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What allows us the flexibility of springing back from a horrific happening or circumstance? And there can be so many examples of that. A break up with someone you still love, but can’t get along with, is one such example. A death in the family, or that of someone close, or a fire in which all you own is gone, are other examples. There might be a foreclosure on your home, a lay off at work, or a physical health problem. Your paycheck may not be as much as your bills. You may be going through a divorce or separation. Your car may break down, and you have no money to fix it. Your hot water heater may go, and you still have no money to fix that either.
Where does the resiliency come for those of us who look at the problem, get upset over it, and then either fix it if we can, or move on until it can be fixed? And if it can’t be fixed, where do we the get the resiliency to deal with that aspect? How does our brain accept the pain of the heart and tell us we’re going to be okay? Either way! And can we listen, or do we let those emotions and feelings become stronger than our minds? Sometimes we love and desire objects or people, but they aren’t healthy for us to be around. When does the straw break the camels’ back, and the problem finally get faced? It doesn’t really matter when, it will happen eventually.
Everyone handles these problems in their own way, although I’m sure all the therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists know the answers. And obviously, they know different things than we do, or we wouldn’t be trying so hard to be resilient from something! And I also think everyone goes through growth and change during their lives, and handles stress in better ways. Although, I know a couple of old timers who never changed their nasty, over powering and angry ways. They lived their whole lives battling people, places, and things. How sad.
I don’t want to do that. It doesn’t make any sense. Why live? I know it stems from anger, and hurt, and fear, but why do some of us want to change those personality traits in us, and others fight it? Like they fight everything! I think it hurts less to confront our demons and lighten our loads, than it is to ignore they exist, and battle the world. The world isn’t the problem. The problem lies in each of us, for each of our reasons. Denial is a sure road to Hell. It will eat away at every cell of your body. If you release it, and admit your faults, and work on changing them, the negative energy you carried becomes positive energy you can count on, and enjoy. The world’s a better place, the ex is a better person, the old angry man isn’t so bad, the bills just barely get paid, but they get paid, and we might even catch ourselves smiling or, can you imagine, laughing?
It’s hard for us to admit our faults. Maybe we are quick to judge, we may like to gossip, we may not always tell the truth, we may get angry and nasty often. These character traits can all be worked on. One at a time. The satisfaction one gets from knowing they are living the line of right, is worth doing the right things. The feelings I felt when I started analyzing what I needed to change in myself in order to be happier, and more spiritual, were those of an awakening, with each realization. I was quick tempered because I had so much anger deep inside, so, I had to look at that anger , each thing at a time. I had to think about it, and try to rectify it, and make amends if possible, and then put it to rest. I’m not perfect, I can rage with the best of them, and do from time to time, but nothing like before.
I’m much calmer and more at peace. You don’t have to yell or scream when you feel like that. Compared to feeling like your head was going to blow off if someone said one wrong thing, or did one more move. It feels better. Healthier. More in harmony with life and nature and other people. More in line with what I believe my Higher Power wants from me. I doubt he wants the angry, belligerent person I once was. Or can be at times. And what makes those times different? Is it just the final straw? Is it the edge of your patience and understanding? Does someone just keep annoying and harassing until you can’t take anymore? And what does it take for you to not have to respond? That’s what I’m striving for. I can go for so long, longer than in the past, and I’m proud of that, but there’s definitely a limit to what I can calmly handle. There’s a line. And if it’s crossed, it’s immoral to me. And maybe immoral equals=all bets are off.
I have only been going to Reflexology for a year, and it’s helped tremendously, but maybe with time, my responses will get better. there’s more in my core that needs to be exposed. More needs to be purged. And since I’m talking with my Reflexologist each week, and my wonderful friends, I am doing much better than I ever would have in the past, under the circumstances I am going through. I want to feel free, and in control of myself, and do as I please, without having to answer to anyone else. I’ve gone though enough to deserve that much. Everyone deserves that much.
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