"Statutory rape" is the term. It's harsh for a reason. It's a lot more than just "sexual misconduct" or "sexual harassment". If it happens to a minor, it's abuse – it's statutory rape. I have been a professional, licensed therapist for over 20 years in the Los Angeles area, and I can tell you that the effects of this crime on the victim's soul and very identity can be devastating. It forces them to cover themselves with so many layers of protection that they forget (or fail to discover) who they were made to be.
The good news is that there is a road back from this abyss. That's what it feels like to many of them – a black mark on their soul. Each person is unique of course, so they'll try on a myriad of exteriors to disguise how they really feel about themselves. Many become addicted to drugs, booze, perfectionism and even sex. But inside they feel a frightening blackness, almost completely void of self value. And although their victimization might have been 20, 30 or 50 years earlier, they feel a deep and sharp sense of shame as though it was yesterday. My job as a therapist is to help them first admit what happened to them, and to then peel off each successive layer of self protection as they build up their true self.
People have the concept that the damage from statutory rape or molestation is worse on girls than on boys. Not so. Not at all. Boys can be equally devastated by sins committed against their bodies and souls. They wonder why they can't have a true sense of peace, a thankful heart, or healthy relationships. But men are generally less likely to ever admit they are suffering. In fact, they may not even understand the root of their rage or pain. We all know the cliché that men are harder to get to the dentist or doctor because they're supposed to be "tough". Imagine the courage it takes for a man to admit he needs help and to go to counseling!
That's why I'm glad my friend Tish Smiley is producing the play, MUSTANG SALLY, which addresses this important topic. I love theatre in the first place, but I am especially excited when plays deal with important dynamics that need to be exposed. With all the hot news stories about sexual abuse by female teachers with their male students, you'd think these occurrences are a new "trend." This is a misconception. There is no new sin under the sun. Unfortunately, it's been happening for thousands of years.
Most men and women carry the weight of these sins (sins committed against them by others) their entire lives. But they don't need to. There is freedom if they want it. Yes, it's painful, but not as painful as a living the rest of their lives under the heaviness that keeps them confused about who they are. This is not what God wants.
In fact, after seeing a few cases of abuse while I was still in my practicum, I decided to name my practice "True Identity Counseling." I know a lot of people can't afford one-on-one therapy, so, for nearly 15 years, I have led an eight week Christian based course called "Hope and Healing From Abuse" in Van Nuys, California. The course is designed to help the abused see the truth about what has occurred, and to give them the tools to release their burdens.
You might think that because it's a class setting, there's not enough privacy. Quite the opposite. One lady who I counseled individually for several years is now a helper in the Hope and Healing series. She says that in some ways, there is actually more privacy in the class setting, "because they get to sit with themselves and mull the new information over in their mind without feeling any pressure to respond immediately to each point.." Anybody seeing the play, MUSTANG SALLY who has been a victim of abuse, or knows someone who has, please feel free to call True Identity Counseling at 818.907-8783. There is hope and healing! For more about the play, MUSTANG SALLY, opening at the Whitefire Theatre in Sherman Oaks later this year, please visit
www.mustangsallytheplay.com or
www.myspace.com/mustangsallytheplay .
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