Life knocks us around from time to time, some of us more than others, but even if we share some of the same type of experiences how we handle and recover from these experiences can differ greatly and is what defines us as individuals. Some people will fall into despair and depression when a crisis strikes while others seemingly make a rapid recovery and bounce right back.
Here are some key ingredients in the recipe for bouncing back:
- A positive mental attitude
- Self belief
- Determination
- Will Power and fighting spirit
- Faith in a higher power/religion
- Family/friends supportive network
- An ability to learn from mistakes
- An ability to turn negatives into positives
- An ability to accept the things you cannot change and strength to change the things you can
When you hit rock bottom the only way is up!' Having this as your mantra in itself can work wonders.
Undoubtedly there will be personality traits, which will affect our ability to cope with stressful life events. Having a positive mental attitude and optimistic outlook will get most of us through a random crisis. Determination and a fighting spirit will ensure we push through the negatives and force a positive outcome or at least equip ourselves with the tools to endure and survive the crisis. But even the strong willed of us can grow weary when negative things happen repeatedly and seemingly with no let up.
This is when the other ingredients can play an essential part in our recovery. Belief in God can give those of us who believe an extra bit off strength to work through our problems, and friends and family are also very instrumental. A problem shared is a problem halved. Talk about your difficulties to those nearest and dearest and also share your problem/stress by talking to virtual friends on Internet forums. Help and relief can come from the most unexpected of places, so do not isolate yourself from the world, but rather draw it closer to you instead.
Finally your attitude to negative events is all-important. Maybe not at the time but soon after, consider how the stressful negative event might have had positive outcomes in your life. It may be that the only positive you can think of is that you can now relate to those who have experienced a similar situation. This is no small thing; it may in the future enable you to offer help and support to someone in need (as you were offered) that previously you could not through lack of understanding.
By taking the negatives and trying to turn them into positives your memory of the events will alter and be less stressful upon reflection.
Finally, the wonderful quote by Saint Francis of Assisi
"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference."
When we accept the worst case scenario, even when realizing that the absolute worst case scenario is unlikely to happen, it makes that midway prospect much less fearsome and we can cope with it.
You are never as alone as you may feel, just reach inside yourself and outside yourself for help.
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