I’ve been ranting quite a bit lately about how bars & clubs are overrated places to meet MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex). And I’m famously relentless when it comes to harping on how trite it is to keep focusing on having “game" there. All of that’s true.
And yet, take a wild guess what I’m going to talk about today.
But before I do, allow me to be perfectly clear. The world is indeed saturated with the same warmed-over advice about how to “game" each other when out on the town. But Sunday night, a flat-out wild realization hit me like a bolt of lightning while Emily and I were out at…well…a bar.
There is one angle of this whole “bars & clubs" schtick that I’ve never heard talked about anywhere. Karaoke “game".
So what caused this epiphany? Well, basically Emily and I have both known for quite sometime that karaoke joints tend to be naturally more social places than most bars. This is understandable. After all, you’re in an “interactive" setting where the audience is self-generating the entertainment. This makes fellow co-participants want to talk to each other…congratulating or even co-conspiring with each other.
Sunday night was no different…except for two key events. First of all, there was the decidedly average woman who booted herself at least two notches up any man’s raw attraction scale upon belting out the World’s Hottest Rendition of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats". Shortly thereafter, something even more mind-bending happened. A few minutes after completing my first “selection"—a particularly soulful one that nobody could have predicted I’d go for—Emily had several decidedly hot young women tap her on the shoulder, gaze longingly into her eyes and say something to the effect of, “Oh…that was so dreamy. How come my boyfriend can’t be like YOURS?"
As if that wasn’t shocking enough, the looks and comments actually RAMPED UP as the night progressed. Emily’s “perfectly imperfect" take of “Hella Good" didn’t hurt. Neither did hearing every chick’s voice in the place singing along with my hard-practiced “Jumper" by Third Eye Blind.
So it hit me: Karaoke “game"—when strategized and executed correctly—has got to be the most naturally effective version of “night game" imaginable. Seriously. Get this right, and men and women BOTH can practically own the whole place, driving “interest-level" on the part of the opposite gender so rambunctiously in the process that people are practically throwing numbers and e-mail addresses.
Let’s break it down. First, here’s WHY:
1) It takes REAL CONFIDENCE to even get up there. Doing so provides HARD evidence.
2) You cause every hottie in the room to NOTICE YOU, even as you get this done without any shred of NEEDINESS whatsoever
3) You get MAD SOCIAL PROOF without begging for approval (just for showing up, really…even if you’re verifiably terrible)
4)Everyone understands you have a REAL PERSONALITY and that you might actually be FUN to hang out with.
5) You get to make eye contact with whomever you want--from a position of leadership .
Wait a minute…all of those bullet points sound familiar. If my head is on straight, ALL OF THE ABOVE READ LIKE THE BASICS OF CREATING ATTRACTION. And all in one simple step? Are you KIDDING ME?
No. I am most certainly not kidding you. Remember, however, that I did complicate matters by mentioning that both STRATEGY and EXECUTION have to be on-point. Otherwise, it ain’t happenin’ for you.
So you know WHY, here’s HOW:
1) Get Up There
You have to participate in order to reap the benefits. And here’s the best part: You DO NOT have to know how to sing. Think about it. There are people you can name off the top of your head who have RECORD CONTRACTS and can’t carry a tune in a bucket. The strategy? Pick songs by those people! (Duh). Now, on the other hand, if you were the star of your high-school choir and/or you can sing along to the radio in the car like a freakin’ rock star…I don’t want to hear any more excuses. The world is yours on a silver platter here. Sack up.
2) Plan Your “Set" Ahead Of Time
It’s important to pick a few songs you think you could theoretically nail to the floor ahead of time. Then, get on iTunes and drop a lousy buck for each one. Then play them ten times in a row until they are STONE COLD. I know one guy who truly can’t sing, but has some Weird Al song down so ridiculously that he brings the house down with it every time. Practice…it’s worth it. Smoothness rocks even over raw talent in most cases.
3) Mix It Up
This is a major way to go from “participation" to “looks of awe and amazement accompanied by unsolicited approaches from everyone present". Say you decide you feel comfortable with a particular hip-hop tune. Next time you get up there, throw down something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Going from rock-station anthem to R & B classic works particularly well. Whatever the case, work hard to have at least one slower, libido-inspiring arrow in the proverbial quiver of tunes in your repertoire. If you are summarily freaked out by even getting up there for now, this can wait. But work towards it.
4) If You Already Have A Date, Sing To Him/Her
One time I busted out with “Sara Smile" to a woman named Sara, who I’m pretty sure still talks to her friends about it even though the guy who did it is now married—to someone else. What made the whole gig even more poignant is that there was NO CHANCE of guessing that a guy like me would pull that one out of the ether. Jaws dropped. Nice.
5) Bring Energy
You’ve heard that you need to bring high energy when “opening a set". This is no exception. In fact, “energy" equals “awesome" a shockingly high percentage of the time.
6) Collaborate And Be Social
High five others when they are done. Ask the next table over what they are singing. Find someone to sing the male/female duet with you (nice). Are you beginning to see how this can be like “shooting fish in a barrel"? Just leave the guns home.
7) Dance To Other People’s Songs
Emily and I did this—when nobody else had—and what do you know…everyone else joined us. Not only do you show some leadership when you do this, you validate whoever is on stage. Make friends, influence people, create attraction.
By now, you may be thinking, “How come I never figured any of this out before?" If you are like most, it’s because you’ve long ago ruled out any chance of anyone dragging you on stage. Get over it, and watch amazing things happen.
Scot McKay is a character-based dating and seduction coach, online dating consultant, talk show host and founder of X & Y Communications. He lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife and co-conspirator Emily (whom he met online), three kids and two hairless terriers.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
