You’re probably a man or woman considered to be a "rising star" in your field of work but when it comes to relationships it’s a whole other story. With a really busy schedule you do not have much time to socialize and meet different kinds of men and women. One day, while waiting for a dental appointment of purchasing office equipment, you meet some one who makes you feel exciting, sexy and youthful again. You are charmed by his/her sheer lack of responsibility to the world, even though you are an extremely responsible man or woman.
In the beginning everything feels great because he/she is very different from your too structured lifestyle. What a fresh breathe of air! But this feeling doesn’t last long as you begin to realize that he/she has no responsibility to you, either. You have a few “talks" about responsibility but nothing happens. One day he or she ups and goes -- in the most irresponsible way.
But here is the thing, this is not the first man/woman you’ve been with who seems not to care about the direction his/her life is taking, let alone care about you and the relationship -- at least enough to want to change.
This classic case is what I call the You-Complete-Me Bad Relationships Pattern
What’s really happening with you is that the inner child within believes that you can not take care of yourself and because of this believe you are a victim of vague worries and anxieties; constantly worrying about what will happen now and what will happen next and sometimes you easily crack under imagined pressures.
The irony here is that you are fearful of crisis and overly focused on security, but the people you attract and start a relationship with are people who tend to avoid dealing with the details and practicalities of everyday life . They avoid formulating clear goals and lead a rather haphazard and unorganized existence.
They leave the relationship because they feel like they’re failing to live up to your high standards. The really sad thing is that, you are unable to meet your high stands yourself. And because you are not meeting your own standards you try even harder to impose your ideas, values and way of life on others, sometimes in a subtle manner and sometimes more imperatively. Both strategies only creates more frustration and more pain.
Many of us will go from one hurtful situation or failed relationship to another without giving any thought whatsoever to why or how our relationships keep failing. Even better, we over correct -- try to change the outer circumstances without changing the inside -- and we end up in another relationship that fails for similar, yet opposite extreme reasons.
The hard facts are that you are creating these experiences. You and only you are the only common denominator in all of your relationships. The other person may have his/her own issues from childhood and you can try to learn how to spot irresponsible men and women by the words they use and their body language but that’s just like trying to cover a sore with a really nice looking piece of cloth so that you can’t see it. Unfortunately this does not heal the sore.
If you want to attract people who bring you happiness and fulfillment (and not pain and heartache), and if you want to maintain a healthy fulfilling relationship you must take each situation you experience with another person as having a message for you. Until you listen to it, it is highly probable that it will be repeated.
So next time the relationship ends the same way, don’t act surprised, hurt and betrayed. You committed yourself to an unsustainable liaison knowing full-well how it will end!
If you suspect that you have a Bad Relationships Pattern, you find articles in my Date Doctor website, Articles Section, Category “Bad Relationships and Choosing Right very insightful. You will especially find very helpful my other articles: 1) Why You Always Attract Men Or Women Who Stop Calling; 2) Why You Always Attract Men Or Women Who Cheat; 3) Why You Always Attract People Who Abandon And Betray You Over And Over; 4) Why You Always Attract Very Angry Women!
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness e-Book and Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern e-Workbook. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
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