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Home » Categories » News » Current Events » The Great Catfish and Shrimp Mystery » Printer Friendly

Mike Fak

The Great Catfish and Shrimp Mystery

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Submitted Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Mike Fak (5,620)
Mike Fak

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Well Illinois Senator Dick Durbin is having a time getting the Federal Government to crack down on food items coming from China. Durbin says there are too many agencies all with different rules regarding importation of food stuffs and so it is that nothing is getting done. Durbin laments that more and more foods with chemicals inside them that this country outlawed the day after the Mayflower ran aground are sifting into our country and into our stores.

To be sure, the tainted, imported, dog food received immediate remedy from the Feds. You see, you can get away with poisoning our mothers-in-law or our sons-in-law but you had best not poison old Fido or Whiskers or the full measure of all government agencies will come down hard on you.

Now there is concern about chemicals in the shrimp and catfish and eel that comes from China. It seems the toxin levels are almost as bad as those in the fish swimming around in Lake Michigan.

First off, if you eat eel, I won’t shed a tear for you if you get sick. Some things aren’t born to be eaten and eel, in my book, is right up there with rocky mountain oysters, rooster fries and hog jowls.

The shrimp and catfish issue is totally different as there are few if any homes in America that don’t enjoy heaping quantities of both those foods throughout the year. Now I’m not concerned with what is inside these sea foods and who should be in charge of stopping them at the border.

My question is why do we have to import either of these items at all.

Let’s look at shrimp first. Now if you have ever been to the gulf coast you know that shrimp are everywhere down there. In fact, the shrimp are so plentiful in New Orleans that if a sewer backs up, shrimp come floating up the stool bowl. There are millions of pounds of shrimp right here in the USA just waiting to be devoured, so why do we need to import these tidbits from a country half way around the world.

Catfish importing is even crazier. In Illinois alone, along I-55 south of Springfield, there are dozens and dozens of catfish farms. Every state has catfish ponds and most of the country can fish for catfish in local streams, lakes and ponds. So you tell me we need catfish from China?

I know you are telling me this has to do with cost. Things made or grown or it seems raised in China are cheaper than what we can offer the same items for back here but that can’t be true with catfish and shrimp.

Let’s look at the financial dynamics of bringing a Chinese catfish or shrimp to your plate.

First there must be a pond with employees tending and feeding the fish. This has to cost something. There are costs to the chemicals the Chinese add to their ponds albeit the chemicals can kill anything except lab rats.

The shrimp and catfish have to be harvested and cleaned before processing and that must cost a little. Then the fish must be frozen and flown halfway around the world. That plane ticket must carry a dandy price.

When the fishy goods arrive, a licensed importer must accept the goods and so we have shipping and handling on the tail of every shrimp and catfish who made the journey. The importer sells the stock to a distributor who wants a profit and then the distributor sells the ocean snacks to a store chain that must pay the costs of delivering the seafood items to their stores. Of course the stores all need to make a little bit too. So can you honestly tell me a catfish from China could actually be cheaper than one you have delivered from Dixon’s Fish Market in East Peoria, Illinois?

Senator Durbin trips on his tongue one last time when he advises us we should make certain the catfish we are buying is from the good old USA. How do we do that? Do we bring a blacklight to the store and if the fish glows in the light we know it’s from China? What do we do when we order catfish at our favorite Central Illinois restaurant? Do we scrape off all that marvelous crunchy coating to try and find a “Made in China" stamp on the carcass?

We need to scale back the slippery slope of Chinese imports of fish right now. Otherwise, before you know it, the buffalo and walleye we all enjoy so much might also be coming from China. That of course would be patently un-American.


Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com

Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com

Mike now offers a 26,000 word e-book on making money as a freelance writer for only $10.00 at this page. http://www.mikefak.com/id45.html



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Comments on this article:


» left by Avis Ward (11,219)
Avis Ward
(2 years 134 days ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Mike, I absolutely love your sense of humour and writing style. I chuckled, giggled and laughed as I read this true story. Get puns and lively rhetoric to make a current events news article very interesting. I absolutely agree with you on the need to import catfish and shrimp from anywhere outside of the USA. I know in the deep south (where I live), that is considered unAmerican. I don't eat catfish and try to stay away from shellfish altogether but I enjoy it, especially shrimp. Maybe with all the trouble due to various regulations, this alone will scale back on the importation of both. Great article!
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» left by Mike Fak (5,620)
Mike Fak
(2 years 134 days ago.)

Thanks Avis. We allow stupid things to be done to us as a country sometimes and the fish from China makes no sense. By the way, the reason the fish can be exported is the Chinese govt. pays the bills. In effect they are waging a war with us and we won't lift a finger to say this isn't fair. We gotta laugh. The alternative is we go crazy. Thanks again. Mike
Respond to this comment

» left by Pickethead (2 years 124 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Well,I guess I'll have to start fishing again.
What does a Chinese catfish look like?
So many things to think about!
Another great piece Mike.(As always)
Look forward to seeing you at your next book signing.(HINT-HINT)
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