and be wondering for the rest of your life? He has probably already cheated with someone else or will cheat again once your relationship is over. I know it sucks but it is reality so think about it before you leap!
» left by Anonymous (4 hours 5 minutes ago.) New Comment!
its as this... Keep your man happy, dont be a nagger... the real question is... why do woman allow married men into their lives with the intention of having an affair? Its simple.... any man wants what he cant have... and if you are married, every woman is something that they cant have... excluding their wife. So ill ask again, why do woman let married men into their lives with the intention of having an affair?
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