I am one of those individuals who by choice, at more than one instance in my life, have belonged to that category of people we label as husbands. I have been a husband on more than one occasion. In any event, I recently had the pleasure of engaging in one of those long conversations with a friend regarding the inequality exhibited by the genders in holy matrimony, specifically, the almost impossible task of finding a "real" husband. Then, after reading an essay by Judy Syfers, I Want a Wife, I felt compelled to say a few things from a husband's point of view, because I too want a husband.
I want a husband so I can continue going to school while he supports me. I want a husband who can keep the car maintained and running so that I have dependable transportation. I want a husband to fix my leaky faucets, broken toasters and clogged toilets. I want a husband to take out the trash, mow the lawns and exterminate the ants, spiders and mice.
I want a husband who can look after the children while I go shopping for the food that I like to eat. I want a husband who will discipline the children when they are naughty and allow me to take the credit when they are good. I want a husband who will fix the flat tires on my children's bikes, replace the windows that the children break, retrieve their toys off of the roof and out of the drains.
I would also like a husband who takes me out to dinner once a week, who will send me flowers and cards and open car doors for me. Yet, my husband must treat me like an equal. I want a husband who can come home from a long hard day at work feeling excited, invigorated and passionate. I want a husband who enjoys listening to me share the latest gossip regarding the personal lives of all of my friends and enemies. I want a husband who will be understanding when I want to talk to my friends on the telephone until the late hours of the night when he wants to make love.
I want a husband who can perform in bed well, who can understand exactly what it is that I need and want. I want a husband who will be entirely faithful to me, yet who will understand that I need a little romance in my life once in a while when he can't meet my needs. I want a husband who will be tender, gentle and loving... yet firm. I want a husband with stamina, who won't leave me unsatisfied, who will go on and on and on, and bring me to ecstasy again and again.
I want a husband who will paint the house, clean up after my pets, fend off intruders, and balance the budget. I want a husband who will give me money just because he loves me. I want a husband who will entertain me when I am bored, tell me jokes when I am sad, and give me a shoulder to cry on when I need to cry. I want a husband who will pull the hair out of my brushes and out of the sink. I want a husband who will deal with the Jehovah's Witnesses when they come to the door again this week.
Most of all I want a husband who will allow me to find myself. A husband who will bring the children fishing so I can be alone. I want a husband who will talk to the bill collecters, crawl under the house to fix the broken thing-a-ma-jig, and barbecue for me on hot days.
I want a husband who will be a master mechanic, who will crawl under the car to change the oil, replace the brakes, pull the transmission and rebuild my carbureator. I want a husband who will arrange for alternative transportation for me when he is unable to fix my broken car.
I want a husband who will disassemble the waterbed and move it when ever I feel the bedroom needs to be re-arranged. I want a husband who will put together my entertainment center, iron my clothes and do my laundry when I am at school. But, most of all, I want a husband who will be understanding when I tell him that I don't love him anymore, that I have found somebody new.
© Mark Parsec
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