Thanksgiving has always been a time when our family would get together, not just for a meal but to reflect on previous years and how the holiday was spent.
This year will be a very unusal time for our family. I guess you can say, I am trying to escape the preparations, but most of all, this holiday will not be the same without my wonderful Mother-in-law who was a "Mom" to me for the past thirty-nine years. This wonderful woman passed away on August first from complications from a massive stroke.
Mom always loved to prepare for holidays, and she would call me to check on the menu. I can't face this year without that call. She loved to cook and although she had a small condo in Boca Raton, would manage to put a table for twelve together and make it feel like we were attending a feast for the royals. Yes, we all contributed to the table but Mom always made something special that everyone loved. She was a marvelous cook.
I know that she would not want us to be unhappy and want us to continue with our traditions and get together and remember past holidays, but the wounds are still open and far too fresh to celebrate without her there.
I had an opportunity to attend a wedding for my nephew over that weekend and although I was hesitant to accept, my husband encourged me to make reservations to go. We learned first hand after Mom's sudden stroke and untimely death that you should not put off seeing loved ones and more importantly letting them know on a daily basis what they mean to you. It will be a great opportunity for me to see some family members I have not seen in over a decade. He told me that life is far too precious to waste and that the timing would be perfect. I worried about leaving him and my children and grandchildren since we always tried to spend every holiday together. He assured me he would not be alone and would spend Thanksgiving with his Aunt, who was Mom's sister, and as he put it " I would not be gone long, I am leaving on Thanksgiving day and returning that Saturday"
I guess what I am trying to say is that like most people, unfortunately I did take things for granted and thought that Mom would be there forever to plan those meals, and more importantly be there for me to talk to and confide in. We had a unique relationship, like a Mother and Daughter and her death has left a giant hole in my heart and I miss her terribly. They say time heals all wounds. I am sure eventually I will be able to get through the holidays and celebrate as she would have wanted us to.
So this Thanksgiving when you are complaining about planning a meal and having the family over, remember that you never know when someone you love will be taken from you and you will never get the chance to go back and make things right so take this time to tell those you love, how much they mean to you and be thankful for the time you spend together.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Iris S. Taub |
