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I keep reading in various
articles and in marriage self-help books that the reason a spouse cheats is
because of something the other spouse did or didn’t do? But this is incorrect
information. To blame one spouse for the sexual indiscretions of the other only
gets the cheater off the hook, so to speak. What a web of deceit we can weave.
It’s wrong folks.
Couples spend hundreds, and
sometimes thousands of dollars listening to a stranger tell them what is wrong
with their marriage. But if the marriage does not have the proper foundations
in the first place, none of it matters!
What is important is getting to the root of the issues facing couples
today in their marriage, not arguing over who is right or wrong.
Everyone originates from God
and everyone is accountable to God for his or her actions. The root of
unfaithfulness in marriage has absolutely nothing to do with who we are married
to. It has to do with who we are as people.
What really causes a spouse
to cheat is the lack of the spiritual Christ in his or her life. Spiritual
bankruptcy is the root of unfaithfulness to God and to our spouse. Living a spiritual life and experiencing the
power of Christ tends to make people realize how important they really are and that
is when morals begin changing in that person for the good, and the temptation
to cheat goes away from their heart and mind.
What causes a spouse to
cheat is lack of morals – It takes a person of upright character to withstand
the temptations of society. If a person
does not trust in, and believe in God they will follow what the world does. It
is really that simple. Sometimes a person will commit adultery even when they
know it is wrong. It is a lifestyle
thing. Monkey see, monkey do.
If you have no faith you
will live with no faith. If you think you are a believer in Christ and are
still cheating on your spouse, maybe it is time to review your faith.
Have you committed your life
to Jesus Christ? That’s the question that needs answered? If you answered no,
then you will live your life under your own understanding of what you think,
feel and believe, which ultimately leads to sin.
[Do not be deceived: Neither
the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor
homosexuals offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers
nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11]
In the above scripture, Paul
was describing the characteristics of unbelievers. If you feel that you are a
believer but continue in these practices you will not inherit the Kingdom of
God. Such people need to re-examine
their lives to see if they truly are believers in Christ Jesus.
In other words people are
condemned not because of what they do not know, but for what they do with what
they know. If a person knows that adultery is a sin and they still cheat on
their spouse, then God will judge them.
People violate the very standards that they create for themselves. The
standards of society are sin. So if we
live by that foundation for our marriage, what do you think is going to happen?
If a man or woman is not
dedicated to their marriage and they have no principles to base marriage on,
then the commitment level will not mean much to them either, and they will
stray from the marriage bed. It’s that simple.
So next time you read that
the cause of a spouse’s infidelity is because of the person they are married
to, think again. Couples need to stop blaming each other and start taking
responsibility for their own actions.
[He said to them, “You are
the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts.
What is highly praised among men is detestable in God’s sight." Luke 16:15]
*** Angie writes books, articles, and e-books on subjects such as love, sex, and intimacy between couples. Angie's books offer much needed wisdom and guidance for marriage and center on the biblical foundations that God outlines for couples to follow for an exceptional marriage.
Angie writes the marriage column for EzraWeb online magazine and is working on her fourth book about the insidious disease of alcoholism. This book is written for the alcoholic and those who love an alcoholic.
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